Serious question re: lady. Advice needed.

[titsrock]

Short of that, if you haven't ever socialized with her before you might want to casually ask her if she'd like to meet sometime for lunch or coffee. Once you've got her out in that kind of environment you'll probably be better able to judge whether she'd be amenable to anything more.

Coffee is the best approach nowadays in the office. Bodie is absolutely correct about using coffee to judge whether she's into you.

I'll never forget the first time I asked a co-worker to Starbucks, we found a couple of the nice, comfy chairs to sit down at and that's when she immediately dropped to her knees before me, unzipped my fly and commenced to give me the grandest co-worker hummer ever:lovecoupl Maybe she needed a little more foam for her latte?:dunno:

I've prefected the coffee approach actually. If there's a chicky I have my eye on, I'll say something like, "I think I'm gonna run out for a coffee. I'm kinda draggin' this afternoon. Want me to bring you back something?" If she says "No" 3 straight times, most likely she wants you to leave her alone. Start with the "bring back approach" then move to the "Hey, you want to hit Starbucks/Whatever"....

The office is a place where CAUTION is the best approach. We all want to bend over our co-workers and bosses over their desks, but that usually results in harrassment lawsuits and firings..:dunno:

 

[prof_porn]

^

Classic.

Its been a tough time for me on that front man.

 

[bodie54]

I'll never forget the first time I asked a co-worker to Starbucks, we found a couple of the nice, comfy chairs to sit down at and that's when she immediately dropped to her knees before me, unzipped my fly and commenced to give me the grandest co-worker hummer ever:lovecoupl Maybe she needed a little more foam for her latte?:dunno:

:1orglaugh

The office is a place where CAUTION is the best approach. We all want to bend over our co-workers and bosses over their desks, but that usually results in harrassment lawsuits and firings..:dunno:

Yes but he doesn't work with her anymore. She's his ex-boss.

 

[joeblob777]

If you asked her out mate, the worst that could happen is she'd say no. but she would still be flattered and she would probably give you a reference anyway.

 

[hedonis]

I think it may be more then wanting to get my tool polished.

Be sure to use some of that^ smooth dialog on her... :hatsoff:

 

[No_Man]

No jokes, no silly answers please.

Basically, I adore my old boss. She is pretty much the same age as me (I am a year older), but she was my boss. I need her for references etc. We get on ok, sorta friends, but not 'close friends'.

There's the odd call, how are you?, type call.

Anyway, I adore her. She's smart, beautiful funny. I just want to tell her I want to be more then friends, to be a couple. If I say that, she may take offence/dislike the approach and then I'd **** up my references etc, which I need to be good.

HELP!

If you had a clean file under her supervision/employment, you should have nothing to worry about. Providing a poor reference because of personal offense outside of the workplace - particularly after the employment had already ended - would be a clear case of defamation and highly illegal. If she's been a supervisor/employer for any length of time, she'll know this and steer clear of it. So the worst you might do is bring what would otherwise be a "glowing" reference down to normal reference.

That said, if you had significant job performance issues and were hoping she would gloss over them in a reference because she was your friend... then you might want to avoid muddying the waters.

 

[calpoon]

Ok first of all are you listing her as a reference or just as your former supervisor? references are people that you know personally that vouch for what a great guy you are and they don 't necessarily need to be someone you worked with. I always just lie and put down my friends and say that I worked with them and they know what to say too.

On the other hand, a supervisor listing under your employment information is just so that they can talk to someone you worked with and make sure that you did in fact work there. usually it's meaningless because if it was a job you had years ago, the person you worked under probably doesn't even work there anymore either. They can't say anything about you, other than that you worked there and if they'd consider hiring you again. If you weren't fired, then they will say yes.

oh yeah, and if you really think that they don't like you, just say that someone else in a position above you was your supervisor. They don't fucking kn ow who does what, and that person will not say, "I've never heard of him." He'll say what I just said. My old GM didn't like me, so I just put down one of the asst. mgr's that was cool with me.

Did you say that you have talked to her on the phone outside of work? If so, then you allready have your foot in the door. She will either be into you, or at least not offended by you asking her out, so long as you don't make a complete asshole of yourself.

 

[Hot Mega]

Ok first of all are you listing her as a reference or just as your former supervisor? references are people that you know personally that vouch for what a great guy you are and they don 't necessarily need to be someone you worked with. I always just lie and put down my friends and say that I worked with them and they know what to say too.

On the other hand, a supervisor listing under your employment information is just so that they can talk to someone you worked with and make sure that you did in fact work there. usually it's meaningless because if it was a job you had years ago, the person you worked under probably doesn't even work there anymore either. They can't say anything about you, other than that you worked there and if they'd consider hiring you again. If you weren't fired, then they will say yes.

True. While there are personal references and professional references, former employers are usually limited to the facts and not opinions (employment history, job title, eligibility for for rehire, etc.). Good points. The ref issue is fairly moot in this case.

 

[saigonsam]

You can't go wrong with what Jagger69 said you have a good job a great boss just keep it professional and if she feels the same go for the home run and ask her out.:thumbsup:

Sometimes infatuations are not all we hope them to be. Keep looking, but don't necessarily expect her to be the one.

 

[titsrock]

Yes but he doesn't work with her anymore. She's his ex-boss.

:o Shit. I glanced over that. I thought it was a present boss who he wanted to use as a *future* reference.:o

Mr. OP--where is the problem here? You don't work for her anymore. If you're presently unemployed, secure your next job before you move in for the "tool polishing":glugglug:

If you have already moved on to your next job and you still want to pursue "tool polishing" then what's the problem?:dunno: You have new bosses at your new place of work to get that reference....

Most importantly, however, is what kind of rack does this former lady boss have?

 

[prof_porn]

real gorgeous body. full hips, small waist, plump little ass.

 

[Member2019]

Dude ...

If you don't work for her any more, time to ask her out. Be forward, honestly, don't candy coat it. Most professionals recognize that they, legally, have to separate their personal feelings from professional, when it comes to references.

It would be different if you still worked for her, as it's a potential liability as a supervisor to employee. But now? Dude, what are you waiting for? You should go for it. Be nice, courteous, and tell her how you feel.

Also remember not to over-emphasize how beautiful she was when you were working for her. Remember to complement her professional skills, and let her know that while her beauty could be a distraction, you kept it on-the-level and really came to respect her professionalism, regardless of her beauty.

Now that you're outside of that responsibility and professional relationship of a direct report (you formerly reporting to her directly), you'd like to have more of a personal one. Because you can now enjoy the beauty as well. If not, then you're more than capable of keeping the professional relationship as is.

 

[ChefChiTown]

No jokes, no silly answers please.

Basically, I adore my old boss. She is pretty much the same age as me (I am a year older), but she was my boss. I need her for references etc. We get on ok, sorta friends, but not 'close friends'.

There's the odd call, how are you?, type call.

Anyway, I adore her. She's smart, beautiful funny. I just want to tell her I want to be more then friends, to be a couple. If I say that, she may take offence/dislike the approach and then I'd **** up my references etc, which I need to be good.

HELP!

The key phrase in all of this is...

We get on ok, sorta friends, but not 'close friends'.

First of all, you are "SORTA" friends. Secondly, you even put "close friends" in quotation marks, which screeeeeams, "We're not really that close at all". Sooooo, just forget about the thought of having a relationship with this woman. Not only is she your former boss (who can severely fuck up your professional life if things don't work out), but she is also someone that you're not even all that close to to begin with.