Jagger69
Three lullabies in an ancient tongue
Lists are already out. Here's one....
2006 Darwin Awards
Here are this year’s Darwin Awards …..
the annual honor given to the person who improved the “gene pool” the most by killing themselves in the most extraordinarily stupid way. As always, competition this year has been keen.
And the candidates this year are …..
* In Detroit , a 41-year-old man got stuck and drowned in two feet of water
after squeezing head first through an 18-inch-wide sewer grate to retrieve
his car keys.
* A 49-year-old San Francisco stockbroker, who “totally zoned when he ran”
….. accidentally jogged off a 100-foot-high cliff on his daily run.
* Buxton , NC : A man died on a beach when an 8-foot-deep hole he had dug
into the sand caved in as he sat inside it. Beach-goers said Daniel Jones,
21, dug the hole for fun, or protection from the wind, and had been sitting
in a beach chair at the bottom Thursday afternoon when it collapsed, burying
him beneath 5 feet of sand. People on the beach on the outer banks, used
their hands and shovels, trying to claw their way to Jones, a resident of
Woodbridge , VA , but could not reach him. It took rescue workers using
heavy equipment almost an hour to free him while about 200 people looked on.
Jones was pronounced dead at a hospital.
* Santiago Alvarado, 24, was killed in Lompoc , CA as he fell face-first
through the ceiling of a bicycle shop he was burglarizing. Death was caused
when the long flashlight he had placed in his mouth to keep his hands free)
rammed into the base of his skull as he hit the floor.
* Sylvester Briddell, Jr., 26, was killed in Selbyville , Delaware as he won
a bet with friends who said he would not put a revolver loaded with four
bullets into his mouth and pull the trigger.
HONORABLE MENTION:
* Paul Stiller, 47, was hospitalized in Andover township, NJ, and his wife
Bonnie was also injured, when a quarter-stick of dynamite blew up in their
car. While driving around 2 AM, the bored couple lit the dynamite and tried
to toss it out the window to see what would happen, but apparently failed to
notice the window was closed.
* RUNNER UP:
* TACOMA , WA ….. Kerry Bingham had been drinking with several friends
when one of them said they knew a person who had bungee-jumped from the
Tacoma Narrows Bridge in the middle of traffic. The conversation grew more
heated and at least 10 men trooped along the walkway of the bridge at 4:30
AM. Upon arrival at the midpoint of the bridge, they discovered that no one
had brought a bungee rope. Bingham, who had continued drinking, volunteered
and pointed out that a coil of lineman’s cable lay nearby. One end of the
cable was secured around Bingham’s leg and the other end was tied to the
bridge. His fall lasted 40 feet before the cable tightened and tore his
foot off at the ankle. He miraculously survived his fall into the icy river
water and was rescued by two nearby fishermen. “All I can say” said Bingham,
“is that God was watching out for me on that night. There’s just no other
explanation for it.” Bingham’s foot was never located.
AND THE WINNER:
*Overzealous zookeeper Friedrich Riesfeldt (Paderborn, Germany) fed his
constipated elephant Stefan 22 doses of animal laxative and more than a
bushel of berries, figs and prunes before the plugged-up pachyderm finally
let it fly, and suffocated the keeper under 200 pounds of poop!
Investigators say ill-fated Friedrich, 46, was attempting to give the ailing
elephant an olive oil enema when the relieved beast unloaded on him. “The
sheer force of the elephant’s unexpected defecation knocked Mr. Riesfeldt to
the ground, where he struck his head on a rock and lay unconscious as the
elephant continued to evacuate his bowels on top of him,” said flabbergasted
Paderborn police detective Erik Dern. With no one there to help him, he lay
under all that dung for at least an hour before a watchman came along, and
during that time he suffocated. It seems to be just one of those freak
accidents that proves that “Shit happens!”
2006 Darwin Awards
Here are this year’s Darwin Awards …..
the annual honor given to the person who improved the “gene pool” the most by killing themselves in the most extraordinarily stupid way. As always, competition this year has been keen.
And the candidates this year are …..
* In Detroit , a 41-year-old man got stuck and drowned in two feet of water
after squeezing head first through an 18-inch-wide sewer grate to retrieve
his car keys.
* A 49-year-old San Francisco stockbroker, who “totally zoned when he ran”
….. accidentally jogged off a 100-foot-high cliff on his daily run.
* Buxton , NC : A man died on a beach when an 8-foot-deep hole he had dug
into the sand caved in as he sat inside it. Beach-goers said Daniel Jones,
21, dug the hole for fun, or protection from the wind, and had been sitting
in a beach chair at the bottom Thursday afternoon when it collapsed, burying
him beneath 5 feet of sand. People on the beach on the outer banks, used
their hands and shovels, trying to claw their way to Jones, a resident of
Woodbridge , VA , but could not reach him. It took rescue workers using
heavy equipment almost an hour to free him while about 200 people looked on.
Jones was pronounced dead at a hospital.
* Santiago Alvarado, 24, was killed in Lompoc , CA as he fell face-first
through the ceiling of a bicycle shop he was burglarizing. Death was caused
when the long flashlight he had placed in his mouth to keep his hands free)
rammed into the base of his skull as he hit the floor.
* Sylvester Briddell, Jr., 26, was killed in Selbyville , Delaware as he won
a bet with friends who said he would not put a revolver loaded with four
bullets into his mouth and pull the trigger.
HONORABLE MENTION:
* Paul Stiller, 47, was hospitalized in Andover township, NJ, and his wife
Bonnie was also injured, when a quarter-stick of dynamite blew up in their
car. While driving around 2 AM, the bored couple lit the dynamite and tried
to toss it out the window to see what would happen, but apparently failed to
notice the window was closed.
* RUNNER UP:
* TACOMA , WA ….. Kerry Bingham had been drinking with several friends
when one of them said they knew a person who had bungee-jumped from the
Tacoma Narrows Bridge in the middle of traffic. The conversation grew more
heated and at least 10 men trooped along the walkway of the bridge at 4:30
AM. Upon arrival at the midpoint of the bridge, they discovered that no one
had brought a bungee rope. Bingham, who had continued drinking, volunteered
and pointed out that a coil of lineman’s cable lay nearby. One end of the
cable was secured around Bingham’s leg and the other end was tied to the
bridge. His fall lasted 40 feet before the cable tightened and tore his
foot off at the ankle. He miraculously survived his fall into the icy river
water and was rescued by two nearby fishermen. “All I can say” said Bingham,
“is that God was watching out for me on that night. There’s just no other
explanation for it.” Bingham’s foot was never located.
AND THE WINNER:
*Overzealous zookeeper Friedrich Riesfeldt (Paderborn, Germany) fed his
constipated elephant Stefan 22 doses of animal laxative and more than a
bushel of berries, figs and prunes before the plugged-up pachyderm finally
let it fly, and suffocated the keeper under 200 pounds of poop!
Investigators say ill-fated Friedrich, 46, was attempting to give the ailing
elephant an olive oil enema when the relieved beast unloaded on him. “The
sheer force of the elephant’s unexpected defecation knocked Mr. Riesfeldt to
the ground, where he struck his head on a rock and lay unconscious as the
elephant continued to evacuate his bowels on top of him,” said flabbergasted
Paderborn police detective Erik Dern. With no one there to help him, he lay
under all that dung for at least an hour before a watchman came along, and
during that time he suffocated. It seems to be just one of those freak
accidents that proves that “Shit happens!”
