Killer Squirrels

maildude

Postal Paranoiac
It's no laughing matter. They're taking over, folks. :helpme:

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That's no ordinary rabbit squirrel.
That's the most foul, cruel, and bad-tempered rodent you ever set eyes on!
Look, that squirrel's got a vicious streak a mile wide! It's a killer!
He's got huge, sharp... er... He can leap about. Look at the bones!


That's pretty scary stuff. But I once saved a stranded baby squirrel and watched as her ****** carried her back up into their tree. I'm sure the word has been ****** around squirreldom that I'm a friend to the squirrels so I'm not worried.
 
It's in the Book of Revelations, one of the first signs of the "end of days".
 
Squirrels? Fucking vermin. They are rats that don't live in sewers. Disguised as fluffy creatures that do the same thing, even worse. They come out during the day with their fluffy tails hopping from tree to tree and collecting nuts. Bullshit. They also climb your utility wires, chew into your attics and breed. They will set up camp and infest your house. Cute, cute, cute.
 
FUUUUCK!!! I just had just seen one of those bastards on my windowsill. It could have jumped from a close branch or used their destructive claws to climb to my 3rd floor. I like keeping my windows open for fresh air. Now these rodents are interfering with my lifestyle. They'll claw through my screen. Then I'll have to set traps to get them.

I may get a pellet *** to shoot them or set up poison bait on the sill... or I may do both.
 
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