I would have just said there's a man on the wing of this plane like William Shatner and John Lithgow did in that Twilight Zone episode titled Terror At 20,000 Feet (and I apologize if the title is incorrect) to get myself fired.
Steven Slater flew into a rage after a passenger tried to retrieve their luggage from an overhead locker too early, and went on to 'resign' in the most unambiguous manner.
Slater is cuffed and strapped into the back of a New York City Police Department van after being arrested
Having worked for an airline, I certainly know how fucked in the head passengers can sometimes be. Just sit down until the aircraft comes to a complete stop. How hard is that?