To be honest neesa, being depressed/bipolar/impulsive and self destructive are not good reasons to be going back into the industry. Nor is a feeling that the lack of love and affection in your life right now for the real you, can be replaced by the attention you get when you're neesa. But it's your choice of course. I just hope that if you do it, you find a way of ensuring it's not as emotionally damaging as it seems it is. Be very careful!!
Its interesting that you say how you quit before when you met someone you liked, in order to be 'taken seriously'. You obviously didn't want to risk your main priority, which was the emotional support found in your new partner. That is after all, why we form relationships, for emotional support, not sex.
Also while I'm at it, rocker look guys in their 40s or 50's, are never sweet, smart, in shape, have good jobs. That's why they're rocker types!! And they're crap at emotional support too. Just a thought!
Someone with the emotional strength to support you, will not be so lacking in self confidence, that they need to become a "type" or 'image' that they can hide behind. Rocker type or whatever. They will be secure enough, just to ..... be.
There are plenty of guys in the world, millions of blokes and fellas, many boys, even some dudes. But there is a real shortage of Men.
Love yourself a little more, stop describing yourself as depressive/bipolar/impulsive, cos that implies that you think deep down that you are ill, or wrong. You're inteligent, caring, funny, political (which demonstrates a wider appreciation of the world, civic responsibility and social justice, a real rarity these days), you're university material, and best of all......... you like dogs.... Fab!
All of those things, by the way having nothing to do with your looks, so you are hereby proven to be immensely desireable and attactive, even without your good lucks.
And the concern about having done porn? Look at where the industry is going....
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Sensuality is the future. So your stuff will be seen in that light more and more.
Good luck in whatever you do, and stay safe!