help need advice on religious decision...

ForumModeregulator

Believer In GregCentauro
So, my parents were both raised and taught in a traditional style family, to be strong believers in the Christianity...blah blah....on we go...

Now they spent the majority of their lives raising me under the same principles, which with my child brainwashing fertile sponge brain began to build into me for so long...church camps here, blah blah...anyways. After growing up it felt pretty tough to find a reason to believe in anything. I had learned to find academia and science as tools of reasoning. But now I am stuck spiritually, there is no religion I follow, but existence of a higher being may be possible. Thats what I am comfortable saying. im not going to go to hell based off of a book written back in the damn beginning of civilization...especially since I am actually a very good person. ..

BUT the real issue now is that I dont know what to tell my parents. They are getting pretty old, and I dont know. This entire time they believe that I am a "good old Christian boy" and that I believe in all of the myths of the bible.

So do I continue to let them believe I do, and that I believe that someday I will meet them in heaven?


and all that...or do I do what i want to do? which is be frank tell them how i feel, but risking crushing their spirits knowing that there son is going to hell...and that i am some sort of condemned spirit of evil ...

i dont want to hurt them. this is so tough.:dunno:
 

PlasmaTwa2

The Second-Hottest Man in my Mother's Basement
Voodoo
 
If it were me, I probably wouldn't say anything. But given that I can't relate to your situation, having been brought up in a secular household and never having had a faith in the divine of any kind - at least as far back as I remember. Having spiritual parents who might be hurt by the particular path I've chosen to believe is an entirely new phenomena to me. All I'll say is this; if you really feel that it is right for your parents to know how you feel about faith in general then it's really the right choice to tell them no matter what the consequences. But, if you think that this action would cause more harm than good and you are perfectly comfortable carrying on living your life keeping this from them, then do so.

Maybe someone with actual experience with this kind of situation will be along to give actual advice soon.....
 

Supafly

Retired Mod
Bronze Member
In my experience, you need to be honest about your point of view.

Tell them what you believe or not.
 

GodsEmbryo

Closed Account
How important is it for you not to tell them?
You don't want to hurt them, ok...
How important is it for you to tell them?
?

Not telling is living a lie. I mean, may be you can look at it from an other angle. If you tell them it could (would) hurt them. But they now you are a good person none the less. You are honoust and fair to them by doing so.
Or you would lie to them for all the years to come by pretending, cheating, lying, etc. I don't know if that's better...
 
Hard to gauge what your exact belief is regarding a Deity based on your post.

Is it that you believe in one just not based on the doctrine you were taught?:dunno:

But there is a pretty funny juxtapositioning you have here IMO.

If you don't believe in the trappings of religious doctrine (or at least what you were taught) and your dilemma is spare your conscience or them..then that choice should be easy. Spare them at the expense of your conscience. (Continue to live a lie for their benefit.)

However, if you think there is some higher wrong in your deception of them. Then tell them the truth.

Even though a person could be a pure moralist on truth, it is a little hard to reconcile what you think the cost of the deception is when you don't believe in the trappings of religious doctrine though.
 

maildude

Postal Paranoiac
God wants you to buy a box of Krispie Kremes.
 

SpexyAshleigh

Official Checked Star Member
I don't see how its any of their business. Faith is something that should be personal IMO. I mean unless you're still going to church with them and praying with them and all that jazz...just keep it to yourself. Trust me, if you don't, they're going to spend the remainder of their lives trying to "save" you, and your relationship will suffer.
 

PirateKing

█▀█▀█ █ &#9608
Nah. Let them hold on to the false notion that you are an upstanding Christian who condemns homosexuals and foreigners. If you tell them you are a blasphemer who believes in "science" then they might call a priest to come over and lecture you.
 

HeLovesPorn

Closed Account
I don't see how its any of their business. Faith is something that should be personal IMO. I mean unless you're still going to church with them and praying with them and all that jazz...just keep it to yourself. Trust me, if you don't, they're going to spend the remainder of their lives trying to "save" you, and your relationship will suffer.

Even though I am a person of Faith I do agree with ya it should be personal, but if they ask him I feel he should tell them the truth--even if I just know it'll crush they're spirits. It's only oddly right instead of leading them on and only going to church maybe twice a year on Easter holiday and on Chirstmas Eve or whatever other season, ect.

Judging from what all he wrote he appears to have more Agnostic beliefs like an old school friend of mine and he might wanna Wikipedia look that up for a while. Then maybe try to find a way to tell'em, but only if he wishes to try to form some really good arguments.

But I am not the type of person of faith who tries to "save" others, but very interesting point, as I do know of many that do. But I'm also the type of is someone is always nagging towards my faith and my denomination of the big-C (and I don't mind in the mostly fairly polite and not too defensive way in which you do, Ash--I'm all perfectly mostly okay with that), I do wonder just what the Hell they're problem is. Just wanted to note that. But yeah, there is a large percentage of chance that if they are more Evangenical in they're faith then said relationship IS guaranteed to suffer, no questions about it. (plus they'll be very disappointed and will try to save him).

Best of luck to ya and God bless you all.
 

vodkazvictim

Why save the world, when you can rule it?
So, my parents were both raised and taught in a traditional style family, to be strong believers in the Christianity...blah blah....on we go...

Now they spent the majority of their lives raising me under the same principles, which with my child brainwashing fertile sponge brain began to build into me for so long...church camps here, blah blah...anyways. After growing up it felt pretty tough to find a reason to believe in anything. I had learned to find academia and science as tools of reasoning. But now I am stuck spiritually, there is no religion I follow, but existence of a higher being may be possible. Thats what I am comfortable saying. im not going to go to hell based off of a book written back in the damn beginning of civilization...especially since I am actually a very good person. ..

BUT the real issue now is that I dont know what to tell my parents. They are getting pretty old, and I dont know. This entire time they believe that I am a "good old Christian boy" and that I believe in all of the myths of the bible.

So do I continue to let them believe I do, and that I believe that someday I will meet them in heaven?


and all that...or do I do what i want to do? which is be frank tell them how i feel, but risking crushing their spirits knowing that there son is going to hell...and that i am some sort of condemned spirit of evil ...

i dont want to hurt them. this is so tough.:dunno:

Sartre would would say that you've made your choice but are just seeking our approval.
THIS IS YOUR CHOICE. YOU ARE THE BEST PLACED TO MAKE IT.
But good luck and I'm sure you'll do well.
 
I would recommend looking at this guy's YouTube channel.

http://www.youtube.com/theramintrees

He too is someone that was raised by believers... but as time progressed, he found that he no longer believed. He provides many excellent monologies and arguments as to how and why this happened.

Look through his videos... I'm certain you'll find plenty of stuff from your own situation there, and how to argue for your position.

Plus he kicks arse when it comes to visual design so it's a pure joy watching some of his videos just for that reason.

As for me... yes today I too call myself an atheist but it's not a big deal because my parents weren't big on belief.

The reasoning is simple: faith is - by definition - belief without evidence. I'm not gonna make decisions in my life based on illfounded beliefs. If there had been evidence of the existence of God(s), believing in them wouldn't be faith, but science. (And yeah the Intelligent Design argument is a load of fetid dingo's kidneys... that is not science).

/S
 

xfire

New Twitter/X @cxffreeman
You don't tell little kids there is no Santa Claus. You don't tell Christians there is no God. Let them think you believe. It costs you nothing and makes them happy.
 
Everybody has rights to give advice to everyone else and everybody else has the right not to listen.

Same was my situation.I was raised to follow religion and spirituality, but I don't link spirituality with religion.Spirituality something defined in your own terms.Though I do believe in religion, I've redefined it in my terms.I don't believe in professing it or brainwashing anyone.I believe in discipline and live life without harming and hurting anyone.I mingle well with Atheists as well as with Believers.

So, just don't hurt their sentiments.They are old, and they have their own presumptions about you.So, do things that are possible on your part to do and whenever you feel something you can't do, just talk to them politely.They would understand definitely.

Regards
AH
 

HeLovesPorn

Closed Account
Everybody has rights to give advice to everyone else and everybody else has the right not to listen.

Same was my situation.I was raised to follow religion and spirituality, but I don't link spirituality with religion.Spirituality something defined in your own terms.Though I do believe in religion, I've redefined it in my terms.I don't believe in professing it or brainwashing anyone.I believe in discipline and live life without harming and hurting anyone.I mingle well with Atheists as well as with Believers.

So, just don't hurt their sentiments.They are old, and they have their own presumptions about you.So, do things that are possible on your part to do and whenever you feel something you can't do, just talk to them politely.They would understand definitely.

Regards
AH

Wonderful way to put it, Absolutehell. Truely a wonderful way. Much respect and posative rep to you, good sir!
 
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