So there I was...
I was planting some tomatoes in my garden, en route to planting lots of other things. It's nothing strange for people to walk up the alley behind my house, and even less strange when my sweet, wonderful dog runs back to the privacy fence and barks at them through it.
So when this happened, I didn't think much of it. Until I heard the voice call back at my dog through the fence "Shut up!" Ok- game on, you now have my attention.
So I go back to the fence, and look real quietly through the cracks to spot this older guy, probably 50-55 wandering around between my garage, the garage across the alley, and the one for the house next to mine. He's looking around, and immediately (thanks to being a cop for almost a decade) I'm thinking "No... you won't be stealing shit from my garage today."
But he disappears from sight between my garage and the one next to mine. So, I pop open my rear gate, walk out, and say "HEY", but get no response. Walking a few feet further out, I hear...
Farting and splattering poop. Aw HELL NO! This guy is shitting in my neighbor's yard? :eek:
So I go back in and call the cops on the non-emergency number, explain everything to them and give them the description of Mr. Poopy-pants. A while later, they drove by, asked me where he had gone off to (right down the alley), and then off they went. I almost cried, it was the most dedicated and on-the-ball work I've ever seen out of them.
He eventually got arrested for public intoxication and public defecation. He told the officers he was out looking for cans and really had to go. Nice....
I told the officers, keeping a straight face, I thought that was a shitty story.
I crack myself up.
H
I was planting some tomatoes in my garden, en route to planting lots of other things. It's nothing strange for people to walk up the alley behind my house, and even less strange when my sweet, wonderful dog runs back to the privacy fence and barks at them through it.
So when this happened, I didn't think much of it. Until I heard the voice call back at my dog through the fence "Shut up!" Ok- game on, you now have my attention.
So I go back to the fence, and look real quietly through the cracks to spot this older guy, probably 50-55 wandering around between my garage, the garage across the alley, and the one for the house next to mine. He's looking around, and immediately (thanks to being a cop for almost a decade) I'm thinking "No... you won't be stealing shit from my garage today."
But he disappears from sight between my garage and the one next to mine. So, I pop open my rear gate, walk out, and say "HEY", but get no response. Walking a few feet further out, I hear...
Farting and splattering poop. Aw HELL NO! This guy is shitting in my neighbor's yard? :eek:
So I go back in and call the cops on the non-emergency number, explain everything to them and give them the description of Mr. Poopy-pants. A while later, they drove by, asked me where he had gone off to (right down the alley), and then off they went. I almost cried, it was the most dedicated and on-the-ball work I've ever seen out of them.
He eventually got arrested for public intoxication and public defecation. He told the officers he was out looking for cans and really had to go. Nice....
I told the officers, keeping a straight face, I thought that was a shitty story.
I crack myself up.
H
