The blueprint for threads like this:
"Take it literally"
"Sarcasm post"
"helpful post"
"*****"
"vaguely Indian sounding, non english reply"
"mods do someting abut dis, plz" guy
"animated gif replies"
"one more slightly helpful post before topic locked or moved"
"OP coming back after 11 years to check to see what has grown in this garden... and a look of foul disappoint"