Rules For Men

[ckjedi66]

Women, learn to work the toilet seat. You're a big girl. If it's up, put it down. We need it up, you need it down. You don't hear us complaining about you leaving it down.

Birthdays, Valentines, and Anniversaries are not considered by us to be opportunities to see if we can find the perfect present again!

Sometimes we are not thinking about you. Live with it.

Sunday = sports. It's like the full moon or the changing of the tides. Let it be.

Don't cut your hair. Ever. Long hair is always more attractive than short hair. One of the big reasons guys fear getting married is that married women always cut their hair, and by then you're stuck with her.

Ask for what you want. Subtle hints do not work! Strong hints do not work! Obvious hints do not work! Just say it!

We don't remember dates. . . .Period!!

Most guys own three pairs of shoes - tops. What makes you think we'd be any good at choosing which pair, out of thirty, would look good with your dress?

Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question.

Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That's what we do. Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.

A headache that lasts for 17 months is a problem. See a doctor.

Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument. In fact, all comments become null and void after 7 days.

If you won't dress like the Victoria's Secret girls, don't expect us to act like soap opera guys.

If you think you're fat, you probably are. Don't ask us. We've been tricked before!!

If something we said can be interpreted two ways, and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one.

Let us ogle. We are going to look anyway; it's genetic.

You can either ask us to do something or tell us how you want it done. Not both. If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself.

Whenever possible, please say whatever you have to say during commercials.

Christopher Columbus did not need directions, and neither do we.

The relationship is never going to be like it was the first two months we were going out. Get over it. And quit whining to your girlfriends.

ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings. Peach, for example, is a fruit, not a color. Pumpkin is also a fruit. We have no idea what mauve is.

If it itches, it will be scratched. We do that.

We are not mind readers and we never will be. Our lack of mind-reading ability is not proof of how little we care about you.

If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing", we will act like nothing's wrong. We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle.

If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, expect an answer you don't want to hear.

Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss such topics as navel lint, the shotgun formation, or ******* trucks.

Foreign films are best left to foreigners. (Unless it's Bruce Lee or some war flick where it doesn't really matter what they're saying anyway.)

**** is as exciting for us as handbags are for you.

Thank you for reading this, Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch tonight, but did you know, it's like camping.

 

[cabey]

Lol some very funny and true points there.:thumbsup:

 

[hedonis]

The only thing that ever bothers me about that stuff is what bunch of grunting, heaving, stupid cavemen it makes men look like. It's funny- definitely funny- and there are many of those that are so far beyond true, they should be etched in a stone outside man headquarters.

 

[member006]

Well, yeah... duh! Who didn't know those things? lol

LL

 

[darkwarrior3007]

Amen *******, Amen!

 

[sputnikgirl]

Well, I guess I'm the only one who finds this list stupid. Half of the little proverbs are blanket statements that don't even apply to me, or anyone else I know. If a man really believes most of these statments to be true, no wonder he has to look at porn, because no self-respecting woman would be in the picture. It's called respect. Aretha Franklin wrote a whole song about it, if anyone needs their memory refreshed.

 

[Manny460]

As a male, it does bother me that the list uses 'us' and 'we', as if it applies to all males. To me, many of the items are just tired stereotypes. Several of them don't apply to me at all. If that means I'm not following some of the 'rules for men', oh well.

 

[bigbadbrody]

this is funny, even though I do not agree with some of the statements

 

[Roughneck]

Heh! I actually find women with short hair very attractive

Good for a chuckle, that list...

cheers,
R. (older than dirt troglodyte)

 

[Torre82]

If a man really believes most of these statments to be true, no wonder he has to look at porn, because no self-respecting woman would be in the picture.

Hmm.

I for one don't like the list either. I find such things so stereotypical it's mindnumbing. But no more stereotypical than "if a man believes these things, no wonder he has to look at porn". Don't you know a zillion girls who believe half the crap on that list too?

^The best point on this page.^

As for respectable women.. there are plenty of girls it does/does not apply-to. I find that mature girls with a little age on them usually realize being easy-going and emotionally stable with less angst towards jokes and masculine traits have no problem with self-respect. But hey, I didnt wanna lift your *blanket* statement about girls with respect issues.

 

[Calm]

And as for "no wonder he HAS to look at porn" Hello? We're not a bunch of overweight guys who can't get a date. The Net is full of people who don't venture outside their room but this board is surprisingly populated by a lot of characters who actually do. I'm willing to bet the majority of men look at porn because they *want to* - because they *like it*. Not because they *have to*. There are enough married men (DD etc), men in relationships (Dr D etc), or men who get plenty of dates (Dave Rhino etc) around these parts to surely put that stereotype to bed. Sorry but that subtle put down of men who watch porn jumped right off the page! Look where we are!

That's what they make you believe. In truth, Dave Rhine and Dr. Death are overweight 15 year old **** who have never seen a naked woman in real life.

Well, I guess I'm the only one who finds this list stupid. Half of the little proverbs are blanket statements that don't even apply to me, or anyone else I know. If a man really believes most of these statments to be true, no wonder he has to look at porn, because no self-respecting woman would be in the picture. It's called respect. Aretha Franklin wrote a whole song about it, if anyone needs their memory refreshed.

You're on a porn board, I don't think femminism has its place here. Go spread your propagenda in the BitchSlapping.com thread.

 

[sputnikgirl]

There are plenty of women who don't respect themselves out there. I for one don't like the list either. I find such things so stereotypical it's mindnumbing. But no more stereotypical than "if a man believes these things, no wonder he has to look at porn". Don't you know a zillion girls who believe half the crap on that list too? I do! Both genders believe in this crap, it's not a male-specific thing. Even all the magazines for both girls and boys tend to promote this sort of crap. We're not individuals, we're either the prototype male or the prototype female. Blurgh. But it's only supposed to be for fun anyway :1orglaugh

And as for "no wonder he HAS to look at porn" Hello? We're not a bunch of overweight guys who can't get a date. The Net is full of people who don't venture outside their room but this board is surprisingly populated by a lot of characters who actually do. I'm willing to bet the majority of men look at porn because they *want to* - because they *like it*. Not because they *have to*. There are enough married men (DD etc), men in relationships (Dr D etc), or men who get plenty of dates (Dave Rhino etc) around these parts to surely put that stereotype to bed. Sorry but that subtle put down of men who watch porn jumped right off the page! Look where we are!

I said "a man", specifically not to draw attention to anyone in particular. You are the one who is attempting to make it personal. I'm saying, if a man agrees with and verbalizes these statements, I don't know any self-respecting woman who wouldn't have a few choice words with the man in question. I like ckjedi a lot (and still do), but I believe this thread was in bad taste. This isn't a men-only or woman-only board, and until it becomes one or the other, I don't think woman-bashing or man-bashing threads should be allowed. There was an uproar on another thread tonight about racial stereotyping in a porn petition. To me, this thread is stereotyping women...but nobody has said anything about it except me. So I guess on a porn board it's not okay to have racial stereotyping, but it is okay to stereotype women???? :dunno:

 

[sputnikgirl]

You're on a porn board, I don't think femminism has its place here. Go spread your propagenda in the BitchSlapping.com thread.

Wow, more disrespect for women AND the women's movement. We're really on a roll this morning. I'm so glad I'm a female member. Wonder how many OCSMs are going to want to post here after reading that bullshit???

Feminism is closely linked to pornography. Porn stars have a right to be treated with respect, just like the female members of this board, thank you very much.

 

[Calm]

I said "a man", specifically not to draw attention to anyone in particular. You are the one who is attempting to make it personal. I'm saying, if a man agrees with and verbalizes these statements, I don't know any self-respecting woman who wouldn't have a few choice words with the man in question. I like ckjedi a lot (and still do), but I believe this thread was in bad taste. This isn't a men-only or woman-only board, and until it becomes one or the other, I don't think woman-bashing or man-bashing threads should be allowed. There was an uproar on another thread tonight about racial stereotyping in a porn petition. To me, this thread is stereotyping women...but nobody has said anything about it except me. So I guess on a porn board it's not okay to have racial stereotyping, but it is okay to stereotype women???? :dunno:

This thread stereotypes men as well. It presents us as dumb men who has no idea what his girl is thinking or feeling and that they don't care either. Guys don't get hints, guys watch sports, guys don't know fasion, guys don't care about special events (bdays etc), guys scratch themselves and I can go on and on. Every single sentence in the first post can be offensive towards guys and stereotypical, if you look at it that way. Or, you can get the stick out of your ass and laugh about it.

P.S.

don't take the nature of my last 2 posts as a personal offense against you, it's not.

 

[Roughneck]

sputnikgirl,

With all due respects - I believe this thread was an attempt at humor.

Most humor, in one way or another, can be perceived as offensive to one grouping of humans or another.

I'm not speaking up for ckjedi - but I doubt his intention at creating this thread was to put down women.


Most of the things listed are generalizations with intent to be humorous. In fact, it spawned it's very own "Rules for women" which goes:

1. Never do housework. No man ever made love to a woman because the house was spotless.
2. Don't imagine you can change a man - unless he's in diapers.
3. What do you do if your boyfriend walks out? You shut the door.
4. So many men - so many reasons not to sleep with any of them.
5. If they put a man on the moon, they should be able to put the mall there.
6. Tell him you're not his type - you have a pulse.
7. Never let your man's mind wander. It's too little to be let out alone.
8. The only reason men are on this planet is that vibrators can't dance or buy drinks.
9. Never sleep with a man who's named his penis.
10. Go for younger men. You might as well. They never mature anyway.
11. A man who can dress himself without looking like Forrest Gump is unquestionably gay.
12. Definition of a bachelor: a man who has missed the opportunity to make some woman miserable.
13. Women don't make fools of men. Most of them are the do-it-yourself types.
14. The best way to get a man to do something is to suggest they are too old for it.
15. Love is blind, but marriage is a real eye-opener.
16. If you want a committed man, look in a mental hospital.
17. The ******** of Israel wandered around the desert for 40 years. Even in biblical times, men wouldn't ask for directions.
18. If he asks what sort of books you're interested in, tell him checkbooks.
19. A man's idea of serious commitment is usually "Oh all right, I'll stay the night."


cheers,

 

[sputnikgirl]

P.S.

don't take the nature of my last 2 posts as a personal offense against you, it's not.

Considering you used the word "you", I believe it was a personal ******. You know, I may or may not come back here. After the way I've been treated by you this morning, plus the disrespect I've received from people in pms...telling me to slit my own wrists, telling me that I should die, and threatening to come to my home, etc...I'm sick of this crap. If I forwarded some of the pms I've received to every OCSM, I doubt most of them would want to be active members here either. Some people on this board need to learn some respect for women, or else there won't be any female members left.

 

[dave_rhino]

So when a list is made about stereotypical women, people get offended and say how stupid it is.

Yet when a list is made about stereotypical men... It's all ok? Oooh, i get it now.

 

[slowhand]

I might have to write them down lol.

 

[member006]

Considering you used the word "you", I believe it was a personal ******. You know, I may or may not come back here. After the way I've been treated by you this morning, plus the disrespect I've received from people in pms...telling me to slit my own wrists, telling me that I should die, and threatening to come to my home, etc...I'm sick of this crap. If I forwarded some of the pms I've received to every OCSM, I doubt most of them would want to be active members here either. Some people on this board need to learn some respect for women, or else there won't be any female members left.

If you get PM's like that, by all means just forward them to BNF. Nobody should be talked to like that and threats are not allowed anywhere on the Internet. I know they aren't allowed here. I have received quite a few nasty ones myself. To blame the whole board though I feel is a bit much. Nobody should strike out against everyone for the actions of a few.

So when a list is made about stereotypical women, people get offended and say how stupid it is.

Yet when a list is made about stereotypical men... It's all ok? Oooh, i get it now.

First double standard is usually male to woman. lmao Also please do not include me in this statement. I find great humor in the ones about women, rednecks etc. A joke is a joke, its meant to make us smile and often even laugh out loud.

Apparently I missed something? I took the thread as a another "humorous" list . Why in the hell did it take such a turn? Seems everyone is loosing their sense of humor here lately. I can't believe something this simple turned into a serious disagreement. *shakes head*

I wonder how long before someone says its all because Bush made it that way and the Mexicans or Italians have been degraded because this list was posted.

Unfrigging believable.

LL

 

[AFA]

This looks to me like the kind of email I get everyday that makes fun of male or female stereotypes. I don't have a problem with it. I don't find it offensive, and I don't think the original thread was opened to be an insult to anyone. Like the cavemen in the GEICO commercial, I also think that political correctness, (I **** that expression, it somehow has replaced common sense), has run amok, and everyone is always looking for how they might be offended. That's very sad to me, and explains a lot about why people don't get along very well in this world.

For the moment this thread stays open. Can't we all just get along?