Books Dr. Suess should have written but didn't

DrakeM

So long and thanks for all the fish
Dr. Seuss aka Theodor Geisel had a wonderful gift for rhyming anything and his illustrations were so bizarre he must have been on acid half the time. Too bad he ****** his talent on ********'s books. Here's a thread for the titles he should have written instead.

The Cat in the Hat is Addicted to Crack
Oh the Places You'll Go and the Girls that You'll Screw
Horton Hears a Whore
If I Ran the KKK
Bartholomew Cubbins and the 500 Whores
How the Grinch Stole My Virginity
The Fart Book

or instead of messing with real titles, how about new ones:

Bartholomew Cubbins Cooks Meth and Other Stories
The Big Book of Bobbies
 

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