The Male Complex

[eurologic]

hey guys!

Just wanna talk to you about something i constantly fight about in my own head.

I guess it's about jealousy for and against. I've got a real hot gf. she gets hit on a lot and sometimes i hate it and sometimes i LOVE it! Sometimes I hate it so much that i wanna leave her and sometimes I love it so much that I ask her if we can have someone watch us screwing. Sometimes i think about watching another guy screw her and then i'll think about how much I want her watching me screw some other hot chick. I can't figure out when and why i feel like this. So my question goes about ---> is jealousy a lack of self-esteem or is it just a random moment. Or is it normal!

What do you guys think and want from your partner?

 

[AFA]

Like other questions here, this is not a matter of taste in style but very complex. It all has to do with your background and to really make a helpful suggestion, you probably wouldn't want to hear the only answer I can give. :dunno:

 

[Friday on my mind]

This is all very freudian type stuff and as AFA said very complex.Only analysis could really get to the root of it I think.But I think all those conflicting feelings you have had are very common and I think might even be termed normal unless taken to extremes.

 

[Christmas_Ape]

Sounds like you're looking for an exhibition. When really it seems like what you need is emotional content. Emotional content, not anger.

 

[Roughneck]

Sometimes you want to leave your partner just because of the attention she gets from others?


Just so I have this straight - you're judging the worth of your relationship based on the attention your gf gets from others?


Wow! I don't know where to start....


cheers,

 

[calpoon]

oedipus, dude. that's all i'm gonna say.

 

[AFA]

Sometimes you want to leave your partner just because of the attention she gets from others?


Just so I have this straight - you're judging the worth of your relationship based on the attention your gf gets from others?


Wow! I don't know where to start....


cheers,

Why don't you come to the topless beach with us in Sint Maarten? :jester:

http://board.freeones.com/showpost.php?p=1447017&postcount=7

 

[calpoon]

man, you really want to pimp out that picture, don't you?

 

[eurologic]

Sometimes you want to leave your partner just because of the attention she gets from others?


Just so I have this straight - you're judging the worth of your relationship based on the attention your gf gets from others?


Wow! I don't know where to start....


cheers,

Roughneck, thanks for your post. Thanks to everyone else who has posted on here.

The response you are making is perhaps one would make in the face of someone who exposes that they get jealous. Shit yeah i get jealousl. So does my missus and I know a lot of people, monogamous or not, do too. So my question is...do i live it and lump it? meaning go to the extreme and face the fact that i could bear seeing her with someone else knowing that if we had that agreement I could get the same condition? Or is sex/love and relationships all about monogamy and that jeaslousy is a normal moral concience saying "no that isn't right!"?

I'd love to able to have sex with another girl and getting the ego trip of being a good fuck but being an equalist ( I don't believe in hypocrisy, double standards etc. what i get, my gf can have too regardless of emotions) I'd witness my other half getting the same. So ultimately the war in my head is about which set of positive and negative emotions to go for.

Set 1 = get to be the man-whore and be a swinger letting my girl be the same OR:

Set 2 = acknowledge that I might not be able to bear my girl with someone else even though I could too and respect that the jealous emotions ( both sides) I have will cause the relationship a lot of stress.

Am I being comprehensible? this is soundinh a little pilosophical...

P.S. I've never cheated on anyone in my life.

 

[Friday on my mind]

Roughneck, thanks for your post. Thanks to everyone else who has posted on here.

The response you are making is perhaps one would make in the face of someone who exposes that they get jealous. Shit yeah i get jealousl. So does my missus and I know a lot of people, monogamous or not, do too. So my question is...do i live it and lump it? meaning go to the extreme and face the fact that i could bear seeing her with someone else knowing that if we had that agreement I could get the same condition? Or is sex/love and relationships all about monogamy and that jeaslousy is a normal moral concience saying "no that isn't right!"?

I'd love to able to have sex with another girl and getting the ego trip of being a good fuck but being an equalist ( I don't believe in hypocrisy, double standards etc. what i get, my gf can have too regardless of emotions) I'd witness my other half getting the same. So ultimately the war in my head is about which set of positive and negative emotions to go for.

Set 1 = get to be the man-whore and be a swinger letting my girl be the same OR:

Set 2 = acknowledge that I might not be able to bear my girl with someone else even though I could too and respect that the jealous emotions ( both sides) I have will cause the relationship a lot of stress.

Am I being comprehensible? this is soundinh a little pilosophical...

P.S. I've never cheated on anyone in my life.

There is no right or wrong answer to these things to me.Its what works for you and your partner.Sex and attraction is just a biological reproductive function at its core,how you feel about it is influenced by many things.Personally I think the desire to be secure in exploring different aspects of it is admirable.Just think how diffucult it is for adult performers to have a relationship,their real partner has to be very secure and I know some even enjoy watching the performer do it with others.They must feel that sex is just sex, but that special feelings for each other are what really make them partners not the sex act.:2 cents:

 

[member006]

I think your over analyzing yourself. Fantasy is a big part of sexual growth and is a normal thing. My ex had the same jealous streak, but on the same hand loved me being looked at and flirted with trait. I think its normal in men.

If you really want to do these things then I would slow down and think harder. Not to say its wrong for everyone, but its just not my thing. I'm a one on one only person type person, but that's me. If they are things just crossing your mind and they spark heat. Its fantasy and perfectly normal so leave it alone. Often the best fantasies are those we think of yet never would act on. In fact that's what fantasies are.

Why not just spend your time thinking on how lucky you are you have a great looking woman that cares for you. Working to keep both of you together and happy and enjoying each other. Be proud others look, let them be the jealous ones, you be the "proud" one. As I have said before, sex is a perk of a relationship not the heart of it. Its one of several intimacies shared and meant to help make two feel as one. Others I don't feel have to be in the mix. IMHO only of course.

LL

 

[calpoon]

I'm going to be brutally honest. You Might want to sit down.

ok? you should be glad that you have someone, because there's a bunch of sad pathetic motherfuckers that would surely trade your places. just suck it up and deal with it, people are going to eye ball fuck the hell out everything that walks. that's just how they are. have your cake, eat it too. don't sweat the small stuff. and if you have to get your freak on, then be a man about it and go do it and don't pussy foot around the issue and lead a chick on.

 

[Member2019]

Just so I have this straight - you're judging the worth of your relationship based on the attention your gf gets from others?

Ahhh ... I remember those days from long ago.
I wasn't very happy, that's all I remember of them.

 

[dave_rhino]

I get jealous.

I trust my girlfriend totally, I know she loves me... But the problem is I don't trust other guys.

I was with a girl who was raped, and I constantly worry it will happen again.

I guess it's a totally different situation. But I can't stand any guy looking at my girl, just because I know exactly what they are thinking.

Recently she was out clubbing and a guy tried to kiss her, she said no... And he punched her in the fucking head. If only I had been there to witness it. I would be in jail right now no doubt...


Anyway, I'm done, continue...

 

[Renegade1Oh]

I get jealous.

I trust my girlfriend totally, I know she loves me... But the problem is I don't trust other guys.

I was with a girl who was raped, and I constantly worry it will happen again.

I guess it's a totally different situation. But I can't stand any guy looking at my girl, just because I know exactly what they are thinking.

Recently she was out clubbing and a guy tried to kiss her, she said no... And he punched her in the fucking head. If only I had been there to witness it. I would be in jail right now no doubt...


Anyway, I'm done, continue...

Right On Brother Dave!!! :hatsoff: After my Divorce I went out with a gal that was also divorced, we had to get restraining orders against her ex-husband cause he kept showing up at my place, for she'd moved in with me. When I was at work one night, he broke in and raped her, messed up her right arm and hand. She'll have the scar on her hand and mental till she dies. She kinda lost it, and moved to her sisters. I totally trust the gal I have now, not the guys, couple of weeks ago we was at the Mall, we was looking at a Jewlery counter and was 2-3 ft apart, two dudes walked up to her and started to put the make on her. One grabbed her arm and also got her blouse. I said back-off, one pulled a knife, I pulled back my wind-breaker back and showed him my S&W .38spl CC all legal, they left in a hurry. They gal behind the counter had called security and I had to show my CC Permit. No problem. It's sad that people have to resort to the things they do, maybe it's just around here. I don't know, but I'm with ya Dave on your answer!! :thumbsup:

 

[Renegade1Oh]

jealousy isn't the same thing. That's being protective, not insecure, Dave. Totally different. Jealousy is generally when you get pissed at your loved one because of (anything) in this case male attention. If you get pissed at the males because you're worried they'll steal her gaze, yes that too is insecure jealousy. But if you get pissed at them because you think they're gonna rape your girl, then you're just very very very overprotective (and this might also come back to bite you) after all far less than one percent of men will ever commit rape on someone other than their wife or girlfriend (the most common form of rape is a man raping his significant other).

Now if you're just mad that they look at her and wanna fuck her, well, you shouldn't be, because what do you think when you look at a hot girl? Doesn't mean you would, but we all want to, it's natural.

Fox they can LOOK all they want, the can drool and slip in it!! They can trip over there tongue!!! I don't care!!! But Just Don't Touch!!! That Ain't Right At All!!! Glad to see your back Fox!!! :wave2:

 

[ChefChiTown]

Generally speaking...women, for whatever reason, like to be constantly reminded of how attractive they are. That's just the way it is. (I personally don't understand it. If you are with someone who loves you, why would it matter if other people were attracted to you or not? There are men that are like this as well, I'm not singling out women on this)

My ex used to get hit on a lot as well and she eventually admitted to me that she really enjoyed when other guys gave her compliments and flirted with her. She said it made her feel "wanted". Was I unhappy about that? Yes, but only because it made me feel like I wasn't "doing my job" and making her feel good myself. Was that true though? No. At the end of every day, she would come home to me and that's all that matters.

 

[AFA]

Honestly I think you need to see a psychotherapist.

 

[member006]

Honestly I think you need to see a psychotherapist.

Please be more specific, which of the 20 posts above you was this for? I mean a lot of us could develop a real complex here. Or in some cases an even worse one.

LL

 

[bodie54]

^^^
LOL
I hear that!
I was thinking he meant me and I hadn't even posted here yet

eurologic - there's no way under any possible cirucumstances it woud appeal to me to see (or even fantasize about) some other guy doing my woman -- but then that's just one opinion