I'd start jacking off and yell out: Yes! ***** me Blueballs, ***** me! I am your slave for the day!!!! Fuck me! Fuck me! Do nasty things to me and shove that *** up my ass and show me what it's like to be a fucking rag!
Cum on me! Now! And then chase the robber down the street yelling all of this out. By the time you are done yelling out the most random sexual perversions your FO educated mind can think of that robber will be calling the police themselves for sexual harassment and fully admit their plot! And how it backfired horribly!