I just farted in my GF face

[RJS13]

I'm still LMAO. I'm sitting on the couch smoking a doob watching The steve Wilcos Show with the old ball and chain laid out next to me with her head in my lap. All of a sudden during a commercial break BRAAAAAAAP PAAP PAP. A scrambled egg(breakfast) chili dogs w/onions(lunch) smelly ass air biscuit. I almost shit myself to be honest and rank as hell.

GF: You god damn fucking pig!!!
ME: Honey relax, It's natural, everyone does it
GF: Ya, but not in someone's god damn fucking face!!! *storms off towards the bathroom retching with the dry heaves*
ME: Mission accomplished

Good times, and it didn't cost me a penny. Who says the best things in life aren't free? What are some things you like doing that bring you joy?

*PS: She's in the shower now LOL :rofl2:

 

[L3ggy]

That is fucked up.

 

[Little Red Wagon Repairman]

*PS: She's in the shower now LOL :rofl2:

Go in there, open the glass shower door, stick your bare ass in there, let out a steamy flutter fart, then quickly close the door trapping her with the smell. Is good.

 

[RJS13]

That is fucked up.

It actually wasn't premeditated but once it started it just kept going and going and.........

 

[RJS13]

Go in there, open the glass shower door, stick your bare ass in there, let out a steamy flutter fart, then quickly close the door trapping her with the smell. Is good.

Sheeeeit, I'm scared to go in there now LOL. I'll post what she says when she gets out

 

[Little Red Wagon Repairman]

Years ago I shared a small, one bedroom/one bathroom apartment with a girlfriend. She'd be on the couch trying to relax and watch TV while I was in the bathroom not too many feet away pinching off a loaf and playing a marathon session of Tetris DX. She'd beg me to open the window. I did for awhile until I saw how many crows got knocked dead off the telephone wires because of the horrible stench. When I stopped opening the window she'd ask me to light a match. I said it was too dangerous.

 

[RJS13]

Years ago I shared a small, one bedroom/one bathroom apartment with a girlfriend. She'd be on the couch trying to relax and watch TV while I was in the bathroom not too many feet away pinching off a loaf and playing a marathon session of Tetris DX. She'd beg me to open the window. I did for awhile until I saw how many crows got knocked dead off the telephone wires because of the horrible stench. When I stopped opening the window she'd ask me to light a match. I said it was too dangerous.

:rofl2:

 

[L3ggy]

It actually wasn't premeditated but once it started it just kept going and going and.........

 

[RJS13]

LOL, my GF hasn't looked at me the same since. Every time she walks by she gives me the same look as Steve-0 at the end of the vid. I think our trust is shot to hell and it may not work out. I hope it does but if it don't, hit the bricks bitch. I will find another victim *insert evil emoji of your choice here*

 

[Little Red Wagon Repairman]

LOL, my GF hasn't looked at me the same since. Every time she walks by she gives me the same look as Steve-0 at the end of the vid. I think our trust is shot to hell and it may not work out. I hope it does but if it don't, hit the bricks bitch. I will find another victim *insert evil emoji of your choice here*

You plan to kick her to the curb by blowing her out the door?

 

[RJS13]

You plan to kick her to the curb by blowing her out the door?

I don't plan on it, she been trying to feed me these anti-gas pills Beano. I keep telling her I don't have gas anymore but she don't trust me now. I should send her up to get a head of cabbage for my famous corned beef and cabbage. I'll tell her it prevents gas naturally lol.

 

[bobjustbob]

I'm still LMAO. I'm sitting on the couch smoking a doob watching The steve Wilcos Show with the old ball and chain laid out next to me with her head in my lap. All of a sudden during a commercial break BRAAAAAAAP PAAP PAP. A scrambled egg(breakfast) chili dogs w/onions(lunch) smelly ass air biscuit. I almost shit myself to be honest and rank as hell.

GF: You god damn fucking pig!!!
ME: Honey relax, It's natural, everyone does it
GF: Ya, but not in someone's god damn fucking face!!! *storms off towards the bathroom retching with the dry heaves*
ME: Mission accomplished

Good times, and it didn't cost me a penny. Who says the best things in life aren't free? What are some things you like doing that bring you joy?

*PS: She's in the shower now LOL :rofl2:

Ace, can you fit all of the above onto the cover of the upcoming AHOTY calendar?

 

[Mr. Daystar]

Ace, can you fit all of the above onto the cover of the upcoming AHOTY calendar?

I think I just lost my crown.

 

[Rane1071]

Go in there, open the glass shower door, stick your bare ass in there, let out a steamy flutter fart, then quickly close the door trapping her with the smell. Is good.

Years ago I shared a small, one bedroom/one bathroom apartment with a girlfriend. She'd be on the couch trying to relax and watch TV while I was in the bathroom not too many feet away pinching off a loaf and playing a marathon session of Tetris DX. She'd beg me to open the window. I did for awhile until I saw how many crows got knocked dead off the telephone wires because of the horrible stench. When I stopped opening the window she'd ask me to light a match. I said it was too dangerous.

:1orglaugh:1orglaugh

 

[Little Red Wagon Repairman]

I should send her up to get a head of cabbage for my famous corned beef and cabbage. I'll tell her it prevents gas naturally lol.

Washing your famous corned beef and cabbage down with a gallon of spoiled milk would really give you some sweet gas. Impress your lady by lighting one on fire.

 

[RJS13]

Washing your famous corned beef and cabbage down with a gallon of spoiled milk would really give you some sweet gas. Impress your lady by lighting one on fire.

Damn, I thought at 16:05 he was gonna fill up the washing machine LOL. Now I got to watch him eat a 1969 Vietnam era spaghetti MRE. That one should be fun

 

[bobjustbob]

Well, there's 35 seconds I'll never get back from my life.