Need advice; marriage or love

[banane18021802]

Dear all, I know that this is probably the wrong place but as I am only a member of 2 forums at want to give it a try. Maybe I can get some constructive input.

Here my story:
I m married, 2 small kids, and my relationship with my wife sucks. I fuck her only every 3 month, and only if she forces me to. When I fuck her I simulate cumming to end it soon.

2 years ago a met a girl, I really love her and I'm crazy about her. She is beautifull and we mutually enjoy being together. Sex is awesome, when we meet we fuck 6 or more times. I think of her all the time.
She is also married and has 2 kids as well. Smaller than mine...

We both wish to be together. but how? What shall we do? What you guys think?

I wish to leave my wife and be with her.... Anybody got an experience to share..

Thanks

 

[FreeOnes_Anders]

 

[squallumz]

think back to when you met your wife. providing this story is actually true.

do some soul searching and figure out of you still love her.


id also say get some counseling. also.. how does SHE feel about you?


also.. you have kids dude. wtf. this marriage is more than you and wifey. its about your kids now. when you have kids, you are no longer the most important person. you really cant do that to them.



ps. i peed in that popcorn, anders.

 

[banane18021802]

thanks for the advice. the story is true. my wife and me the relatioship sucks since long time. we hardly can stand each other.
kids are for sure the persons to think about, but thats why i do not know what to do. if no kids, i would have left her long time ago

 

[bobjustbob]

Gotta dump the new one now and make home work out. It's cheaper to keep her. Even though this fling lasted for 2 years, one of you will slip up and be discovered.

 

[DOA82]

You have forced sex once every 3 months and you've been having an affair for two years at the same time....

Don't be one of these losers who stays only for the kids, even if you go separate ways you could still be an active father. Having sex six times when you meet? That's the part I'm struggling to believe, but hey it's your story.

You don't mention anything about her plans to leave her husband, or what the condition of her marriage is. Either you stay and become a cliche or you make a move, whether it be with her or just get out on your own. I cannot stand people whose flimsy excuse is to stay in a shitty marriage only for kids.

Do what makes you happy but be aware there are going to be consequences but don't count on your sweetheart to be waiting on you.

 

[banane18021802]

With my 'affair' we are deeply in love. And yes, we enjoy sex like rabbits.

she has also a bad relatioship with her hubby. she tries hard not to sleep with him but still need once in a while. she does not love him, and it seems he knew about her having an affair... all difficult....

 

[bobjustbob]

This is so much reminding me of a story. A dude where I work is in the same situation. 2 people with kids involved in bad marriages. Great sex and all the support that the other partners can't provide. The woman's family moves 400 miles away. They stay in contact but getting together is next to impossible. A miserable situation for both.

The dude decides to transfer to a position down by her and not tell anyone about it. He packs his shit into his car and leaves the wife with a note. Dude shows up at the other woman's door. SURPRISE! Woman tells him to get the fuck out of there. Their shit is over. New town, new life. Dude was living in a motel till he could get a transfer back home. He thought he could talk the wife to move him back in but that was a big fat no. She started the divorce when she first got the note. Lost the wife and kids. Lost the girlfriend and any respect he ever had at his job.

Make decisions with your brain, not with your dick.

BobJustBob.

 

[PlasmaTwa2]

Murder the whore, cut off her face and put in on your wife. Then just tell your kids mommy got a facelift and problem solved.

Fuck.

 

[Mr. Hyde]

think back to when you met your wife. providing this story is actually true.

do some soul searching and figure out of you still love her.


id also say get some counseling. also.. how does SHE feel about you?


also.. you have kids dude. wtf. this marriage is more than you and wifey. its about your kids now. when you have kids, you are no longer the most important person. you really cant do that to them.



ps. i peed in that popcorn, anders.

This is solid advice, assuming the OP is not a bullshitter.

I'd only add that not only are you fucking things up for your kids, but for the other woman's family and kids as well. Stop thinking about just yourself and try working on your marriage instead.

 

[gunslingingbird]

Sometimes it's better for kids to see that their parents are divorced and happy than to see them together being miserable. In the long run it could also be a cause of resentment for everyone involved. You should have a serious talk with your wife, and see what each other's thoughts on the matter are. Communication and honesty are the two most important components of any relationship. Even if your marriage can't be saved (you made sure of that when you started having an affair) you should communicate with you wife.

 

[Johan]

I wish to leave my wife and be with her.... Anybody got an experience to share

Before you leave your wife, are you sure she would leave her husband as well ?
Also, are you sure this relationship would still be awesome once you would have both left your wife/husband ?

 

[Deepcover]

No offense but you and the chick you are fucking sound like a bunch of scumbags. Do yourself a favor...Stop acting like a scumbag, stop being a scumbag and tell your wife you are getting a divorce because you been fucking behind her back without her knowing ASAP! You sound like a major piece of work dude. The same thing goes to the scumbag girl you are banging.

 

[xfire]

You're dealing with an extremely volatile calculus where one wrong move could destroy the entire metric. You've got a somewhat stable, albeit unsatisfactory situation. If you deviate from what you're currently doing you could find yourself alone, broke, and wishing you had just stayed the current course. I would try to concentrate on the positives and leave well enough alone. If that's totally intolerable then deal with your wife, first, without any expectations from your married lover. Leave your wife for yourself, not for the other woman because she might not have the courage to leave her husband.

 

[Rey C.]

Although I've never been married, I've also never had a successful, long term relationship where we didn't eventually "grow apart". Even the relationship that I'm in now (for over two years) is finally beginning to show signs of strain. So I'm completely unqualified to give any sort of advice here. But one question I do have: do you or your wife have any idea of what's caused you to grow apart? Do you think it has anything to do with a change in family finances, physical appearance of either party, change in career or work schedule, etc.? I'm just curious because I've heard those are some off the typical reasons why people grow apart. I mean, people don't just all of a sudden stop liking/loving each other. So what do you think the root cause of the problem is between you and her? Maybe try relationship therapy, if you (and she) have a desire to make it work.

I'm far, far from being a prude. And even though I've led a rather shameful life, according to some (greed, avarice, etc.), I don't believe in or agree with cheating - never have. That's a prime way to go from not liking someone to bitter hatred and desires for vengeful acts. The way I see it, if your husband or wife can't trust you (and you said a vow before God to honor and love them), I certainly can't trust you. IMO, if you'll grab a quick, cheap thrill by cheating on your spouse, you'd certainly grab a quick, cheap thrill by stealing money from me or cheating me in a business deal. To me, it's just a character thing. But to each his own.

But back to my questions: how & why? :dunno:

 

[Red Spyder]

Why not play matchmaker? :dunno:

Set up your wife with her husband......

and then this will be all of us

 

[SpexyAshleigh]

Do your wife a HUGE favor and file for divorce. Make sure she gets some good financial support too, because she's fucking earned it. And then go be with your slut of a gf, you two deserve each other.

I'm sorry, but your infidelity makes you a douchebag, a horrible husband and a horrible father. It also makes you a horrible human being. Yes, marriages go through obstacles and you'll go through points where you can't stand each other, but thats not a free pass to dip your stick in another woman, and turn your back on your children. (no matter what you think, you ARE rejecting your kids if you reject your wife- you'll forever be the reason why your marriage ended, and your children won't ever respect you for doing their mom wrong) ...I'm the product of a father who had an affair, and I still, as an adult, will never EVER respect him as a person. If your marriage is broken, fix it. Don't run from it. And if its not fixable, then take care of the situation, divorce your wife, set up a new life for your wife and children to live in, and THEN move on to your next piece of ass. At least at the end of the day you'll know you did everything you could to provide a stable and loving home for your kids rather than one filled with lies. So my advice - stop thinking with your dick and think for your children and your future with them. All it takes is you getting caught once and your wife taking your kids from you because of it. Think about it, is your girlfriend worth losing your children and their respect? If the answer is yes, then you shouldn't be a father in the first place. :2 cents:

 

[alexpnz]

Do your wife a HUGE favor and file for divorce. Make sure she gets some good financial support too, because she's fucking earned it. And then go be with your slut of a gf, you two deserve each other.

I'm sorry, but your infidelity makes you a douchebag, a horrible husband and a horrible father. It also makes you a horrible human being. Yes, marriages go through obstacles and you'll go through points where you can't stand each other, but thats not a free pass to dip your stick in another woman, and turn your back on your children. (no matter what you think, you ARE rejecting your kids if you reject your wife- you'll forever be the reason why your marriage ended, and your children won't ever respect you for doing their mom wrong) ...I'm the product of a father who had an affair, and I still, as an adult, will never EVER respect him as a person. If your marriage is broken, fix it. Don't run from it. And if its not fixable, then take care of the situation, divorce your wife, set up a new life for your wife and children to live in, and THEN move on to your next piece of ass. At least at the end of the day you'll know you did everything you could to provide a stable and loving home for your kids rather than one filled with lies. So my advice - stop thinking with your dick and think for your children and your future with them. All it takes is you getting caught once and your wife taking your kids from you because of it. Think about it, is your girlfriend worth losing your children and their respect? If the answer is yes, then you shouldn't be a father in the first place. :2 cents:

You're a tough one, Spex.

 

[Deepcover]

Do your wife a HUGE favor and file for divorce. Make sure she gets some good financial support too, because she's fucking earned it. And then go be with your slut of a gf, you two deserve each other.

I'm sorry, but your infidelity makes you a douchebag, a horrible husband and a horrible father. It also makes you a horrible human being. Yes, marriages go through obstacles and you'll go through points where you can't stand each other, but thats not a free pass to dip your stick in another woman, and turn your back on your children. (no matter what you think, you ARE rejecting your kids if you reject your wife- you'll forever be the reason why your marriage ended, and your children won't ever respect you for doing their mom wrong) ...I'm the product of a father who had an affair, and I still, as an adult, will never EVER respect him as a person. If your marriage is broken, fix it. Don't run from it. And if its not fixable, then take care of the situation, divorce your wife, set up a new life for your wife and children to live in, and THEN move on to your next piece of ass. At least at the end of the day you'll know you did everything you could to provide a stable and loving home for your kids rather than one filled with lies. So my advice - stop thinking with your dick and think for your children and your future with them. All it takes is you getting caught once and your wife taking your kids from you because of it. Think about it, is your girlfriend worth losing your children and their respect? If the answer is yes, then you shouldn't be a father in the first place. :2 cents:

You hit the nail right on the head.

 

[Shifty]

Leave your wife.