Make the woman happy (Points System)
In the world of romance, one single rule applies:
Make the woman happy.
Do something she likes and you get points. Do something she dislikes and points are subtracted. You don't get any points for doing something she expects... Sorry, that's the way the game is played...
Here is a guide to the point system.
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Simple Duties:
You make the bed (+1)
You make the bed, but forget to add the decorative pillows (0)
You throw the bedspread over rumpled sheets (-1)
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Bathroom
You leave the toilet seat up (-5)
You replace the toilet-paper roll when it's empty (0)
When the toilet-paper roll is barren, you resort to Kleenex (-1)
When the Kleenex runs out you shuffle slowly to the next bathroom (-2)
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Shopping
You go out to buy her spring-fresh extra-light panty liners with wings (+5)
But return with **** (-5)
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Noises
You check out a suspicious noise at night (0)
You check out a suspicious noise and it's nothing (0)
You check out a suspicious noise and it's something (+5)
You pummel it with a six iron (+10)
It's her ****** (-10)
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Social Engagements
You stay by her side the entire party (0)
You stay by her side for a while, then leave to chat with a college ******** buddy (-2)
Named Tiffany (-4)
Tiffany is a dancer (-6)
Tiffany has implants (-8)
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Her Birthday
You take her out to dinner (0)
You take her out to dinner and it's not a sports bar (+1)
Okay, it is a sports bar (-2)
And it's all-you-can-eat night (-3)
It's a sports bar, it's all-you-can-eat night, and your face is painted the colors of your favorite team (-10)
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A Night Out with The Boys
Go out with a pal (-5)
And the pal is happily married (-4)
Or frighteningly single (-7)
And he drives a Mustang (-10)
With a personalized license plate "GR8 N BED" (-15)
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Bodily Functions
You refrain from farting for an entire 4 hour car ride (+5)
You fart once and excuse yourself, then roll down a window (+1)
You fart a few times, each time excusing yourself and rolling down a window (0)
You fart explosively and repeatedly, each time activating the childproof lock on her window, creating a virtual "dutch oven on wheels" and laugh maniacally. (-20)
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A Night Out
You take her to a movie (+2)
You take her to a movie she likes (+4)
You take her to a movie you **** (+6)
You take her to a movie you like (-2)
It's called DeathCop3 (-3)
Which features cyborgs having sex (-9)
You lied and said it was a foreign film about orphans (-15)
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Your Physique
You develop a noticeable potbelly (-15)
You develop a noticeable potbelly and exercise to get rid of it (+10)
You develop a noticeable potbelly and resort to loose jeans and baggy Hawaiian shirts (-30)
You say "I don't give a damn because you have one too" (-800)
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The Big Question
She asks, "Do I look fat?" (-5)
You hesitate in responding (-10)
You reply, "Where?" (-35)
You reply "Just more to love, honey". (-50)
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Communication
When she wants to talk about a problem, you listen, displaying what looks like a concerned expression (0)
When she wants to talk, you listen, for over 30 minutes (+5)
You listen for more than 30 minutes without looking at the TV (+10)
She realizes this is because you've fallen ****** (-20)
In the world of romance, one single rule applies:
Make the woman happy.
Do something she likes and you get points. Do something she dislikes and points are subtracted. You don't get any points for doing something she expects... Sorry, that's the way the game is played...
Here is a guide to the point system.
__________________________________
Simple Duties:
You make the bed (+1)
You make the bed, but forget to add the decorative pillows (0)
You throw the bedspread over rumpled sheets (-1)
__________________________________
Bathroom
You leave the toilet seat up (-5)
You replace the toilet-paper roll when it's empty (0)
When the toilet-paper roll is barren, you resort to Kleenex (-1)
When the Kleenex runs out you shuffle slowly to the next bathroom (-2)
__________________________________
Shopping
You go out to buy her spring-fresh extra-light panty liners with wings (+5)
But return with **** (-5)
__________________________________
Noises
You check out a suspicious noise at night (0)
You check out a suspicious noise and it's nothing (0)
You check out a suspicious noise and it's something (+5)
You pummel it with a six iron (+10)
It's her ****** (-10)
__________________________________
Social Engagements
You stay by her side the entire party (0)
You stay by her side for a while, then leave to chat with a college ******** buddy (-2)
Named Tiffany (-4)
Tiffany is a dancer (-6)
Tiffany has implants (-8)
__________________________________
Her Birthday
You take her out to dinner (0)
You take her out to dinner and it's not a sports bar (+1)
Okay, it is a sports bar (-2)
And it's all-you-can-eat night (-3)
It's a sports bar, it's all-you-can-eat night, and your face is painted the colors of your favorite team (-10)
__________________________________
A Night Out with The Boys
Go out with a pal (-5)
And the pal is happily married (-4)
Or frighteningly single (-7)
And he drives a Mustang (-10)
With a personalized license plate "GR8 N BED" (-15)
__________________________________
Bodily Functions
You refrain from farting for an entire 4 hour car ride (+5)
You fart once and excuse yourself, then roll down a window (+1)
You fart a few times, each time excusing yourself and rolling down a window (0)
You fart explosively and repeatedly, each time activating the childproof lock on her window, creating a virtual "dutch oven on wheels" and laugh maniacally. (-20)
__________________________________
A Night Out
You take her to a movie (+2)
You take her to a movie she likes (+4)
You take her to a movie you **** (+6)
You take her to a movie you like (-2)
It's called DeathCop3 (-3)
Which features cyborgs having sex (-9)
You lied and said it was a foreign film about orphans (-15)
__________________________________
Your Physique
You develop a noticeable potbelly (-15)
You develop a noticeable potbelly and exercise to get rid of it (+10)
You develop a noticeable potbelly and resort to loose jeans and baggy Hawaiian shirts (-30)
You say "I don't give a damn because you have one too" (-800)
_________________________________
The Big Question
She asks, "Do I look fat?" (-5)
You hesitate in responding (-10)
You reply, "Where?" (-35)
You reply "Just more to love, honey". (-50)
__________________________________
Communication
When she wants to talk about a problem, you listen, displaying what looks like a concerned expression (0)
When she wants to talk, you listen, for over 30 minutes (+5)
You listen for more than 30 minutes without looking at the TV (+10)
She realizes this is because you've fallen ****** (-20)
