I've been a metalhead for about 15 years now. And I don't mean I listen to Metallica, I like bands like Cannibal Corpse, Deicide, Carcass to name a few. The difference between me and the average metal head is that I don't need to look like a freak to enjoy the music, and I don't perform satanic rituals or believe that eating dead fetuses will give me powers.
It's just music. There's nothing in it to "believe." I just like energetic music and fast technical guitar work. It's not a lifestyle, or a philosophy, it's just sounds that you enjoy listening to. If I got it right and that is your problem, then I suggest you do some serious reconsidering of your life philosophy.