Single people. Enter this thread.

[STDiva]

Dude, you're living with her, right? Meh, he's texting her. You're sleeping beside her every night.

There's more too it than just texting. I'm not going to get into specifics, but it's worth raging over. I think most people might have done something illegal at this point.

 

[lurkingdirk]

There's more too it than just texting. I'm not going to get into specifics, but it's worth raging over. I think most people might have done something illegal at this point.

Tell her you'd like her to stop. That isn't controlling...Do it in a reasonable way. That's honest. I think you're worrying about the reaction too much. She likely has no idea you're this pissed about it. Tell her in a non-angry, non-confrontational way. That shit will get sorted.

 

[Aaliyah Love]

haha... mall kiosk. you've already won dude.

yup. LOL!

 

[Aaliyah Love]

If she doesn't realize he is being inappropriate and making you feel this way, then you have to tell her. In a non-accusatory way. Then it's up to her to respect you and your relationship and tell him to back off.
If she's encouraging this behavior from him or blows you off when you tell her (IF you think you are DEF not being jealous or insecure and your feelings ARE justified) then you got bigger issues

 

[georges]

Need to have defined boundaries in a relationship. X and Y are ok, Z is not. Once the boundaries are set, and agreed upon by both, then it is easy to quell a situation before one person gets hurt/ends up looking like a controlling ass.

Tell her how it makes you feel, discuss some guidelines, and work out a protocol for future instances. Try to get her to see it from your perspective. Calmly say something along the lines of "Imagine if (insert name of ex she doesn't like here) were doing this with me. How would you feel about it?" And such.

And to answer the question, I am somewhat on the fence here. I feel like it is the person in the relationship's job to know the boundaries of what is acceptable to their partner and to make sure, especially when their partner isn't around, to abide by those boundaries.

I think of it in the way that, men especially, are going to try to do anything they can to get any girl they find attractive or whatnot, into bed, or at least into their "orbit." Can't fault a guy for being attracted to your woman and making advances on her, but you can certainly fault her for not immediately recognizing those advances and either gracefully sidestepping them, or flat out telling the guy to fuck off. Although, beating up someone who is pushing up on your old lady a little too hard/often can be pretty fun, too.

I can only agree with what is said above :dito::yesyes:

 

[C.K. Lawrence]

Have you tried eating his face?

 

[STDiva]

Have you tried eating his face?

I'm waiting until he has a 3 month old child.

 

[C.K. Lawrence]

Here. Share it with Andro.
http://www.wakeupnaturally.com/Westchester-Putnam-NY/May-2012/Tips-for-Taming-Killer-Stress/

 

[vodkazvictim]

I was bullied at school.

We feel for you...

 

[bobjustbob]

How long have you known her?

 

[bobjustbob]

And how long have you been dating? Sorry for double post.

 

[SpexyAshleigh]

I wouldn't let myself become interested in someone who's in a relationship. Period. If a guy has a gf, he's off limits to me and I get that. I'm not delusional enough to think I have a shot and anyone who actually does that is either a huge moron, or just a douche.

For the situation you're in, if you feel this person is getting to involved with your girl, say so. Lay down what you need to happen, if she doesn't tell the guy to back off then you either have to deal with it, or move on. Its as simple as that. If she cares about you, then she'll realize this dickwad isn't worth jeopardizing your relationship for. And if you're being honest when you say you have total legitimate reason to be upset over it, then she needs to see that and if she doesn't, thats her problem and not yours.

 

[RichardNailder]

Ah hell, I'd fuck the girl from under anyone - may the better man win!

That's why Gabe won't bring any of his girlfriends by anymore - I imagine it's pretty embarrassing when you ex tells you the old man is a better fuck.

 

[TheSpokenWheel]

Ah hell, I'd fuck the girl from under anyone - may the better man win!

That's why Gabe won't bring any of his girlfriends by anymore - I imagine it's pretty embarrassing when you ex tells you the old man is a better fuck.

You sir, are delightfully weird.

 

[RichardNailder]

You sir, are delightfully weird.

Thank you (I think), that's the nicest anyone's ever put it.

 

[TheSpokenWheel]

Thank you (I think), that's the nicest anyone's ever put it.

your welcome (I think)

 

[Red Spyder]

I wouldn't let myself become interested in someone who's in a relationship. Period. If a guy has a gf, he's off limits to me and I get that. I'm not delusional enough to think I have a shot and anyone who actually does that is either a huge moron, or just a douche.

I wish all women thought like that. I've been in a couple situations where the women I've been wooing have been obsessed with married men, so I stop wooing them since I see it's a waste of time, the married guys end up using them, getting them pregnant, and then dropping them like a 200 lb maggot........and that's when they realize "oh, [spyder] is such a nice guy. He wouldn't have left me like that", next thing I know, they're emailing me or calling me, but hey, if they rejected me once, that was their one and only chance because I just can't trust them after that and for me, a relationship is all about trust. Communication is important but so is trust. Like in this guy's case, if he can't trust her that she won't have sex with the other guy then it's time to put the cards on the table and let her know that her relationship with that guy is making you trust her less and less every day.

 

[Supafly]

I read the first post, and I have some questions:

Can I assume that he got to know her because she came to your place of work and later he saw the both of you together?

And, as you say he texts her, he has her cellphone number?

So she gave it to this complete stranger?

And then he starts and keeps sending her text messages with amorous contents?

And she does not tell him to stop this right then and there?

Okay, here is my advice:

You don't have to take measures right away. She has to. She hands out her phone number, she got active, initiating possible situations outside your relationship.

Tell she has to end the contact with him immediately. If he does not stop after that, tell her to get a new phone number. She started the mess you are in, it's her duty to fix that.

She won't do that, end of relationship, you can't trust her.

 

[xfire]

I've only been in one relationship that I haven't been cheated on. She's my current. I don't worry about her cheating because I've had it happen to me so often that I just quit giving a shit. I know how to handle a cheating girlfriend- dump her ass, just do it nicely. I've maintained casual sex relationships with ex-girlfriends simply because I didn't go ape-shit when they either confessed or got caught cheating. I figured if they would cheat on me, they would cheat on the next guy. And most of them did. With me. But I would never take a cheater back.

My attitude is not to worry about it. What you really have to do is define what cheating means to you. If she's being too chummy for your tastes tell her to get the fuck out and figure out what she really wants out of life. Don't be a co-dependent pussy. Cheaters always reveal themselves, you just have to have the guts to look for it and then deal with it.