Ridiculous Porn Names

A Brazzers female model/actress that currently goes by the name of Premium Link Upgrade .

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Her business agent needs to be fired. What a God awful stage name for a female pornstar. A very confusing first name with "Dan" as the stage name. My first instinct is that she is a male pornstar ... that last name needs to be changed too. Sounds too much like Mark Wahlberg's character of Eddie Adams in Boogie Nights (1997) Dirk Diggler .
 
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Gogo Fukme
Van Damage
Anna Malle < rest in peace
Shaundam Von Smakavitz
 
I assume Porsche Lynn got her name when someone heard "Portia"-hey, close enough. Lexus, however-I don't get it. Why not Maserati?

Maserati XXX debuted in 2011, same year this thread was started, didn't have to wait long. She's got great tits.

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All mentioned are ridiculous, however quite funny. Premium Link Upgrade on the other hand is not funny at all, it sounds like a fucking medical condition.

"Came back from the doctors today... Apparently I've got Premium Link Upgrade ..."

That's definitely a head-scratcher, but she's also got fantastic tits.
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I remember reading some years ago that a gap between the front teeth is considered a desirable trait in some countries in Africa. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ Thanks for super-imposing Michael Strahan's face on her, tho.

:ROFLMAO:
 
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I don't wanna blast any up and cummer's aliases, but whenever I'm scanning names on a board, I instinctivley bypass anything like Stacy Sukalot or Madame Muffmuncher...or any "model" who uses eighteen different names. If a name sounds even passably legit, I'll check it out. My experience in analyzing the effectiveness of this is that in the overwhelming majority of cases, I miss a lot more bullshit than I miss hot girls. I've discovered more previously unknown babes who use decent or actual names than I've stumbled onto by clicking on Vanity Vagina or Deanne Does Deepthroat.
 
I forget where I saw it, but it was obnoxiously true:
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First name:
Choose a ****, flower, overused beverly hills/valley girl name, precious stone, stereotypical ethnic group or biblical name.
E.g: Sativa, Rose, Jenna, Sarah/Jesus.

Last name:
Choose a color, overused ********* name, precious stone or stereotypical ethnic group and switch an I with a Y to make it obnoxious.

White, Jolie, Thai/Chyna.

There ya go, a generic and craptastic pornstar name. NO PORNSTAR ESCAPES THE CLICHE`!

Acid Black, Lavender Manson, India Dyamond, Sarah Trump, Brazil Sapphyre, etc
 
perhaps it's his real name but then again ...

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