File this one under “Bizarre News of Today’s Slow News Day.” A 25-year-old Arizona man was arrested after a series of events that sounds too ridiculous to be true.
See if you can follow along…
According to witness reports logged by the The Albuquerque Journal, Luis Briones was:
1) Driving while heavily intoxicated.
2) Having sex with a woman in his lap while driving the car under the influence.
3) Ran a red light and crashed into another car as he drunkenly drove while having sex with a woman on his lap.
4) The crash threw his naked sex partner out of the vehicle. The drunken Briones attempted to flee the scene, but a witness grabbed his keys.
5) So instead of fleeing by vehicle, Briones got out of his car and attempted to hide… inside a cactus.
6) From inside the cactus, Briones refused police demands and reportedly “became hostile” with paramedics.
7) While in the back of a police car, Briones refused to keep his pants on.
So… yeah. The man was booked by Albuquerque, N.M., police with multiple charges including including aggravated DWI, reckless driving, and evading the police. A bottle of vodka was found in the empty vehicle.
As for Briones’ ejected naked female companion — she is in “stable condition,” after being found with deep cuts to her face and head.
