What kind of Club do you work in?
I'm 18.....
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Will E Worm
Conspiracy...
It's a good thing. Especially with AIDS, herpes, and all the other diseases.
Remember the thread about most porn stars having herpes? There's a reason for that. They have a lot of sex.
Sex can be learned with the person you marry.
The problem today is, most people want instant gratification.
There's no such thing as "safe" sex.
It would mean something to me. I'd respect her more for waiting, rather than sleeping around to gain "experience". Which is one of the most ludicrous reasons I've ever heard.
You can find a "experienced" or used female every where you look.
A community pool is always dirty. I guess it's because everyone is using it.
You're not gay. I agree with your comment.
Also, Fidelity is a religious thing. Adultery is never mentioned in the marriage license. Something to think about.
ChefChiTown
The secret ingredient? MY BALLS
It would mean something to me. I'd respect her more for waiting, rather than sleeping around to gain "experience". Which is one of the most ludicrous reasons I've ever heard.
You can find a "experienced" or used female every where you look.
A community pool is always dirty. I guess it's because everyone is using it.
You're not gay. I agree with your comment.
I've always laughed at the "to gain experience" mentality. Some girls will sleep with a shit load of guys to "gain experience", because they think that guys will love them more if they're good in bed or want to break up with them if they're bad in bed. That's the stupidest reason for sleeping around that I've ever heard in my life.
Girls like that will sleep around with anybody just to get good at sex, that way, when they meet the guy they want to spend the rest of their life with, they'll "thank" her for being so good at sex. Umm...no. It NEVER works like that, ever.
I'd be happier if a girl was terrible in bed and hadn't slept with anybody. That is a girl I want to be with, not some used up trash bag of a slut.
Exactly. Hence the reason you meet all sorts of different chicks. Enjoy being single and get laid as much as you want. Settle down when you get older, but for now, just go out and have fun. Don't marry the first girl you fuck.
Yes losing virginity is a "beautiful" thing. But when you really think about, there's no real big deal about it. You're probably gunna suck the first time, or be really nervous. Or be like me and totally rock their world.
But, don't settle for less than what you can achieve. You have the right things in line to get you lined up with some of the hottest girls. Use those tools to get what you want.
I woulda killed to lose my virginity to a total hottie. You Might even get a chance to get a girl that's got some more experience and pizzazz. The possibilities are endless. Save the realtionship stuff for a little later in life when things are settled in and are going on the up and up. Go out there, have fun, and get laid while you have fun.
:nanner:
I agree, live as much as you can, this means having sex with as many or a little women as you want or can get, it really doesnt matter.
Do you really think so, ive always though people tend to make to much of their virginity, they hold it up on some pedestal, like it has to be taken by the "one" because thats what they deserve. I dont know where this belief comes from, maybe because of a religious background, I dont know but to me getting all of the awkwardness out of the way as early as possible (within reason) it allows a person to live out their sexual life for as long as they possibly can. The longer you wait the more awkward you become IMO and the harder it is going to be in the long run to get over that hurdle.
Will E Worm
Conspiracy...
I laugh at the line "to gain experience" and "I'm not religious, I'm spiritual".
I just see people like that as misled and gullible.
Their parents should have taken more responsibility.
Women need to stop reading Modern Bride, Vogue and every magazine like them.
Also, stop watching programs like Sex in the City.
I tried to watch that show.
ukey:Virginity is a big deal, or should be. You can only give it away once.
What's the big deal with marriage? Why can someone sleep around before and not after?
Adultery is never mentioned in the marriage license.
Because fidelity is a religious thing.
I agree with you. There is a pedestal mentality when it comes to virginity. And I will admit that I had it way up there. I only lost mine 6 months ago so it's still fresh in my mind. It was kind of a special thing to me, but as I was humpin her, I felt like I had already been doin it and that it didn't really matter anyway. I think the longer someone waits, the more special it becomes. But then when it's all over, you're just layin there goin "That's it? That's what I was so worked up about?" . Don't get me wrong, it's still an awesome experience, but it doesn't last forever, and it's almost like a let down. Though if it's with someone who feels strongly about you, you get to do all the other fun stuff in bed that makes sex all that much better.
I've been told sex with someone you love is much better.
If you met a girl and she "saved" herself for you...that wouldn't mean ANYTHING to you?
Or...
If you met a girl who had sex with 250 different guys before she met you...you wouldn't have a problem with that?
:dunno:
I have to say TR, I really, really disagree with you on this one. Giving your virginity to someone is one of the most beautiful things that somebody can do. Yes, that might make me sound gay to some people, but I don't care.
I know that some believe that "love" is a societal construct as well, but that's complete, IMO. If the emotion of love didn't exist, then nobody would feel bad when their girlfriend/boyfriend broke up with them. Nobody would cry when their husband/wife died. Nobody would get upset if their life partner had sex with their best friend. I know that, ironically, it has become a societal belief that love and sex are two seperate things, but...they're not. Or, at least, they shouldn't be.
:2 cents:
Given that I'm beyond 30--yes, it would make me wonder and nervous to meet a girl who "saved herself for me" at this point. Yes, I will say that it would've made me feel strange back in my late teens or early 20s as well. Marriage was the last thing on my mind when I was in high school and college. I wanted fun. Hell, I still want fun. A "slutty" girl or a girl who has been "around the block" matters nothing to me. This means that I am free to go marry the stripper girl someday as long as I am convinced that she is in love with me (which given that I'm not naive, would be a challenge for her, but one I wouldn't be afraid of entering into someday.) The more sex that adults have--the better they are it (hopefully) and the happy they are, basically. That is my new motto.
Teens and early 20something have no perspective on anything. They feel "the rules of the world" don't apply to them. So, to many of them, the romantic notions you espouse seem like "reality." When divorce rates and "marriage happiness" rates would suggest otherwise. How many Republican presidential candidates were on first marriages? How many Dem candidates? Doesn't that seem like either the "Morality First" Republican approach is backward or that Love/Sex/Marriage should be concepts that need to be addressed differently by society?
I do believe in LOVE--I just believe in Sex too and think we're not addressing "Healthy Sex" as a nation. Many, many "problems" affect our country and could be solved with a different sex education approach (and even sex industry approach as we've discussed in other threads.) I do believe in monogamy, just in a completely different way to get there.
Chef--I guess I feel like the loss of your life partner (which you mentioned above) SHOULD BE MORE IMPORTANT than the losing of your cherry. Basically.
ChefChiTown
The secret ingredient? MY BALLS
I laugh at the line "to gain experience" and "I'm not religious, I'm spiritual".
I just see people like that as misled and gullible.
Their parents should have taken more responsibility.
Women need to stop reading Modern Bride, Vogue and every magazine like them.
Also, stop watching programs like Sex in the City.
I tried to watch that show.
You know what's funny? They actually did a news report here in Chicago on Sex and the City and how guys shouldn't watch it. The report was talking about how shows/movies like Sex and the City glorify slutiness in women and almost "teach" girls that they are supposed to behave like that.
It mentioned that guys shouldn't watch that show or that movie because it will make them think twice about the reality of how slutty a lot of women are. I agree with that. Girls (and guys too, don't get me wrong) are way too loose with their sexual experiences, pun intended. They have the mentality of "it's only sex" and treat it with no respect. I know there was another thread somewhere where I made a post about the hypocrisy of people who claim "it's only sex", so I won't repeat myself here.
It's not about "how long" you've waited for, it's about "who" you've waited for. If you wait until you're 30 years old to have sex for the first time, but it ends up being with a total bar slut...you're going to be disappointed, obviously. You would have absolutely no emotional connection with that girl and love would be a million miles away.
Now, if you wait until you're 30 years old to have sex for the first time, but it's with the woman you love and want to spend the rest of your life with, you will be so happy (and so will she) that you'll have a smile on your face for weeks and weeks and weeks.
Once again, this will probably make me sound gay, but...
Having sex with someone you love should be the only time you have sex at all. I know that society makes it "ok" for people to just fuck eachother for fun, but I'm not like that. Sex is something I'll never do unless there is a matching love that goes with it.
I don't know, maybe it's just me. :dunno:
Magazines I read: MAD, Sports Illustrated and Reader's Digest.
I wouldn't watch that damnable show if I got paid for it.
Will E Worm
Conspiracy...
If I listed all the books I've ever read, I'd blow everyone's minds.
ChefChiTown
The secret ingredient? MY BALLS
if you think you're ready for it, go for it ...
It ain't special, no matter what they say, it is good with that one or that one ... it's not about humping every woman you see as well...
Reading books on how you become a better lover, jeez, learning is something you do by practissing, no tv show is going to learn you that. If someone says a blow job is good, and you don't like it, would you have to do it against your will ... nah, i don't think so.
Even if she 's a virgin or "experienced", if you love her or think you'll love her, go ahead, it doesn't matter if you're unexperienced as well, talk before you act, and think smart, use :condom: .
My advice go out, enjoy ... life is too short. Life it to the fullest, but don't over do it. Stay yourself and listen only to what you self think, you and only you know when it's right, not somebody else.
Don't save it up as well, she can walk quicker out of your life then you think ...
It ain't special, no matter what they say, it is good with that one or that one ... it's not about humping every woman you see as well...
Reading books on how you become a better lover, jeez, learning is something you do by practissing, no tv show is going to learn you that. If someone says a blow job is good, and you don't like it, would you have to do it against your will ... nah, i don't think so.
Even if she 's a virgin or "experienced", if you love her or think you'll love her, go ahead, it doesn't matter if you're unexperienced as well, talk before you act, and think smart, use :condom: .
My advice go out, enjoy ... life is too short. Life it to the fullest, but don't over do it. Stay yourself and listen only to what you self think, you and only you know when it's right, not somebody else.
Don't save it up as well, she can walk quicker out of your life then you think ...
I agree with you. Not every guy I've fucked was someone I loved necessarily, but it was someone I was in a serious relationship with...never been interested in the one nite stand thing, or trying to pick up dudes at a bar or club. I'd rather I gain "experience" with someone I trust because I can pretty much guarantee that guys you randomly fuck don't really give two shits about your pleasure, especially if its a one nite stand...whereas when you're in love with someone you fuck, you learn so much more because there are feelings there and both parties want to please.
That being said, I'm tired and just woke up so that was likely a bunch of mumbo jumbo lol.
But yes...to the original poster. My advice would be to maybe turn off your computer for a day or two and go out and get some fresh air and maybe try to meet someone REAL that you can...you know, talk to, touch and maybe get to know. Not some big titted girl on the web because its not doing anything for you but getting you off. If you're seriously concerned enough about this to make a post, then I think you answered your own question. Yes you need to meet a real woman. If not just for the sex, at least so you can get some maybe facetime with a real woman and have it turn into something good. You're fine now since you're young but trust me, if I found out that you were some 25 yr old guy who'd never had sex or a gf because he spent all that time bating to porn...yeah, it'd be a major turnoff. Go get a gf and bang the shit out of her!!!!
So how'd you know know that you "love" the girl?
That she is the right one to have sex with?
@OP:
You work in a bar and you are still a virgin? are you serious?
ChefChiTown
The secret ingredient? MY BALLS
It's the worst, most cliche answer of all-time, but, you "just know". Let's put it this way...
If you have to ask yourself (or somebody else) if you are in love with somebody, you aren't in love with that person. If you are in love with somebody, you won't question or doubt your feelings at all.
Wait a minute, a club in which you have to be 19 to get in. Thats a littlebit random for an age to enter a club.
And your point is...?
