ASAP HELP! How do I bang an christian American girl?

[cockabout]

i saw this in a movie, so it has to work, tell her you think you're gay and have never been attracted to a women until her so she needs to have sex with you to cure your gayness

That's worked for me on more than one occasion

 

[LukeEl]

Also when did getting drunk alot make someone less preppy???

 

[DOA82]

A christian american eh?

Thts right, because using those two pieces of advice the guys on the board can predict the motivations and sexual habits of this one girl.

Can anyone tell me if a black jew would like his chicken sandwich with BBQ or regular mayo?

 

[pete rose]

Very carefully.

 

[maildude]

Most of these "Christian" girls are actually deep-planted operatives in the Russian, Chinese and Palmolive mafia. They claim to read the bible and follow the teachings of Marta Gusta, but in reality they are trying to obliterate your soul. DO NOT ATTEMPT TO HAVE SEX WITH THEM. Because they will acidify your penis until it becomes a pencil eraser. Also, never buy any of their products, including laundry detergent, vitamins, and enrollment discounts at local daycare centers.

 

[guitarstud12345]

heres the step by step guide to having sex with a Christian...trust me, it actually works!!!

1. Ask her out on a date.

2. After dating for a while and having met the parent, give it some time and ask her to marry you.

3. After the wedding on your honeymoon she will definitly sleep with you!

This will work!

PS, drinking has got nothing to do with being preppy! Dont know how her having a drink affects anything?

 

[Johan]

Chloroform, GHB... So many options !

 

[thanksimout]

missionary style

 

[JayJohn85]

Bang her in the ass....Technically she is still a virgin then hence isnt pre-marital

 

[vodkazvictim]

Get her drunk, watch a film you know she'll like together (or pride and prejudice if your not sure) and then work slow. Don't start 4play till she's drunk. Fuck her when she's very drunk.

BTW, I hope your experience of american girls is better than mine; mine simply weren't worth the effort.

 

[StanScratch]

heres the step by step guide to having sex with a Christian...trust me, it actually works!!!

1. Ask her out on a date.

2. After dating for a while and having met the parent, give it some time and ask her to marry you.

3. After the wedding on your honeymoon she will definitly have a headache! Don't worry. This is normal.

4. Her headache will continue after the honeymoon. Later, it will be replaced by a stomach virus, a back ache, the sniffles, the flu, and something known as justfuckinggoaway.

5. Her illness will be replaced with comments such as "Is that all you think about?" and "I've been working all day. I'm too tired." She will also occasionally shower you with such nonsense as "What would jesus do?" and "No matter what, jesus still loves us."

6. The two of you will slowly drift apart, in not only a mental sense, but in a literal sense - within the fifth year, you will be sleeping on the sofa. She will "accidentally" leave her FaceBook page open for you to find, where you will find her profile full of Bible passages, as well as almost daily asks for prayers to help her get out of the hell she calls life.

7. On days she is particularly tired, you will end up taking the kids to their soccer kids (the fact that you have kids without sex has eluded you a long time ago - your brain has sunk to such into such a sexually deprived state of darkness, you no longer have the power to even think about it.).
At the soccer game, you will run into a mom, long deprived of sex herself from her "married to his career" husband - the woman will find your accent somewhat sexy.
Three weeks later, you will be nailing her in the back of the minivan.

It takes patience, but this will work eventually!

Sorry, guitardude, but I had to add the extra steps, which are also quite useful.

 

[tartanterrier]

Better off shagging a catholic because they are even more dirtier

 

[petterka]

hahah, ok ok I knew this would come off pretty weird, but I was just shocked when she said she really was a christian. most people over here are baptised, but most of them don't even think about it a second. to meet a young person who actually pray, go to church, and believe in god kinda blew me away, and I have no idea how to act.

anyway, thanks for the good jokes, I think I'll just ignore the religion part and try my luck.
later.

 

[guitarstud12345]

hahah, ok ok I knew this would come off pretty weird, but I was just shocked when she said she really was a christian. most people over here are baptised, but most of them don't even think about it a second. to meet a young person who actually pray, go to church, and believe in god kinda blew me away, and I have no idea how to act.

anyway, thanks for the good jokes, I think I'll just ignore the religion part and try my luck.
later.

I wasnt joking...if your not planning on having a real relationship with her dont plan on trying to sleep with her, thats not cool, regardless of what any1 else says! And dont ignore that she believes in God, thats a huge slap in her face, rather talk to her about what she believes on the subject and maybe youll be suprised!

 

[emceeemcee]

get yourself a Bush/Cheney shirt?

 

[vodkazvictim]

With a double-barrelled shotgun?
BANG!
BANG!
"Should I reload? I don't need to shoot no more, but why have an empty gun?"

 

[CherylFan]

Haha, why wouldn't I wanna get in her pants? She should know.

What I'm wondering if is girls like this engage in pre-marital or not.

Have you thought of telling her that you`d like to spend the night inserting your cock into her in a variety of positions?