Cheating Boyfriend - second chance?

Any thoughts?

I have been dating this guy for three months. (new rel.) We spend every weekend together and it's been really nice. I've seem to like him only 60-75% of the time but in the last few days I began to feel alot closer. :) He introduces me to everyone as his gf which made me happy. He is a super geek which takes some getting used to but its been a nice change too.

Now last night I just found out that he kissed two different chics in a bar one month ago, while I was away on vacation for three nights. (So we had been seeing each other for 8 weeks by this point) :crying:

What bothers me is that he didn't stop at one chic and feel any guilt, he even went on and did it again with a second girl - tried to get them home/failed. Then he texted them both for dates a few days later. What also bothers me is that the second Im outta town, he went for it, straight to a bar and full steam ahead.

It all came out because I asked a few questions after he mentioned he had planned lunch with 'a friend'. I asked more about this friend, where they met etc. He told me that he met her while he was dating me, initially thought there was something there with this girl, but now realises that there isn't and he is not attracted to her so they have stayed friends and do lunch sometimes and that lately he has become alot closer to me/wants me. <rolls eyes>

He knew I was getting suspicious of him, so he fessed up to kissing those two girls in a bar while I was away. It seems like 'lunch girl' may have been one of them.

I asked him if he ever cheated on his ex gf and he said yes. Great. Bad pattern developing here.

I've noticed he also logs into an adult dating site once a month. Not cool.

He said he knows he needs to redeem himself and win back my trust and that he will do all sorts of things to do it. So far this morning he has deleted all dating applications on Facebook etc. then emailed me before he went to lunch to say he was going alone lol.

Anyway, I am super wary. I have spelled out exactly what I expect in a rel, and I like to give everyone a second chance but I am wary of wasting time and getting deeper and getting hurt.

Makes it a bit more complicated that its real early days - when we're all usually establishing how we feel about someone. :confused:
 
Fuck that guy. If he's done it before, he'll do it again. What's to say he won't start a new Facebook profile that you don't know about? I think you should tell him to go fuck himself. You can do better than him. :2 cents:
 

Torre82

Moderator \ Jannie
Staff member
::runs away from this topic::

I have nothing constructive to say about any of it.. well maybe..

Follow your heart until someone breaks it. Then learn from it.

I fucking hate my heart. Always hopeful.. always crushed in the beginning, middle and end. Pisses me off constantly. Eh, dangit, I knew I had nothing constructive to say. ::truly clicks and runs::
 
He sounds like a bit of a shit to me.Maybe going out and being seen with you has got him noticed and other girls are talking to him.If he`s cheated before,he`ll do it again.Dump him,he`s no good enough for you.
 

Mr. Daystar

In a bell tower, watching you through cross hairs.
Depends. If you've sat down and had a talk about being exclusive, and he has no right to see anyone else, then lose him. He'll do it again, if you've never had that talk, he's not cheating...but neither would you be!
 
I am not the forgiving type, I would say fuck him/her and move on. If you are supposedly committed to each other, they would not have done that, and certainly not have continued to do that by going to dating sites.

Also, Kaoken19 just broke up with his gf, maybe you could pm him?:lovecoupl
 

tartanterrier

Is somewhere outhere.
Once and cheater always a cheater.You can't make him change unless
you've accepted of what he does.

But if I were you I'd kick him into touch ;)
 
I was all ready to say, "Dump him. He'll do it again." But then I read how long you two had been dating. Two months? I gotta admit, I was still keeping my options open for about the first two months that my wife and I dated (i.e. still accepting phone numbers, not closing dating site accounts, etc). I can't say I kissed anybody during that time, but then again different people put different value in a kiss. Relationships don't always mature evenly... just because a girl is far more committed to a young relationship than the guy she's with doesn't mean the guy won't end up at the same place given enough time. Like I said, that's how it was with my wife and I: she was head-over-heels in love from Day 1... I grew to love her over the course of about three months.

So I would say, if you really like this guy, if you really see potential in the relationship, and (most importantly) if you can forgive him for cheating, then give it a little more time and see if his behavior changes. This may have been exactly the wake-up call he needed to make him realize what he has in you.
 
I think you should get revenge by doing a MMF threesome. Now where do you live? I keed, I keed! ;)

Even better, get the 2 chicks he kissed and have a girl on girl on girl three-way that he's not invited to.! :D
 
Any thoughts?

I have been dating this guy for three months. (new rel.) We spend every weekend together and it's been really nice. I've seem to like him only 60-75% of the time but in the last few days I began to feel alot closer. :) He introduces me to everyone as his gf which made me happy. He is a super geek which takes some getting used to but its been a nice change too.

Now last night I just found out that he kissed two different chics in a bar one month ago, while I was away on vacation for three nights. (So we had been seeing each other for 8 weeks by this point) :crying:

What bothers me is that he didn't stop at one chic and feel any guilt, he even went on and did it again with a second girl - tried to get them home/failed. Then he texted them both for dates a few days later. What also bothers me is that the second Im outta town, he went for it, straight to a bar and full steam ahead.

It all came out because I asked a few questions after he mentioned he had planned lunch with 'a friend'. I asked more about this friend, where they met etc. He told me that he met her while he was dating me, initially thought there was something there with this girl, but now realises that there isn't and he is not attracted to her so they have stayed friends and do lunch sometimes and that lately he has become alot closer to me/wants me. <rolls eyes>

He knew I was getting suspicious of him, so he fessed up to kissing those two girls in a bar while I was away. It seems like 'lunch girl' may have been one of them.

I asked him if he ever cheated on his ex gf and he said yes. Great. Bad pattern developing here.

I've noticed he also logs into an adult dating site once a month. Not cool.

He said he knows he needs to redeem himself and win back my trust and that he will do all sorts of things to do it. So far this morning he has deleted all dating applications on Facebook etc. then emailed me before he went to lunch to say he was going alone lol.

Anyway, I am super wary. I have spelled out exactly what I expect in a rel, and I like to give everyone a second chance but I am wary of wasting time and getting deeper and getting hurt.

Makes it a bit more complicated that its real early days - when we're all usually establishing how we feel about someone. :confused:
I'm open for revenge sex. :D
 
Before you went on your vacation was he introducing you as his girlfriend?

He could have thought before that you guys were just casual.
 

IsobelWren

Official Checked Star Member
My standard response to this is to start an open relationship. You guys should both be allowed to see other ppl. lol
 
Sorry but no 2nd Chance, not even that thought of giving a 2nd Chance. But don't react by cheating him too. You just get down to his degree if you do that.

Fuck that guy! Fucking son of bitch. Cheating guys are disgrace to us, the noble men.
 
I wouldn't put up with that... but maybe at that point he didn't realize you guys were exclusive, so that could be the problem. Just have a talk with him and see where you guys stand and let him know what you think!
 
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