Domestic violence

[assari]

The reasons why it's happening? Food that isn't that great, the wife complaining, and children behaving badly are not reasons to beat a woman, let alone anyone.

How do you think women feel about children complaining? We don't like it either. And how about the whole giving birth ordeal? What, do you think all you have to do is donate your sperm and then make money to put food in the house and keep a roof over her head is all you have to do to be a father and a husband? If so, you're dead wrong.

Not many women are stay at home moms anymore. We work just as hard as men.

Women put up with emotional, mental, physical, and psychological bullshit everyday, not just men.

-Those are not acceptable reasons, but they can actually cause violent behavior, if a man is very stressed out.

-Of course the women are also stressed out when the children are behaving badly, but the women know how to deal this stress better than man, because they are natural children's nurses.

-In my wiew it is a very fine thing when a man has purchased a house for his family and go to work.

- In my wiew a woman is supposed to be at home when the children are small, so female employment is not always a good thing.

-That is true, but the women know how to extract the stress men do not.

 

[assari]

I don't condone it, and there definitely isn't any excuse for it, ever. Having said that, I can see how it could happen, though. Some people just know what buttons to press on others, and, if done enough times, some people can't restrain themselves. Not an excuse, or justification, just a reality.

That is exactly what I was trying to say.

 

[CunningStunts]

I don't condone it, and there definitely isn't any excuse for it, ever.

What if you come home and your wife just drowned 2 of your 3 kids... can you wail on her then, or do you have to let her drown the third?

 

[PlumpRump]

What if you come home and your wife just drowned 2 of your 3 kids... can you wail on her then, or do you have to let her drown the third?

Which 2 kids? If she drowned the smart kid or the athletic kid, then yes, I'd probably hit her for that. At least one of the little bastards needs to live long enough to make some damn money to afford to put me in a nursing home, eventually.

 

[C.K. Lawrence]

Don't forget it's cyclical in nature. If one is raised in an abusive manner there is a tendency towards violence, both for men and women. The obvious choice would be to strive harder to not behave in such manners, unfortunately for most that isn't what happens. :2 cents:

 

[vodkazvictim]

OP can't seriously be trying to excuse domestic violence? I've go a grade a pain in the arse of a wife and if she ever got me close to smacking her I'd just head straight down to the pub to chill out.

 

[Ace Boobtoucher]

I don't think assari is nearly as cool as Sean Connery but................

they both make strong arguments for beating up wimmins.

 

[Harley Spencer]

-Those are not acceptable reasons, but they can actually cause violent behavior, if a man is very stressed out.

-Of course the women are also stressed out when the children are behaving badly, but the women know how to deal this stress better than man, because they are natural children's nurses.

-In my wiew it is a very fine thing when a man has purchased a house for his family and go to work.

- In my wiew a woman is supposed to be at home when the children are small, so female employment is not always a good thing.

-That is true, but the women know how to extract the stress men do not.

Women don't deal with stress any better than men. We handle it differently and react differently. Women get depressed and anxious, whereas men tend to either get angry or simply walk away from the matter to cool down. I cannot possibly see how you, or anyone, would think that women can handle stress better than men. I think it's the opposite.

For example, after a breakup, a woman will tend to cry a lot, feel negative about just about everything, wonder why she's not good enough, her self esteem will plummet, she'll listen to sad music and bawl her eyes out. A man will hang out with his buddies, drink, see other women and have one night stands, and hide his emotions. A woman might continuously call him trying to win back his heart, saying how much she misses him. A man will resent her, ignore her. Of course these are all generalizations and not every man or woman is like this, as there are exceptions to every situation, but from my experience and from witnessing friends and family go through breakups, this is typically how it goes.

So you're sexist then I take it. Women should be stay at home moms, cook dinner for her family. Men should do all the work and provide all the money.

Sure, it is a very fine thing when a man purchases a house and works and provides for his family. But times are changing. That's not how things work anymore. Like it or not, women are stepping up and doing the same things as men, and in some cases, making more money and providing even more for her family than the man she is with. A man can't just make money and expect everything to be okay. Relationships are more than that, he needs to be there for her emotionally and physically. Women are much more emotional than men, as stereotypical as that is, which goes back to my point that you're wrong about women handling stress better than men.

Just because certain things might cause a man to act violently does not condone them or make them right. You've said a few times in this thread that they're not acceptable reasons, but by the way you're talking, it sounds to me like you think they're perfectly acceptable reasons, seeing as how you've made it a point to justify those reasons. If a man acts violently because his kids have poor behavior, his wife complains, and his food tastes bad, he's a shitty man, and in fact not a man, he's a boy and needs to grow up, mature, and learn how to deal with life. I've never met any man that acts violently for any of those reasons. I've seen arguing for those reasons, but never physical violence. I have seen physical violence from both genders, but never for stupid reasons like that. So I don't know where you're getting your opinions or sources from, but they're wrong.

 

[Zolf J. Kimbly]

dude if you are havin problems with the wife and rugrats at home that is easily fixed

do like Japanese men do

pack you an extra set of clothes and dont come home after work

instead go straight to a bar after your shift is over

get shit-faced

sleep it off in your car

then go straight to work the next day

Zolf is gonna keep this formula in his back pocket for those "dark days"

Especially when my woman is on the rag.

 

[assari]

do like Japanese men do

pack you an extra set of clothes and dont come home after work

instead go straight to a bar after your shift is over

That is good advice, but it can lead to another problem.

The woman becomes jealous since no one will belive that someone would sleep the night in the car.

 

[assari]

Women don't deal with stress any better than men. We handle it differently and react differently. Women get depressed and anxious, whereas men tend to either get angry or simply walk away from the matter to cool down. I cannot possibly see how you, or anyone, would think that women can handle stress better than men. I think it's the opposite.

For example, after a breakup, a woman will tend to cry a lot, feel negative about just about everything, wonder why she's not good enough, her self esteem will plummet, she'll listen to sad music and bawl her eyes out.

Like it or not, women are stepping up and doing the same things as men, and in some cases, making more money and providing even more for her family than the man she is with.

Just because certain things might cause a man to act violently does not condone them or make them right. You've said a few times in this thread that they're not acceptable reasons, but by the way you're talking, it sounds to me like you think they're perfectly acceptable reasons, seeing as how you've made it a point to justify those reasons.

-Maybe women do not know how to handle stress better than men, but the point was that women do not resort to violence.

-Women have feelings, but sometimes it seems that a woman can not think of any men's feeling.

Maybe sexist thinking, but I think that a woman can behave very selfishly and it will cause problems in the relationship.

-They were only examples.

I should have to ask that how to avoid a violent situation.

Well, this is a pretty difficult subjet.

 

[Harley Spencer]

-Maybe women do not know how to handle stress better than men, but the point was that women do not resort to violence.

-Women have feelings, but sometimes it seems that a woman can not think of any men's feeling.

Maybe sexist thinking, but I think that a woman can behave very selfishly and it will cause problems in the relationship.

-They were only examples.

I should have to ask that how to avoid a violent situation.

Well, this is a pretty difficult subjet.

Women can't think of mens' feelings? I am perfectly capable of sympathizing with men and I do care about how people feel, regardless of gender. The same could be said for men, not caring about how women feel.

I should have to ask that how to avoid a violent situation.

Well, this is a pretty difficult subjet

Are you asking me how I think you can avoid a violent situation?

 

[Zolf J. Kimbly]

That is good advice, but it can lead to another problem.

The woman becomes jealous since no one will belive that someone would sleep the night in the car.

then get a hotel

or sleep at a buddy's house

the only accusation she can throw your way then is that you are gay

which would be entirely false

so she would end up looking foolish

 

[Mr. Numb3rs]

Women can't think of mens' feelings? I am perfectly capable of sympathizing with men and I do care about how people feel, regardless of gender. The same could be said for men, not caring about how women feel.

I should have to ask that how to avoid a violent situation.

Well, this is a pretty difficult subjet

Are you asking me how I think you can avoid a violent situation?

im pretty sure assari didnt mean anything negative with this thread.

reading the comments he has made, i believe the language barrier is making it easier for some things to be taken slightly out of context

that being said, naming a thread "domestic violence" doesnt help that much either...

 

[Rey C.]

-Maybe women do not know how to handle stress better than men, but the point was that women do not resort to violence.

Some women resort to violence, just as some men resort to violence. IMO, it's when people make or accept generalizations about ENTIRE groups of people that they head down the wrong path.

-Women have feelings, but sometimes it seems that a woman can not think of any men's feeling.

Again, that's a generalization. I'm a man but I can't tell you how another man would necessarily feel about a given situation. We're all individuals. We don't possess genetic memories. Although I agree that each gender may have unique tendencies or qualities, i.e., young boys tend to be more aggressive/assertive than young girls. But for all I know, that could have just as much to do with nurture as nature. I don't know.

Maybe sexist thinking, but I think that a woman can behave very selfishly and it will cause problems in the relationship.

Again, that's a generalization. Members of both genders can behave selfishly. Is there actual, objective data showing that one gender is more selfish than the other? I've met or gone out with girls who are selfish princesses. And I've met or gone out with girls who are generous, almost to a fault.

I should have to ask that how to avoid a violent situation.

If one has a calm or passive nature, there's probably not much that you'd have to do. Or at the very least, if there is a violent situation, you wouldn't be the one enacting the violence. If you're with a person who has violent tendencies, break up with them. When people (male or female) stay in relationships where there is violence, I lose all/most sympathy for them. And lastly, if you are a person with violent tendencies, you can seek professional help... whether it be formal or informal.

Well, this is a pretty difficult subjet.

Yes, I agree with that. It is a difficult subject. But avoiding prejudices and generalizations makes it less so, IMO.

 

[Pattheprovo]

Dominant gender thread and now this. Woah my spidey sense is tingling.

 

[PlumpRump]

im pretty sure assari didnt mean anything negative with this thread.

reading the comments he has made, i believe the language barrier is making it easier for some things to be taken slightly out of context

that being said, naming a thread "domestic violence" doesnt help that much either...

I'm pretty sure this explanation is spot on.

 

[assari]

Are you asking me how I think you can avoid a violent situation?

I mean that I should asked that question when I started this conversation.

 

[assari]

Again, that's a generalization. I'm a man but I can't tell you how another man would necessarily feel about a given situation. We're all individuals. We don't possess genetic memories. Although I agree that each gender may have unique tendencies or qualities, i.e., young boys tend to be more aggressive/assertive than young girls. But for all I know, that could have just as much to do with nurture as nature. I don't know.

That is true because no one can know all the people.

I should have written that it is my experience that a woman can act very selfishly.

 

[assari]

im pretty sure assari didnt mean anything negative with this thread.

reading the comments he has made, i believe the language barrier is making it easier for some things to be taken slightly out of context

That is true.

I understand the English words, but I can accidentally write such way that my comments seem completely contradictary.