Haiku Battle Thread

[Ace Boobtoucher]

Talcum powder soothes
my chaffed genitals because
I jerk off a lot.

 

[xfire]

Fuck Off assari
With that stupid retard shit
I hope your dick dies

 

[Ace Boobtoucher]

Fuck Off assari
With that stupid retard shit
I hope your dick dies

That is the most wonderfully composed haiku I've ever seen.

Beautiful hatred
your rage is lubricant for
this fap session.

 

[Ace Boobtoucher]

GAMERA!!!!! OMG OMG day made.

Turtles aren't scary
But giant flying turtles --
Now that is scary

 

[aesopRock]

Vertical verse form
Ice melts while buds fight to bloom
Horizontal thoughts

 

[aesopRock]

A life without clam
The tale of palinurus
Hairy palms for thee

 

[Sam Fisher]

The only problem
with Haiku is that you just
get started and then

 

[sean miguel]

A life without clam
The tale of palinurus
Hairy palms for thee

A life without clam
Is a life not worth living
Mmm mmm clam chowdah

 

[BCT]

A life without clam
Is a life not worth living
Mmm mmm clam chowdah

 

[Ace Boobtoucher]

photo uploader

 

[HappyHapyJoyJoy]

I suck at counting
Syllables so not my thing
Not sure this is five

 

[HappyHapyJoyJoy]

waves seemed romantic
now I have sand in my ass
don't fuck on the beach

 

[Ace Boobtoucher]

A stand of cedars,
a spaceship is taking off
and I am tired

I didn't write this. Bonus points if you know where it's from.

Was it MST3K?

 

[Ace Boobtoucher]

This Saint Patrick's Day

There is only one message

Of note: “Deal with it”

 

[HappyHapyJoyJoy]

so, met lurkingdirk
G.H.B. is flavorless
my ass is now sore

 

[Ace Boobtoucher]

 

[HappyHapyJoyJoy]

Godzilla's a punk
you know robots rule the day
Voltron is the shit!

 

[Ace Boobtoucher]

 

[Mr_Stiffy]

Which industry superstar came up with this one then?

"Even girls like me
Have to draw the line somewhere
Animals and poo"

 

[Jack Davenport]

Buy Gold Bond powder
Apply it to your scrotum
No more itchy balls