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Have you ever.............

no

.. come home from partying with somebody else's keys, cellphone and/or wallet?
 
No (at least I do not remember)

... got a boner on the beach and have someone comment it?
 
Yep!

...ever made the horrible "pregnant gaffe" ?

explaination:

you meet a woman you haven't seen for some time and say: "oh, look at you, you're wonderful! When is the baby going to arrive?"

...and after two embarassing seconds of silence she says "I'm NOT pregnant!"
 
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