How old were you when you discovered the truth?

[jtcarra]

I never thought santa was real

 

[HE1FiNEARTiST]

when i was 9 yrs old, my christian fanatic auntie came to stay with us for the holidays. on christmas eve morning, i heard my folks and my aunt arguing. my aunt didnt like the fact that my parents put on her childrens christmas presents, From: santa. my aunt was like "the only reason we have christmas was cause of jesus christ our savior. not santa!!" "so you put from: jesus, not santa!" lol i never saw my aunt again. so anyways my folks told me there wasnt a santa, and i said yeah, i kinda heard i told them you should just put your name on it, i mean after all, you got me the present, not santa.

 

[vodkazvictim]

Don't worry about it. I can still discover the truth like everyone else, can't I?

NEIN!
*cough*Um, I mean, maybe?

 

[StanScratch]

I was in the second grade, so I would have been 15.

 

[HeLovesPorn]

Yeah, I'm very happy that my dads faith turned his life around when it comes to his drug use...he was on a fast track to death (and actually when he quit cold turkey, he almost DID die from the detox) ...but unfortunately, his faith only healed his habits, and not his actual shitty personality. With the rest of his life, he used his faith and his bible to hide behind and use as an excuse for the rest of his sinning. Because "Jesus forgives", he felt he had a free pass to do whatever he wanted because he knew he'd still get into heaven as long as he repented. So he justified cheating on my mom with a member of our church with his faith, he justified throwing me out on the street when I was 17 because he felt I was a tool of the devil for wanting to attend a friends birthday party (lol...seriously, that was his reasoning)...so he's still the same fucked up, half brained person, just with a new lease on life I guess. He and the rest of the people like that can keep their faith, I'll live my life genuinely trying to be a good person.

But since you are an admitted person of faith...can I ask why you are here? I mean if you share the same Christian-based belief system that my family does, then technically, enjoying adult material and supporting an industry such as this is deemed wrong, according to the bible. So either you're here because you feel porn is ok anyways, or you're here to try to save us porn gals and their viewers lol.

No problem Ash! Unlike your father (NO offence meant at all), I don't feel he was really a Christian if he cheated on your mother and did all of that. Men who cheat rank VERY low in my eyes. I hate to pass judgement but yeah, it is my own personal feelings. Even though I own a bible and believe in it I keep it to myself but yes, when the subject is brought up I will say that I believe. I was raised in a devout Catholic family and I still attend Mass regularly. I am here because like ALL human beings--like you on down to me, ect--I am a sexual creature with desires. I LOVE seeing the female human flesh. I have wanten needs & desires like all. And I currently do not like with my girlfriend who is abroad teaching French in Vietnam. I enjoy naked bare breasts and nice buttocks and oui, sexy accents as wel. Also I DO NOT personally believe that supporting the adult film industry is wrong. Also some stars such as Lexington Steele and others have faith as well if you check they're English language Wikipedia.org entries. Some scumbags like Max Hardcore (who is currently rotting in jail to the best of my knowledge) I don't feel practice it or else he wouldn't produce the kind of material that he does, so I CAN NOT speak for everyone. Naturally.

But I believe there is an afterlife and I love and am comfortbale in my faith. It's something that a a Catholic/Christian radiates deep down within me. I am not so Conservative on all issues. Does it really bother others or make them curious that I am judgemental or something? *lol* I am most certainly NOT here to 'save' anybody. I do hope everyone is saved before they die, but with billions of people on our bickering planet, that is they're personal business, just as mine own is my own. So I guess we all share verying degrees of our own Christianity teachings. I just try to be a morally good person. What, I can't enjoy the healthy expresions of human sexuality on the free tube sites and the free photo galleries where I know where to get them? Of course I can! heh heh

Oh I also consider myself a regular adult film industry viewer, so I am one myself. Also: You are a naked webcam girl. While I have watched your shower shows and cum shows for free, you have never shot a hardcore photo session or appear in a modern day reality porn video shoot or a hardcore movie shoot that is set to appear on DVD (honestly though: You have in my fantasies, if you must know ...:o:1orglaugh), so I would techically, just to be playfully technical, NOT really consider you apart of the adult film industry. Not until or unless you go hardcore and have a paysite as you plan to in the future and begin selling three times the videos that you do and you and a current boyfriend or older sugar daddy appears with you in the video or other women, ect. Anything you wanna share with us my dearest Ash about supposedly being 'porn gal'? lol I'm just somewhat playing with you by the way so don't get too upset, now. *hugs* Hope this kind-hearted and non-judgmental I feel person of Faith answered your questions to the best of my knowledge and that you don't really feel bothered that I find you VERY attractive and consider myself a fan of your's. I also hope they keep they're faith as I'm sure many of theym are good people as well. And I hope maybe in a few years you can go to church to, if you feel the need deep down inside to go to a house of worship and to make friends. We're not all bad people, as you know. And many of us practice what we preach and hear get preached to us. Perhaps your former drug & alcoholic father wasn't the best example of a person of faith to you so early in life, by the way. I'm just throwin' that out there as I was thinking about it. *shrugs*

By the way ask around: I am not the only person of faith on this board. Look around if you wish and have fun.

 

[HeLovesPorn]

By the way my dearest and most intersting & entertain and intelligent Ashley: I noticed from your cam shows and your profile page at MyFreeCams and all of your twitters that like me you LOVE Christmas. Which hey, is great! And there is most definately a large atmospher of many elements that go into the over all 'feeling' of the 'Christmas season'. But you DO know, I assume as I find you highly intelligent, that you and many others are still celebrating the annual birthday of Christ, right? It's not all just about consumerism and throwing parites and puttng on seasonal music & movies, now. Just wanted to throw that out there as I haven't given up hope for ya just yet. Love ya, Ash! *hugs*

PS: Yes I still log in and vote for you every day in hopes that you'll win Ms. Freeones and you'll get that money ... and we'll get that full one hour Symbian show, so I hope ya don't think I am all bad, of course!

 

[D-rock]

I don't know, but it was extremely young. If I ever have children I'm just going to plain tell them the truth form the beginning. It's simpler, more honest, and they can start growing up with a true sense of reality earlier. I have thought telling children Santa was real was pretty stupid for a long time now. If we want kids to feel good or the have hope, imagination, and wonder there are a lot better ways to do it.

It's not telling children that he's not real that's that bad. It's lying to them in the first place. Even for non religious people if they showed that the holiday was about coming together and friendship and not about presents or money they would be better off. The later is part of the reason Christmas has become so commercialized and corrupted over the decades of modern time.

 

[anairhead999]

i was 8 when i found out

 

[HeLovesPorn]

I don't know, but it was extremely young. If I ever have children I'm just going to plain tell them the truth form the beginning. It's simpler, more honest, and they can start growing up with a true sense of reality earlier. I have thought telling children Santa was real was pretty stupid for a long time now. If we want kids to feel good or the have hope, imagination, and wonder there are a lot better ways to do it.

It's not telling children that he's not real that's that bad. It's lying to them in the first place. Even for non religious people if they showed that the holiday was about coming together and friendship and not about presents or money they would be better off. The later is part of the reason Christmas has become so commercialized and corrupted over the decades of modern time.

There is a lot of good, very intelligent things in that post. I agree with roughly everything and can respect it.

 

[zimie]

found out when I was 6

 

[fake_ono]

2nd grade in catholic school.
some 4 graders asked me if i still believed in santa, i lied an said no.

then asked the same question to some other 4th graders.

never told my parents i knew, so id still get loot.

 

[funkipman]

I don't remember the exact year I realized there was no santa, but I never let on that I knew and we still to this day put a "from santa" random present under the tree for everyone. As I was raised by a single mother, a few years after I knew, I started leaving bon-bons and wine for santa instead of cookies and milk... again nobody said anything... it was just an understood thing. Why let a stupid technicality ruin a family tradition?

 

[meesterperfect]

we should be careful what we say here.
there might be kids reading this!

 

[Spleen]

When something is as good, and as magical as Santa, you choose to keep believing it because the alternative is just depressing.

All my friends and family buying thoughtful presents for each other and myself?


Doesn't sound depressing to me.

 

[Jon S.]

I had to have been about 8 years old or so. I remember it quite vividly. An important piece of back story is the fact that I grew up in a VERY small town. Now, being that I have always been naturally inquisitive, I decided that I was going to find out one way or another. After everyone went to sleep one Christmas Eve, I got back up and went outside & spent the entire night there, because I wanted to catch a glimpse of Santa.....one way or another. Needless to say, I didn't see anything.....and surmised the fact that Santa was a myth.

Sadly, finding out that Santa, the Easter Bunny, the Tooth Fairy, etc. did not actually exist (after being told by people that I trusted that they did exist) actually had an unintended consequence. The fact that they didn't exist, actually caused me to begin to question the existence of God also (as the same people who "lied" to me about the aforementioned mythological figures, also told me that God existed.....and I have never seen him either). I would classify myself as being an agnostic (who leans toward believing though) to this day!

 

[knobs]

9 I think

 

[SpexyAshleigh]

No problem Ash! Unlike your father (NO offence meant at all), I don't feel he was really a Christian if he cheated on your mother and did all of that. Men who cheat rank VERY low in my eyes. I hate to pass judgement but yeah, it is my own personal feelings. Even though I own a bible and believe in it I keep it to myself but yes, when the subject is brought up I will say that I believe. I was raised in a devout Catholic family and I still attend Mass regularly. I am here because like ALL human beings--like you on down to me, ect--I am a sexual creature with desires. I LOVE seeing the female human flesh. I have wanten needs & desires like all. And I currently do not like with my girlfriend who is abroad teaching French in Vietnam. I enjoy naked bare breasts and nice buttocks and oui, sexy accents as wel. Also I DO NOT personally believe that supporting the adult film industry is wrong. Also some stars such as Lexington Steele and others have faith as well if you check they're English language Wikipedia.org entries. Some scumbags like Max Hardcore (who is currently rotting in jail to the best of my knowledge) I don't feel practice it or else he wouldn't produce the kind of material that he does, so I CAN NOT speak for everyone. Naturally.

But I believe there is an afterlife and I love and am comfortbale in my faith. It's something that a a Catholic/Christian radiates deep down within me. I am not so Conservative on all issues. Does it really bother others or make them curious that I am judgemental or something? *lol* I am most certainly NOT here to 'save' anybody. I do hope everyone is saved before they die, but with billions of people on our bickering planet, that is they're personal business, just as mine own is my own. So I guess we all share verying degrees of our own Christianity teachings. I just try to be a morally good person. What, I can't enjoy the healthy expresions of human sexuality on the free tube sites and the free photo galleries where I know where to get them? Of course I can! heh heh

Oh I also consider myself a regular adult film industry viewer, so I am one myself. Also: You are a naked webcam girl. While I have watched your shower shows and cum shows for free, you have never shot a hardcore photo session or appear in a modern day reality porn video shoot or a hardcore movie shoot that is set to appear on DVD (honestly though: You have in my fantasies, if you must know ...:o:1orglaugh), so I would techically, just to be playfully technical, NOT really consider you apart of the adult film industry. Not until or unless you go hardcore and have a paysite as you plan to in the future and begin selling three times the videos that you do and you and a current boyfriend or older sugar daddy appears with you in the video or other women, ect. Anything you wanna share with us my dearest Ash about supposedly being 'porn gal'? lol I'm just somewhat playing with you by the way so don't get too upset, now. *hugs* Hope this kind-hearted and non-judgmental I feel person of Faith answered your questions to the best of my knowledge and that you don't really feel bothered that I find you VERY attractive and consider myself a fan of your's. I also hope they keep they're faith as I'm sure many of theym are good people as well. And I hope maybe in a few years you can go to church to, if you feel the need deep down inside to go to a house of worship and to make friends. We're not all bad people, as you know. And many of us practice what we preach and hear get preached to us. Perhaps your former drug & alcoholic father wasn't the best example of a person of faith to you so early in life, by the way. I'm just throwin' that out there as I was thinking about it. *shrugs*

By the way ask around: I am not the only person of faith on this board. Look around if you wish and have fun.

By the way my dearest and most intersting & entertain and intelligent Ashley: I noticed from your cam shows and your profile page at MyFreeCams and all of your twitters that like me you LOVE Christmas. Which hey, is great! And there is most definately a large atmospher of many elements that go into the over all 'feeling' of the 'Christmas season'. But you DO know, I assume as I find you highly intelligent, that you and many others are still celebrating the annual birthday of Christ, right? It's not all just about consumerism and throwing parites and puttng on seasonal music & movies, now. Just wanted to throw that out there as I haven't given up hope for ya just yet. Love ya, Ash! *hugs*

PS: Yes I still log in and vote for you every day in hopes that you'll win Ms. Freeones and you'll get that money ... and we'll get that full one hour Symbian show, so I hope ya don't think I am all bad, of course!

I hate to clog up this thread, because it wasn't meant to be a discussion about faith but since we're here I might as well.

No my dad is not a practicing Christian. He claims to be, but he "sins" far too much to really be considered a good person of faith. I mean everyone fucks up right, but he does it far too freely..its more of a mental thing. If he genuinely fucked up and felt bad, I'd say he was an actual Christian, but he fucks up, acts sorry but goes out to repeat the same thing lol. And yes, its scummy of my dad to run around on my mom, but it is what it is. I don't want to turn this discussion into one that bashes my dad, because while he's a douchebag, he also worked so hard when we were kids to give us everything we could want.

I never said the adult industry was evil or bad - I'm saying according to the bible, and many different religions, its seen as bad. I obviously don't share that same opinion lol, although there are certainly alot of evil things in the adult industry, but there are with anything in life. The fact that your faith is partially based in Catholicism explains why you feel ok with enjoying adult material - Catholics are a bit more lenient on certain things, where other denominations of Christianity are more clear cut on whats right and wrong.

And as for me, I never said I was apart of the adult FILM industry - but I AM apart of the adult industry. Alot of camgirls try to sugarcoat what they do online, and like to pretend that they're not making porn, but in actuality what we do is considered LIVE porn. We're sexually entertaining men, for the purpose of arousing them and getting them off. No different than a porn film, it just happens to be live. I'm not delusional in thinking that I'm free and clear of any "adult" label, because I'm not seen guzzling jizz, or getting fucked by guys on camera....because while I don't do alot of hardcore things, I AM sexually arousing men by the hundreds every nite, and that essentially is the motivation behind porn.

But faith...religion...its not for me. I'm realistic enough to know that I'll never know what religion or set of beliefs is the right one, so there really isn't a point in trying to figure it out. The key to "heaven" is not known to anyone on this earth, and we're all just blind sheep trying to find our way. Some people find a faith that betters and improves their lives (ie. my dad, who got himself clean from his faith) and that is fantastic. I love seeing people who have had their lives enriched by their personal faith. But for the actual organized religions, where people are herded into churches, told when to pray, worship, tithe...and are dictated to follow a clearcut set of rules...thats never going to be for me. I don't have a set of beliefs, but I know that blindly following a leader isn't going to get me into heaven. Having a true, authentic relationship with a personal faith that I can find on my own, will be the best shot I have. I make mistakes and learn from them. I try to be a good person, who can enrich the lives of others whenever possible. That, at the end of the day is what I believe matters.

Anyways I'll shuddup now, and stop throwing this thread off track. My apologies fellow thread-posters! :hatsoff:

 

[capitalicon]

I think it was when I was 6 or 7, fell asleep next to the heater vent in the front room and woke up to find my parents placing the presents around the tree. They were far too drunk to notice me watching them. A small piece of me died that night and I began to question things more.

 

[Ulysses31]

I thought Santa died?

http://www.saintsagainsttyranny.com/pope_wideweb__430x349.jpg

 

[HeLovesPorn]

Big thanks Ash! And I'm glad you got my PM and enjoyed my answers. And yes I know it is not film, and I suppose you really are an official star-checked member, and apart of the adult industry---and I somewhat include cam girls in there as well. I'm glad we understand each other, although in a controversal move I DO NOT see myself as blindly following, but I am open to admit that I know of what you speak of. It's something that resinates deep down inside of me. I'm also glad that in the past here when I was britonlover I heard you made mention that you DO believe in God and the whole heaven & Earth thing and Hell. I have seen people in a nursing home I worked in cross over as they were passing away, and so I have a first-hand sight into believing, please to trust me. And yes I know you never said you were an adult FILM STAR, but yes your a CAM GIRL star--I agree. : ) Yup a lot of laides do try to sugar-coat it. What I meant was is that (and you'll notice this too now, by the way) is that MANY of them DO get & feel personally offended about being included in the whole adult entertainment world/industry and I was trying not to possibly offend you or anyone, but I believe me & you are both right.

Also as long as you have faith and you try to be a good person that is alll the big man up in the sky in that other dimension as well as me chould possibly ask of you. And as along as you are okay with me having Faith and never cut me down or personally attack me, which I know you never would, I'll still try to follow you on occasion on Twitter and every week or so I'll try to stop by to say hi/bonjour on your MyFreeCams page. Even with currently very limited online time as of late.

Take care my love and have a very merry Christmas! And God bless us all, everyone at this wonderful time of year. **big hugs**

PS: Yeah I know yu never really said the adult film industry was evil or bad, but I do know of many faith groups who DO see it as bad--but again I am not one of them and cannot speak for many groups. My original response(s) are still up there for ya to read and enjoy, and I DO agree that there are (sadly) many degrading, fearful and just plain wrong-headed and Misogynist elements to the adult industry, but I prefer older adult films before the more raunchy days as well as still galleries and cam girl model shows. Modern adult stuff is most certainly a bit too raunchy and NOT for me, really. But I explain that in other threas that you can click on my name and search for what all I am into and most certainly not into. But I have enjoyed meeting several stars on here as well as cam girls and they seem like fairly intelligent people. But of course there ARE VERY shadey and even some very stupid people (I appologise to anyone, but I've seen many video & audio interviews and I know what I am talking about) in the industry. Just my own 2 cents and I do agree a lot.