Random Statement Thread II

[The Yak]

Yogurt is unicorn semen.

 

[The Yak]

Everything you eat has been in the mail.

 

[The Yak]

I find I am comforted when a medication I am prescribed lists diarrhea as one of the side effects because that tells me it is a real ****. I think diarrhea is a good line of demarcation between a serious **** versus something that isn't doing all that much. If a **** only causes side effects like dry mouth or something that is only slightly inconvenient, it feels like it is not really doing anything. Diarrhea is serious enough that the **** is real without being so debilitating that the solution is worse than the illness.

 

[Bonezstorm]

When I was young I always struggled to find a job and a woman that I love to raise a ****** and live happily together. But now that I'm in my mid 30's I can finally say: I don't give a damn.

 

[The Yak]

Until the 1950s, Norway's economy was based largely on fishing.

 

[The Yak]

How has there never been a pornstar named Amber Alert? Missed opportunity.

 

[The Yak]

You don't think I could afford a $1,500 jacket?

 

[The Yak]

Anchor on the evening news: Christmas came early this year for some first graders in Burlington and I came on my wife's face recently.

I bet more people would watch.

 

[The Yak]

Much of a chef's life is revenge *******.

 

[legmann61]

Don’t trust atoms. They make up everything.

 

[Supafly]

Yesterday I baked some bread myself successfully first time for a long long time.

In 2022, I made three catastrophic attempts.

 

[The Yak]

Names for other people's cats: Nurple, Megaphone, Princess Rosie.

 

[The Yak]

Charm is the viscous grease with which he oils his flim-flam machine.

 

[Bonezstorm]

Why are you geh?!11!!

 

[The Yak]

At my job, a long-time employee was suddenly terminated. Management will not go into details why, they will only state that she is no longer a member of the team (which is self-evident). She was a good team member and will be missed. In her honor, this morning I masturbated to videos which xHamster categorized under the heading Ebony MILFs because I think that is what she would have wanted. Therefore, please join me in raising a glass to [name redacted], she was an ebony MILF in every sense of the term.

 

[Torre82]

When they tell you "break a leg", it's cause they want you.. in the cast. (Actors, cast, etc)
So by extension, it works for job interviews, sports, etc

 

[Torre82]

\be on 4ch
\browsing high resolution photos
\find that girl from last of us tv show
Comment is:
I want to mash that little potato

.... She is 19? I mean..
\scratches head
I can't unsee it. That comment. Now she is a 19 y.o. potato.

 

[Torre82]

"we can't all be neurotypical, Karen."

 

[Torre82]

***** mode

 

[Torre82]

\walks to car
Please don't break the window
Three a\c is on
And he is listening to his favorite music.
\looks at dog behind the note

Well okay.