Am I justified?

[grower_boy]

I'm making this thread to ask about some issues I've been having with a friend of mine. If you guys don't mind, I would like your input on whether or not I am justified in the way I am handling it.

This person is someone I have essentially known my entire life; we've lived in the same neighborhood since 4th grade and went to the same schools together. I feel like our friendship really peaked during high school. We would always hang out after school, doing random shit all over town. Sometimes we would hang out with other people, and other times it would just be us. Either way, we usually had a good time. I graduated from high school in 2009, and I feel like that was when we started growing apart from each other (he was supposed to graduate in '09 as well, but stayed back an extra year). That summer he started hanging out with "cooler" friends and actually stood me up a few times, which caused me to lose a lot of respect for him. For the rest of 2009 and 2010, he was out partying with these friends while I basically did my own thing. However, we started hanging out again in 2011 and have hung out even more this year, like it's high school all over again. Lately I feel like I'm being used. Every time he needs any kind of favor or any amount of money, he texts me repeatedly and tells me I'm "fucked up" if I don't help him right away. Every time we're out late at night, he expects me to buy him stuff from 7-eleven.

Sunday night is what caused me to reach my boiling point. He promised me he had 7 dollars on him and that he didn't need anything from the store. That turned out to be a lie, but he promised me he had a bottle of liquor at his house. I go to his house and there's no liquor whatsoever; I end up eating some damn cake that I didn't even want and he acts like he's doing me a huge favor by letting me eat it. I got pissed off and left, and the next night he wants me to come outside during the middle of a little show called Monday Night Raw. He said "I came outside for you last night" when it was his idea to come outside.

The whole thing has got me so pissed off that I have been ignoring most of his texts, even the ones where he said he needed money for heart medicine. I don't feel like hanging out anymore either. Am I in the right for feeling that way?

 

[STDiva]

The dude sounds like a flake. I'd call him out on it. Don't let nostalgia cloud your mind with people like these.

 

[Moonchild22]

The dude sounds like a flake. I'd call him out on it. Don't let nostalgia cloud your mind with people like these.

My thoughts exactly. I went through something similar with someone. I have no tolerance for people who think their friends owe them anything. Friends aren't supposed to 'owe' you anything. Practically acting like he died for your sins. Trust me, he'll keep up with that behavior as long as you let him.

 

[Death-Proof-69]

The dude sounds like a flake. I'd call him out on it. Don't let nostalgia cloud your mind with people like these.

yeah man. there's too many other people out there to potentially call friends, you don't need to deal with a leech in your life if it's causing you stress. You Might try talking to him about it and it might work for a bit but don't be surprised if just gets pissed off at you or if it only works for a short time.

 

[gunslingingbird]

He's just taking advantage of you. Now, I know from personal experience that it's hard to see that someone you care about is taking advantage of you, but that's life. Sometimes those we care about are the ones who hit us hardest. I would recommend trying to phase this person out of your life for your own sake. The last thing you need is someone making you feel guilty for their mistakes.

I just wish I could heed my own advice in my life.

 

[Mayhem]

School buddies are a tough gig. If this guy has his own place, then I'd say he's lookjing for people to replace his parents. If he's stil at home, 'nuff said.

I say change your phone number.

 

[DJCowboy]

I end up eating some damn cake that I didn't even want and he acts like he's doing me a huge favor by letting me eat it.

At least the cake wasn't a lie (Portal reference, sorry)


Dude sounds like a douche. Ditch him or just tell him you're not paying for his shit anymore, he makes you feel like an asshole for not paying for him? Tell him only a shitty girlfriend does that so if he wants to become a couple he'll just have to grow a vagina, a nice pair of tits and give you head for that $20

 

[grower_boy]

The dude sounds like a flake. I'd call him out on it. Don't let nostalgia cloud your mind with people like these.

Good point. He's not the same guy he was back in high school, and that's for damn sure.

My thoughts exactly. I went through something similar with someone. I have no tolerance for people who think their friends owe them anything. Friends aren't supposed to 'owe' you anything. Practically acting like he died for your sins. Trust me, he'll keep up with that behavior as long as you let him.

Yeah, that's what I'm afraid of. I have tried explaining to him time and time again that you're not supposed to give someone something so you can rub it in their face later on, but he just doesn't get it.

yeah man. there's too many other people out there to potentially call friends, you don't need to deal with a leech in your life if it's causing you stress. You Might try talking to him about it and it might work for a bit but don't be surprised if just gets pissed off at you or if it only works for a short time.

I feel like when these problems arise, he's always cool for a little while. Then it's back to constantly asking me for stuff.

He's just taking advantage of you. Now, I know from personal experience that it's hard to see that someone you care about is taking advantage of you, but that's life. Sometimes those we care about are the ones who hit us hardest. I would recommend trying to phase this person out of your life for your own sake. The last thing you need is someone making you feel guilty for their mistakes.

I just wish I could heed my own advice in my life.

Is someone doing this sort of thing to you?

School buddies are a tough gig. If this guy has his own place, then I'd say he's lookjing for people to replace his parents. If he's stil at home, 'nuff said.

I say change your phone number.

He still lives at home.

At least the cake wasn't a lie (Portal reference, sorry)


Dude sounds like a douche. Ditch him or just tell him you're not paying for his shit anymore, he makes you feel like an asshole for not paying for him? Tell him only a shitty girlfriend does that so if he wants to become a couple he'll just have to grow a vagina, a nice pair of tits and give you head for that $20

:1orglaugh

 

[TheSpokenWheel]

People change when they grow up sometimes for the better, sometimes for the worse. I had a similar situation with a kid who was my best friend since 1st grade. In 10th grade we had a bit of a fight just before he moved away. He only moved about an hour out of town, but because he was now attending a different school and we'd been fighting, we didn't speak for a year or so. When we finally re-connected, he'd changed quite a bit. A lot more drinking and hanging out with morons. He's still pretty cool and a somewhat close friend, but its a lot different now when I see him.

In your situation, I'd either try to let him know that he's gotta cut the shit or just cut him loose altogether. You can't keep people from changing, as much as you'd like to, but perhaps you can let him know you think he's changing for the worse.

 

[Death-Proof-69]

for what it's worth i'm not close to hardly any of my high school friends anymore. i'm still friends to an extent with most of them. civil at least but so much has changed with most of us that we hardly even know each other and it's just an awkward situation when we run into each other. that's how it goes though. i found that of the people i went to school with that i ever spend much time with are people i didn't really know then ironically.

 

[bahodeme]

It's time to cut him loose. He started flaking out on you after you left high school. He might have been the same way with his "cooler" friends and they got rid of him. Therefore returning to "Ol' Reliable" you. For what it's worth, you are not the first person to come to this crossroad nor will you be the last.

 

[bobjustbob]

Dude calls me up and says that he is being tossed out of his place by the end of the day. Seems that the house-mates he was paying rent to never paid the landlord. We grab his stuff and I move him in with me. I tell him no rent. Save your money to get another place. Always food in the fridge. If you need cash then I will keep a tab and it is a loan. This is a 1 BR apartment. I work overnight and he works during the day. I would come home from work and wait for him to get himself up and out the door to get my bed back. Not a big deal, just a little inconvenient. I'm helping a guy out.

This started in early June. Mid August he says it may be another month or so till he finds a place that's right. I tell him,"Dude, It's time to go. 2 weeks notice." I help him move into his new place. Now over the course of time I would pick up some eggs or soda or little shit for him when I went to the store. I'm not going to tab this little shit. The tab ends up to be a VERY rounded down $65. He says he will have it for me next week. Cool.

I go to his place to pick up my cash and he says that something happened to his check and he will have it for me next week. I'm heading down to AC and that money would have been nice to have. I don't think that I should have to chase my own money. I tell him to stop by and drop it off. 3 months later he knocks at my door looking to charge his cell phone. I ask if he has my $65 and he says no. I tell him to come back and charge his phone when he has my 65 bucks. That was a year and a half ago. Amazing how some people have such short memories.

Bob.

 

[squallumz]

blah blah blah text blah

didnt read!

but im voting for slap him!

 

[Mr. Daystar]

I'll put it like this. I'm 47...my best friend now, is the same best friend I had in high school. We have in the past, not talked for extended periods of time, but for no reason, and picked right up where we left off. If I needed this guy to bail me out at 3 in the morning, or back me up for ANY reason, he would be there RIGHT NOW.

Do you see this guy being there ANY TIME, for ANY REASON? If not, he's not your best friend, and if he only hangs out with you because of things you provide....you're basically his sugar daddy.

Remember, the difference between a friend, and a best friend...........A friend will help you move, a best friend will help you move a body.

 

[Supafly]

I have dropped 'friends' like this guy over the years. Too many people who just want to take advantage of people. I am always eager to lend a hend, and, well, I learnt how to proffesionally paint and so on, and I always help when people move to a new appertment, funny enough, many times when I move, they can't make it etc.

Just stop calling them and thell them straight out: Don't call me again.

 

[georges]

If someone tries to screw you up then slaping the greed out of him correctly is a necessity. Someone who tries to leech you off or ask you money or only take advantage of you can't be a friend. I have seen some people wanting me to lend them money and propose me their friendship, I told them that I wasn't mother theresa nor the charity hospital and that they have to learn how to manage their own money. Never had anyone taken advantage of me because I always put points on i and a bars on t, in real life I always warn people that I value honesty and frankness but if they try to screw me once or play with fire, they will get it coming in an unpleasant way.

 

[alexpnz]

School buddies are best left in school.
Ok for the once in a while for the "like the good ol' days" get together.

People change IMMENSELY after High School.

3 of my High School best friends live in the SAME fucking town as me and I no longer see or talk to any of them.
Don't fall the "we're old buddies and I need a hand out" okey doke.
Tell that motherfucker to kick rocks and you'll see him at his funeral....maybe.
It it what it is...

 

[stephut3]

I had a friend like that once. The creepy texting part of it was why I
stopped being friends with the asshole. I found out a few years later
that he was trying to make people think we were gay. I sure found
out who my real friends were back then. Good luck Bro, and watch out
for the back door faggotry.

 

[andy42s]

He doesn't sound like a true friend. I'd 86 him

 

[Ace Boobtoucher]