Sure, writing about food all day may sound glamorous, but sometimes this job is hard, people. For example, when we taste ArKay, the world's first *******-free ******, according to its website. First of all, the reasons for this beverage sort of make sense: due to religious or dietary restrictions, not everyone can consume *******. But that doesn't mean they shouldn't be able to at least simulate the taste experience. "We want everyone to know that ArKay is beverage that they can enjoy," stated Zeshan Ahmed, Vice President for ArKay Beverages, in a press release. "Our product conforms to strict Halal standards and the fact that it contains no ******* whatsoever, is just one way that we let the consumer know we are respectful of their needs and beliefs."
However, this taste experience doesn't come close to mimicking what actual ****** tastes like. Our eight intrepid tasters were unanimous in that this *******-free ****** tastes, well, pretty awful. The smell alone was reminiscent of "shoe cleaner" and was "horribly offensive, similar to that of a litter box." The taste made one taster "want to ****." Another said, "This tastes like I'm licking a ***** saddle -- I can't tell if it tastes like leather or shoe polish."
The ingredients are: water, glycerol, natural and artificial flavors, lactic acid, caramel color, potassium sorbate, aspartame and acesulfame.
If you love the taste of ****** but can't ***** it, we recommend that you abstain rather than trying this replica made from artificial and natural flavors. Sometimes, there's just no substitute for the real thing.
