I don't know why this is bothering me- I know it might sound childish. I worked next to a Serbian woman at work (Sue) - she is 25 very pretty. For 8 months we would have light-hearted conversations, take breaks together, and we could *** around and not take offense to anything. Another woman works in the same cube- Serbian as well (Nikki). So they would have stretches where they would talk their language. Not a problem with me. Although I heard that proper workplace etiquette states you are not to speak a foreign language when English is the primary one spoken. I was having a hard day- and one day these two were going off in Serbian- and I jokingly went up to another coworker and said- "aren' t they overdoing it on the Serbian??" ha ha ha.....totally in JEST. Somehow it got up to upper mgmt- and those two were brought in to the boss's office- and were told not to speak it. The problem is my name was brought up, stating that I was the one that complained. Total BS. Never the case- but the two confronted me about it. I was totally embarassed. I cannot believe it went up the chain. I tried to explain it to them, but I don't think Sue bought it. She probably looks at me as a back-stabber, and hasn't talked to me for a month. Nikki is totally fine with my explanation and its like nothing ever happened. It's very awkward with Sue. Now she has left the dept- and doesn't sit next to me anymore- but when I see her in the halls she doesn't even make eye contact. Is it this Serbian stubbornness ("inat") that they talk about- that is causing her to be like this?. I feel so bad- I never complained about her language, I am so anti office-gossip..how come Nikki is fine with it, and Sue isn't. I respect all cultures. Should I try to talk to her again, or am I toast in her eyes? I want to be friends still. Will it be hard for her to change her opinion of me?
Serbian Stubbornness
- Thread starter howie789
- Start date
First, why did you post this in the Political section? I don't care or mind, but you screwed yourself in the quantity and quality of the advice you're going to get. You might want to PM a mod to move this into General Population.
Explain this to Sue again. Rehearse if you need to but tell her what actually happened from your perspective, the way you did it here. Tell her that this new situation between you two is bothering you and you want to go back to how it used to be. If you have to, drop a dime on the coworker you joked to and tell her that it was him/her that must have complained.
Also take responsibility that you fucked up. The are a lot of nationalities/cultures that are fiercely proud. Serbs are just one of them. I remember correcting my idiot ****** once when she referred to my then-girlfriend as Italian. I told her Marie was Sicilian, and then embarked on a fruitless 10 minutes trying to explain that, yes there is a difference (how my ****** has made to almost 60 without getting stabbed by someone is a mystery for the ages). In the future be very careful about nationality/culture/religion. Hell, I almost got into it with a Canadian once, and my ****** was born and raised in British Columbia. People from the Balkans tend to be pretty touchy. As you have found out, even off-hand humor can spiral out of control.
Explain this to Sue again. Rehearse if you need to but tell her what actually happened from your perspective, the way you did it here. Tell her that this new situation between you two is bothering you and you want to go back to how it used to be. If you have to, drop a dime on the coworker you joked to and tell her that it was him/her that must have complained.
Also take responsibility that you fucked up. The are a lot of nationalities/cultures that are fiercely proud. Serbs are just one of them. I remember correcting my idiot ****** once when she referred to my then-girlfriend as Italian. I told her Marie was Sicilian, and then embarked on a fruitless 10 minutes trying to explain that, yes there is a difference (how my ****** has made to almost 60 without getting stabbed by someone is a mystery for the ages). In the future be very careful about nationality/culture/religion. Hell, I almost got into it with a Canadian once, and my ****** was born and raised in British Columbia. People from the Balkans tend to be pretty touchy. As you have found out, even off-hand humor can spiral out of control.
tartanterrier
Is somewhere outhere.
I'm sure if you sincerely apologize,then that will do.Who knows if you offer to take her out for a *****,you might get a little
bit more,or even a step forward from where you were before.
So you might as well just go for it now.At least then you'll know where you really stand with her.
bit more,or even a step forward from where you were before.
So you might as well just go for it now.At least then you'll know where you really stand with her.
My opinion, since I know several and from visiting a couple of times as well. Yes they are proud and stubborn and there's nothing wrong with that. Complaining when two people talk between them in their own language? That's... no comment.
And mjk39 to stay away from them? Now I can see how can stereotypes make people... again, no comment. Meanwhile you have maniacs in USA (where they speak "polite" English) shooting 20 ********. Go figure.
Btw, I'm not Serbian.
And mjk39 to stay away from them? Now I can see how can stereotypes make people... again, no comment. Meanwhile you have maniacs in USA (where they speak "polite" English) shooting 20 ********. Go figure.
Btw, I'm not Serbian.
