self blowjob

[vanderkar]

1. how can you give yourself a blowjob.
2. what stretches can you do to get there.

 

[SpexyAshleigh]

just have a dude suck your weiner and save yourself all that hard work.

 

[AriaSage]

i had a boyfriend who could do it, but he says it feels more like you have a cock in your mouth than getting a blowjob.

 

[GregCentauro]

*impatiently waits for the 'self titfuck' thread*

 

[Big Poppa Pump]

 

[Icewater Jones]

just have a dude suck your weiner and save yourself all that hard work.

^^^^^^^^^^This and this.^^^^^^^^^^

 

[biomech]

i had a boyfriend who could do it, but he says it feels more like you have a cock in your mouth than getting a blowjob.

:1orglaugh

 

[LukeEl]

1. how can you give yourself a blowjob.
2. what stretches can you do to get there.

Well I run an ******* medical practice in my condo's crawlspace and can remove several of your ribs so you can do that. Now as for cooking your ribs I can either do Mongolian, Korean, or Kansas City BBQ style!

 

[TargetJoker]

ewwww why would you want to?

just get some hot blonde to go down on ya! *oh dang now I fancy a hot blonde chick*

 

[LaLiLuLeLohan]

just have a dude suck your weiner and save yourself all that hard work.

HA!:rofl:

 

[CadillacD]

i had a boyfriend who could do it, but he says it feels more like you have a cock in your mouth than getting a blowjob.

lmao!

 

[BlueBalls]

Cut your cock off.

 

[CadillacD]

1. how can you give yourself a blowjob.
2. what stretches can you do to get there.

I think you may be repressing some feelings! You ask about ass fucking yourself and if that is considered gay…now sucking your own cock??? Dude, throw a party, invite all of your friends, have plenty of chips and dip, and play lots of techno music…YOUR GAY!

 

[roronoa3000]

Its called a vacuum cleaner, try one.

 

[PlasmaTwa2]

Cut your cock off.

If he cuts his cock off, then it is no longer a part of him.

Don't listen to him. You have to cut your cock off and then reattach it somewhere closer to your mouth. Like on your shoulder.

 

[turtle825]

 

[lurkingdirk]

If he cuts his cock off, then it is no longer a part of him.

Don't listen to him. You have to cut your cock off and then reattach it somewhere closer to your mouth. Like on your shoulder.

This is fucking genius!

Could you also design a few shirts for me, in order to highlight my newly placed penis, yet keep things decent. I'm thinking an extra sleeve with an extra long cuff?

 

[BlueBalls]

If he cuts his cock off, then it is no longer a part of him.

Don't listen to him. You have to cut your cock off and then reattach it somewhere closer to your mouth. Like on your shoulder.

It really depends on how fast you decide to suck on it. I mean yeah if you leave it on the kitchen table to fester for 9 hours while you try to stop the ******** then you're definitely going to be sucking on nothing more than a hardened piece of now rotting flesh. But, if he does it right away as soon as it comes free in his hand there still might be a few synapses firing that'll - somehow - psychogenically produce the necessary orgasm into the now profusely ******** groinal area.

Of course, he will probably ***** to death, but these things can be worried about afterwards.

Just remember to use a lot of tongue action and you should be golden. :thumbsup:

 

[Shifty]

i had a boyfriend who could do it, but he says it feels more like you have a cock in your mouth than getting a blowjob.

One could assume that he'd received at least one blowjob before. So ...

 

[lurkingdirk]

Just remember to use a lot of tongue action and you should be golden. :thumbsup:

You always do that. It's the gentle tooth action. That's what gets us going, man.

Sorry if that hurts you. I know I criticised your technique.