One day, way back when I was a Lance Corporal, one of the platoon's Corporals was marching us around to some classroom or the other. He decided that it would be a good training opportunity to have one of the 'Lance Criminals' get some experience marching a small unit around, on the return trip. His intent was to call out one of us, provide some direction in the vein of simple marching commands, salutation of any and all Officers, etc. and let us go to town.
CPL - I need a motivated Marine to march the detail back!
*not a peep, no eye contact, nada*
CPL - You (pointing to me) thanks, for volunteering, get yer ass up here!
crap
CPL - You know what to do, just try not to screw it up too much.
As I already had a fairly decent grasp of the basics of drill movements and commands, I did ok, I suppose. Good enough that the Corporal decided that he wanted to hear a cadence, or my version of what would pass for a song.
CPL (marching a few steps behind the group) I'm bored! Sing something! Better make it good, too!
Oh, I got your good cadence right here, buddy...
ME: (singing to the group) Who can take your Grandma....!
LCPLs: Who can take your Grandma...!
Cpl: Hey-
ME: Bend her over a chair....!
LCPLs: Bend her over a chair...!
CPL: Wait a minu-
ME: Stick it right up her-!
CPL: WHOA! SHADUP!!! How about something that won't get me busted down to Pfc, numbnuts!
Damn, foiled again...
ME: Roger that, Corporal!
...
ME: Row, row, row your boat, gently down the stream!
LCPLs: Row, row, row your boat, gently down th-
CPL: No, no, damnit! Something serious!!
Hey, harmony can be hard work!
ME: Aye, aye, Corporal!
...
ME: AAaaaaaaavvveeeeh Mariiiii-iiiiiii-iaaaaaaa!
LCPLs: ?!?!?!
ME: Graaa-aatziah ple-eenaaaaaa!
CPL: You're fired! Get back in formation!
Everybody's a critic...
