My heart is breaking :(

[alexpnz]

It's very hard for a guy to forgive one of his "firsts", especially if she broke his heart (I know that sounds strange but...) And since you guys are relatively young, it's magnified cause they haven't been apart too long.

As sad as I am to say this, this will become a cancer in your relationship because even if she gives him a small window, he's gonna go fishing to see what he can get w/ her.....listen, it is what it is, either you tell him to Man Up and be a husband or give you guys some time apart....not necessarily a separation, but maybe a little more space.

Good luck, you are going either need it or have TREMENDOUS will.......
I Know from experience cause I WAS your husband and well lets just say I explored when given the chance.......again, Good Luck! :hatsoff:

 

[habo9]

When I finish with an ex or if they finish with me , thats it , kaput !!!!!

I delete there number , so Im not tempted when Im drunk and if they keep phoning , I change my number

Only sometimes do I stay friends and thats usually with girls Ive been friends with before I started seeing them.........

No offence but I dont think hes being completely honest but thats my view , I could be wrong but I dont fall for this big part of my life bullshit.......what that means to me is Im not really over them

 

[drf]

I am so sorry sweetie. I think you should talk to him, get everything out in the open because if you don't it will eat you up inside, worrying and wondering. In the long run I think that is the best option. I wish you the best. Take care, honey.

 

[gunslingingbird]

Earlier I tried to give a reply, but my piece of shit phone decided to take a shit in the middle of it and I couldn't finish. Now, I check back on this and see you've done exactly what I was gonna suggest. Anyway, just remember that communication is the key to any relationship. If there's something bothering you, you should always talk about it with your husband. Don't keep things bottled up because, in the long run, they'll just fester, and what originally was a passing, minor issue will gradually become a major breaking point. It's better to have a minor argument now than to have a major fight three years from now.

 

[STDiva]

Drink some Hennessey. It solves all life's problems.

 

[titsrock]

I don't know what to make of your post. How did you come across this email? Did you snoop around to find it? You say you cry a lot. His comment about life not being "unbearable" was probably some kind of lame attempt at humor to her. Him saying he wishes he never let her "slip away" might be troubling.

The other problem is you are so young; you both married early and you're in a foreign country now. You both basically have to be on the fast track to maturity. It's tough to be married.

You should not be crying in marriage over a fight or a disagreement. Is there something "bigger" going on? Is his duty coming to an end? Is he coming up for a promotion or something? You definitely need to talk to him. I realize we're getting part of a story only from you but I really don't know what (if anything) you've done wrong here and maybe he is having a problem somewhere.

Go out to dinner, get some great korean food and talk things over.

 

[J_Mags]

In general, I agree with Chef. I have some of those exes in my past too. The ones I just can't help but say, "What if...?" It's very normal, impossible to avoid, and fairly innocuous.

That said, this still concerns me a bit. Daydreaming every once in a while about "what-ifs" and e-mailing them an update about your life, marriage, and current feelings towards them are two VERY different things. I would never, EVER say those types of things to an ex I still had remnant feelings for, even if she contacted me first. I care about my marriage too much to take a risk like that.

So for me, the issue here is not that he feels a little regret about breaking up with her. That's natural and unavoidable. The issue is that he said so to her. He's asking for trouble, and I would talk to him about it.

This is pretty much EXACTLY what I think. He's reaching out to her, which is a bit of a problem in my eyes. It's just my :2 cents: though...

 

[DOA82]

So recently I saw a message my husband sent to his ex g/f. It was just a recap of the last year or so and in it he said that he loves his job and his home life isn't 'unbearable' so he really can't complain. He ended it by saying that he's sorry for hurting her and for letting her 'slip away'.
My immediate thought is I don't understand because I thought everything was okay.. I thought we were happy.. I mean we argue but nothing to really make me think something was wrong. I don't know what to do guys, I mean this chick is so unstable, she like cuts herself and wears all black clothes and is all gothic and shit, the total opposite of me. What do I do? Just ignore it and hope it gets better and he realizes that its not all that bad with me? I mean I love him but I'm so tired of getting hurt. I'm so fucking tired of crying. I'm not perfect but I try really hard to make him happy. Ugh sorry guys I didn't mean to rant im just really confused and I needed to vent. So what do youguys think I should do?

All I got from that whole post was noticing your a moderator, when the hell did that happen?

 

[Jack Davenport]

I really don't know what to say HSS except that I feel badly for you. You seem like a nice person.

All the best.

 

[PlasmaTwa2]

Sheesh, I wrote an entire post full of advice, only to find out that hissy already talked to him about it. :tongue:

You did the right thing by talking to him. It is better that you know the truth than to try and hide the fact you were looking through his e-mail.

 

[titsrock]

If hubby ain't appreciatin' the boobage he has at his disposal....than :ban: :thumbsup:

 

[Jack Davenport]

TitsRock

your sig gif is awesomeness.

You've been repped , now who is that chick?

 

[roronoa3000]

TitsRock

your sig gif is awesomeness.

You've been repped , now who is that chick?

Brandy Robbins.

 

[DJCowboy]

I just want to say that I'm here for you and I'm available and up for anything

 

[Facetious]

It was just a recap of the last year or so and in it he said that he loves his job and his home life isn't 'unbearable' so he really can't complain. He ended it by saying that he's sorry for hurting her and for letting her 'slip away'.

Are you, or were you previously generally easy going about your man keeping in contact with an ex g/f ? If so, You Might ask him why he typed something that didn't ''sound'' very enthusiastic about his home life at the time he sent this message.

I gather that he typed what he did simply to make his ex feel good about herself. Just ask though and see what kind of reaction you get.

I hope that it's nothing because you sure seem like a sweety to me !

 

[LukeEl]

Well it was pretty lame that he said that to his first ex. I thought you were his first true, anyway. I would be assertive and ask him if he is still living in the past. Get your point across to him. However you and your husband are in another country, this broad is back in the states. So do you honestly think you have anything to worry about. It's not like she lives in the same town as you guys. Like I mentioned before ask him if he still has feelings for his ex. And women are smart about when a guy is still hung up on his ex, so you'll know. Hang in there and everything will be fine.

 

[Namreg]

i am going to quote from JCVD, a movie in which jean-claude van damme has an ad-libbed monologue in which he talks about his life. well, it's not an exact quote, as the movie is in french, and it's been a while since i've seen it. so here goes:

"i've been married 4 times now. but when you divorce, does that mean that you suddenly stop loving the person you were married to? no, each of those women gave me something, and i love them all."

i think what he was trying to say is that the past never goes away, and memories are memories, no matter whet the present holds.

think about your own past, and think about what you have now; and if the "now" is better than the past, then you have made the right choice for yourself. and remember: there is no such thing as a grown up. we all go through this shit for the first time, and we all have self doubts and insecurities. life sucks for everybody, and you try to make the best of it. so my advice would be to talk it out, have a nice little fight, and see where you stand. and then take it from there. the alternative is being miserable, and why should you be miserable? only religious/political nutcases deserve that.

 

[Smallville417]

The comment about letting her slip away is very troubling to me, and I would be concerned. If my girlfriend knew I said that to another girl, she would leave me in an instant. I'm not saying to do that, I'm just saying you really need to have him be open and completely honest to you about his feelings, for you, and her.

 

[Big Poppa Pump]

Please remember that despite what you've heard about this girl, your husband CHOSE to marry you, not her. Bear that in mind and although it hurts like hell for him to be in contact with her, you are the one he goes home to.
Good luck HSS. :hatsoff:

 

[PirateKing]

Thats discouraging. Sounds like your husband needs to quit sulking and get over the past. He made a commitment to you and he shouldnt be going behind your back and sending love texts to his ex. Meh...I ain't gonna get worked up over it, but I have half a mind to go on a looong rant. All I'm going to say is that relationships are tough.

Actually I'm kinda angry so now I have to go on a rant. This just.....man this makes me mad. Y-You know what i changed my mind again i think I'll keep my mouth shut. That jerky jerk face...