New Alert Levels!!!....

This from a mate in the UK...............

Even the British are feeling the pinch in relation to recent bombings, the alert level has just been raised from 'MIFFED' to 'PEEVED'. Soon though, the levels may be raised yet again to 'IRRITATED' or even 'A BIT CROSS'.Londoners have not been a 'A BIT CROSS' since the blitz in 1940 when tea supplies ran out.Terrorists have been re categorised from 'TIRESOME' to a ****** NUISANCE', the last time a '****** NUISANCE' warning level was issued was during the great fire in 1666.

Be aware that the French government announced yesterday that it has raised its ****** alert level from 'RUN' to 'HIDE'. The only two higher levels in France are 'SURRENDER' and 'COLLABORATE'. The rise was precipitated by a recent fire that destroyed France's white flag factory, effectively paralysing their military capability.

The Italians have increased their alert level from 'SHOUT LOUDLY AND EXCITEDLY' to 'ELABORATE MILITARY POSTURING'. Two more levels remain...'INNEFECTIVE COMBAT RESPONSE' and 'CHANGE SIDES'.

The Germans also increased their alert from 'DISTAINFUL ARROGANCE' to 'DRESS IN UNIFORM AND SING MARCHING SONGS' They have two higher levels, 'INVADE A NEIGHBOUR' and 'LOOSE'

Seeing the reaction in continental Europe, the Americans have gone from 'ISOLATION' to 'FIND ANOTHER RICH OIL NATION IN THE MIDDLE EAST RIPE FOR REGEIME CHANGE'. Their remaining higher alert are "****** THE WORLD' and "BEG THE BRITISH FOR HELP'

Finally here in Great Britian we have gone from 'PRETEND NOTHING"S HAPPENING' to MAKE ANOTHER CUP OF TEA' Our higher levels are "REMAIN RESOLUTELY CHEERFUL' and 'MUSTN'T GRUMBLE'

The Australians were informed of the system of alerts but on discovering that they weren't going to be allowed to win every time, they took their bat and ball and went home.:rofl:
 

Premium Content

This thread contains exclusive content for our premium community members.

What you're missing:
  • Full discussion and replies
  • Community interaction and voting
Already have an account?
✨ Unlock exclusive discussions and premium features
Premium Benefits:
Exclusive content • Priority support • Advanced features • Full thread access
Top