I'm actually embarrassed by how much I laughed at this:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PFoEKcf01qs&feature=channel
(1:38 mark)
"I'm going to soak my arm in kerosene, light it, and fist fuck a goat..."
Also, I'm a sucker for the pepper scene in Dumb & Dumber - specifically when Loyd uses the ketchup and mustard (if you've watched this scene, you know what I'm talking about!).