Americans Are Not Properly Cleaning Their Anuses'

Straight Shooter

Straight Shooter

Experts warn that toilet paper does little to remove ***** and the United States is one country that hasn't improved its sanitation when wiping.

While countries such as Japan, Italy and Greece use bidets in the toilets as a way to keep the anus clean, the US has mostly relied on toilet paper as the norm to keep that area clean.

But doctors say excessive wiping could cause health problems such as anal fissures and urinary tract infections.

Though the suggestion may sound absurd, *********** such as will.i.am, Will Smith and Terrence Howard have been vouching for baby wipes instead of tissue for years - with Smith even hailing the habit as 'special and incredible'.

Toilet bidets are one sanitation device that countries such as Italy, Spain and Greece have implemented in most bathrooms to clean the anus after using the bathroom.

According to Tonic, 90 percent of households in Italy, Spain and Greece have a bidet installed in their bathroom for cleaning.

This device squirts water into the area to make cleaning with toilet paper easier.

But it is not as easy to find one of these in a restroom in the United States.

Bidet suppliers have reported that moving into the American market has been more difficult because most people are satisfied with just using toilet paper.

Rose George, author of The Big Necessity: The Unmentionable World of Human Waste and Why It Matters, told Tonic why using toilet paper doesn't remove ***** like it should.

'I find it rather baffling that millions of people are walking around with dirty anuses while thinking they are clean,' George said. 'Toilet paper moves sh*t, but it doesn't remove it.'

Will.i.am said in a past interview with Elle Magazine that baby wipes are what most people should consider using in terms of wiping.

'Here's proof on why people should have baby wipes. Get some chocolate, wipe it on a wooden floor, and then try to get it up with some dry towels. You're going to get chocolate in the cracks. That's why you gotta get them baby wipes,' will.i.am said.

Actor Terrence Howard went as far as to say in an Elle Magazine interview that he didn't trust women who used toilet paper.

‘If they’re using dry paper, they aren’t washing all of themselves. It’s just unclean. So if I go in a woman’s house and see the toilet paper there, I’ll explain this,' Howard said.
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Now I don't feel so weird for washing my ass every time I drop a deuce. Wash your anuses' you filthy Americans
 
IVe been using adult wet wipes in a addition to dry toilet paper for years. Been meaning to buy an attachable bidet.
 
animus fox said:
Wet paper towels.

squeaky clean here.

No skid marks in my boxers, just the crusty socks under the bed.
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Dry paper towel makes my crack *****, I should wet it too.
Skid marks, I miss being a ***.

Toilet paper is fine as long as your finger doesn't rip through on a stroke. Then we're talking about people not washing hands.
I already clean 3 toilets in my house from **** and a wife. No fucken way am I adding a budet that these **** or wife will just splash ass water all over the floor.
 
It's a fact that's known all over the world : Americans are full of ****
 
Do any of the major world religions address proper anus cleaning in their sacred texts? I'm sure The Creator (of whichever religion) had instructions for the proper way to go about it.
 
xfire said:
Do any of the major world religions address proper anus cleaning in their sacred texts? I'm sure The Creator (of whichever religion) had instructions for the proper way to go about it.
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Shinto does: "THOU SHALT SQUAT AND WASH THY JUNK LIKE AMATERASU YOUR GODDESS." Seriously. :: keeps straight face ::
 
I usually tear off a page of "What Happened," dampen it, and go to town on my gooch.
 
I’m in a shitty bind. On one hand my anus has severe intolerance for certain brand toilet paper. On the other hand, I know those wet wipes create another set of problems for the age of anthropocene. Throwing away plastic microfiber, that doesn’t ******* overtime , creating issues for the environment and creating headaches for city sanitation. Creating fatburgs and what not. Anyways, my local city college uses Georgia Pacific toilet paper. I fucking loath applying it to my bottom. A very generic brand. Probably cheap as hell. It feels like wiping my ass with razor blades.

I would love to see more Bidets in America, but I think trying to import that contraption into America is too *****. Too sophiscated for America. "A machine that spits in my ass after a dookie. *Scoffs* Never." Probably too much to maintain anyways. People jamming up the buttons with the ***** and ****. It amazing in my city how long a toilet seats remain on the toilet. It like people deliberately enjoy distroying public property.
 
cornytone said:
I’m in a shitty bind. On one hand my anus has severe intolerance for certain brand toilet paper. On the other hand, I know those wet wipes create another set of problems for the age of anthropocene. Throwing away plastic microfiber, that doesn’t ******* overtime , creating issues for the environment and creating headaches for city sanitation. Creating fatburgs and what not. Anyways, my local city college uses Georgia Pacific toilet paper. I fucking loath applying it to my bottom. A very generic brand. Probably cheap as hell. It feels like wiping my ass with razor blades.

I would love to see more Bidets in America, but I think trying to import that contraption into America is too *****. Too sophiscated for America. "A machine that spits in my ass after a dookie. *Scoffs* Never." Probably too much to maintain anyways. People jamming up the buttons with the ***** and ****. It amazing in my city how long a toilet seats remain on the toilet. It like people deliberately enjoy distroying public property.
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I highly recommend Dude Wipes
 
Dry paper and cleansing lotion to finish. If you can't keep your rusty bullet hole clean then you have problems.
 
I like my butthole to be kept moderately clean so it’s not itchy. I do like to get some skiddies on my underwears so I can better keep track of how many days I have worn them.

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I've never seen one work, so here is what I wonder. Okay, let's say that some dude with some industrial strength diarrhea took a majorly splattering crap on said bidet. NOW ... is there some automatic cleaning mechanism that's gonna make that bidet completely safe for the next person to use? Or is the next and the next and the next person gonna be having diarrhea splatter remnants from that 1st dude being sprayed into their buttholes?

It'd be like if someone ******* on the spout of a water fountain and now just because water is shooting out of the spout ... it's supposed to be safe for the rest of the people to *****?

Like I said, I've seriously never seen one in action. So maybe I'm missing something that covers the safe & hygienic base.
 
The toilet is a microcosm of human state of affairs. It's artifical. It's modern. Poorly concieved. The erognomics of toilets is counterinitative with our foodways. We pride our selves in eating processed food and we don't even have the proper ergonomics of a toilet to **** it out or the means of grabbing and disposing of ****. It is all flawed. Like they want you to purchase more of their products. Can't go dookie. Here a dookie seat for you. Premium Link Upgrade Can't wipe your ass with sandpaper here is a wet wipe you gullible little ****.

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