For example, not so many guys will deny Jessica Simpson is pretty. She can be dorky and clumsy, but she is not ugly.
Actually, I find her quite plain, as well as Brittney Spears. But that's just me.
Frankly, I think I am unattractive in many ways. And, frankly, if a woman finds me unattractive, who am I to convince her otherwise? I hold no judgement of her, regardless of whatever judgement she shows myself, in any regard. I'm pretty much open to criticism and, frankly, I'm more worried about what I can change than what I cannot.
Like my weight. I'm struggling as I age. I may still look like I'm in college, even as I approach 40, but the weight is definitely not helping my looks, much less my health long-term. In that regard, if someone finds me ugly because of my weight, I'm guilty as charged but I also know I am at fault for that.
I can some personality quirks that I don't like. I know them. I want to change them. I've changed some, but I also tend to be a bit more prideful on some items than I recognize. My wife regularly works on helping me change what I want to change, although she says she loves me regardless.
So am I ugly? Am I avoiding the question? I honestly have never known. I thought I was, and I even thought I wasn't popular in high school. Some people told me otherwise when I went to my 10 year reunion, while others said that I was too much of a business and computer geek to make up for my being an athlete of the mainstream, American sports I lettered in.
Yet others valued me on what I did. My wife met several women who said they will never forget the night I didn't take advantage of them while they were pissed *****, and made sure they got home okay. I even had an argument with one of their parents when I dropped one off one-time, and I just took the blame so her parents were far more mad at me than her (even though I arrived well after she was already **********). One told me, obviously when my wife wasn't around, that she wanted to ***** with me when she was sober. Another one we met was one I did when she was.
So how do I measure that? Do I go around and add up all the women that wanted to ***** with me, and each a magical number that says I wasn't ugly? I honestly don't know. And I'll never know if it's because of my personality why they did or did not want to ***** with me in high school, in college, in my career for that matter.
So, by default, I assume I'm ugly. If a woman converses with me and we reach a point whereby she conveys otherwise, then I'm flattered. But in reality, my conversations in my professional career never reach that. They never do because I'm the married consultant with the ring sticking out and everyone knows I won't even got to lunch with a female co-worker because of how it looks. All the years I spent around Wall Street, I got a rep with the other consultants that ProfV doesn't even do adult bars, etc...
Doesn't mean I'm conservative. Doesn't mean I don't desire. Doesn't mean I don't go, "damn I'd love to fuck her" in my mind. Hell, when the guys pressured me enough, I usually shocked them who I went for, let alone who didn't impress me. A few times that got me into trouble because the "lesser appreciated" beauty is someone who may like myself as well (and some guys cannot be mature enough when they find out). Julia Roberts, Cameron Diaz, many other actresses, not attractive to me at all (I actually find Julia a tad repulsive). I'm sure they'd probably say the same (or worse) about me, and most would think I'm stupid for even thinking that way (let alone don't have the room to say such).
So be it. I have my lover. After 15 years she gives me even a harder boner than when I first met her. And she seems to think I'm attractive in her eyes, which is the only thing I really value anymore.