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It's overdue, I know. But I'm ready and willing, and a little drunk, so let's do this thing! You guys already know me as kind of a smartass on here, but I want to show off my dirty streak too (and it's a big one) so I'm willing to whore myself out to you pervs for free. I'll mostly write in...

Guess you missed the signup for the party with me and Cathy of Cathys Craving we're doing next Wed.? Keep an eye out, we're always shooting in Phx, Vegas and LA!

Thanks for all the welcome backs guys!

Not interested in giving up BBC but I'll take yours as well ;-) Thanks for the welcome back!

I'm easy, I'd do it for nine hundred million. Look, I just saved him $100 million. (Honestly, I'd do it for fun, but I'm also a money whore ;-)

The day we get smellovision, I'm all over it.

Doesn't matter if you're a mod or not, you're cute and I'll suck on those boobs ANY day ;-)

Glad I could ... entertain you?

Well, it's a day late, but it IS a sports jersey (all your Red Wings haters can suck it....) Enjoy STDiva!

I'm just glad you'll have me ML! ;-)

Next trip to Amsterdam, I'm all over it, I promise ;-)

Put your dick in my mouth and we'll be even ;-)

Pic for you tomorrow Diva, but no freakin way will it be Lakers! ;-P

I'm working on some way to stick a sparkler in my ass with some coconut sprinkled on top...I'll keep thinking....

I bet I could make it come out the way you want. Hehe.

My knees are kinda sore doc, how bout if I lay on my bed with my head hanging over the side, and you throat-fuck me that way?

I see what you mean Rey/I'd much rather shoot with her than my actual sister! ;-) And Holly has those cute little areola that I wish I had!

thanks xfire! And thanks for not holding it against me. Although sometimes I like it held against me...

See, I come through...it's not an Abe hat, and it's not a ham sandwich (peanut butter and walnuts!) but hey, it's the best I could do!

Glad to have you back Alanna.For going away i`m afraid i`ll have to spank you.xxx I'm always up for a spanking hiropro...just not too hard, I bruise easily! ;-)

Do you have one of those tall Abe Lincoln hats? A pic of you wearing one of those eating a ham sandwich. Forgiveness has it's price. Hmm...no stove pipe hats. Would a silly hat do? The ham sandwich is no problem...

Nope, no FreeOnes gear (yet!) But I've hears Petra slaps pretty hard, and I've also heard Roald is kind of a delicate guy so let's not instigate anything ;-) (j/k!!) I'll work on some FO fan pics today...that would be easier than a week of car washes! Thanks for the compliment Rey!

So...it's been a long, long time since I've spent time on FO. I could give you lots of excuses, like it's tough to find time when you're busy shooting and running a website and all that stuff, but honestly, I just didn't get on here when I should have. Will you guys forgive me if I promise to...

Hey King! Thanks so much for the birthday wish! Love the dancing icons lol. I plan on being on here more often! woohoo!;-) xox Alanna

I love that I'm the BIG TITTIES girl - with my little 36Bs!

In case you haven't heard, Middle Men is a movie out this weekend about the birth of the online porn industry. A friend sent me the R-rated trailer for the movie and about 58 seconds in...there I am! Now I'll have to go see it just so I can see if I'm in the movie LMAO... You can see the trailer...

Rep me once and lick me twice, and we're even, k? ;-)

My official title is 'Lord Empress Of Nymphomania, goddess of deepthroat, slinger of semen, swallower of all that is good, her highness Queen of Dirty Alanna The Nympho'. I win. ;-)

Apparently this thread was from six years ago, so I didnt bother reading the whole thing...but HUGE HUGE HUGE clits are called 'small penises'

There's a big difference between 'amateur' porn and LA porn. I've done both...for several years. If you're going to LA porn - whether labeled amateur or not - you'll be required to have an AIM test (and AIM, not anything else). If you're not in LA and shooting in, say, Green Bay...

How about you just call me Alanna? Why use a derogatory name? What have I ever done to you? Do I call you a wish-you-had-real-pussy wanker just because you masturbate to vids/pics of porn stars?

$29.95 for a month's worth on my website. Cheaper than a lapdance. :1orglaugh

Sorry, I retired from dancing. I only do hardcore now ;-) :nanner:

I remember you. You're the one who came in his pants, aren't you? :eek:

I worked at DejaVu for six years. You did mean the strip club chain, right?

LOL we all wish all swingers were young, hot and into us. Most are 40+ and not winning any beauty contests, but we've had some fun with some VERY hot couples. But I'm more into a person's personality (like whether or not they're egotistical jerks!) than looks...I'm not a picky person, I like all...

hehe wiffleball is the only kind of ball I can play! (well, non-sexually anyway lol)

Thanks Shifty I feel better now. My guess was most guys don't think I'm being serious (and I really am!). I'd be happy to answer any questions you guys might have about swinging - heck, hubby's even written a book!

And yeah, "almost a half-dozen" equals five. Who wants to make it an ACTUAL half-dozen???

So...seriously...what's with all the smartass comments? Are you guys so depressingly negative that you can't answer an honest question honestly? Since I started, I've had sex with almost a half-dozen REAL 30-year-old(+) virgins since I started my website...do you guys REALLY believe that nobody...

Wow, I'm so sorry...there are people in this lifestyle who are in it and shouldn't be - and it sounds like that fits your parents. Sexual lifestyle is a personal choice - I may be bisexual and a swinger, but I wouldn't expect anyone else to enjoy be the same as me!

Aw, darn, I missed the age cut! How you doing Rob? Kisses to the Mrs!

Not even a little bit! Thanks to this new-fangled thing they call the internet, swinging is bigger 'n better than ever! ;-) Try it, you might like it...gotta be better than pullin' your pud over some airbrushed pics of fake-boobed porn stars!

Our thoughts have always been that there is a difference between physical and emotional feelings. We swing because we know that doing physical things with others does not affect our emotional relationship...we can make that separation. There are many people, tho, who have a problem separating...

Conservative area or not, I'll be there are clubs around. Just about every decent-sized town in America (and elsewhere) now seems to have one or more swinger clubs..and yeah, AFF tends to be a lot of BS but we've found swinging to kind of be like dating as couples - you may not find someone...

Our first time at a swinger party it was in the same small (conservative!) town where hubby worked as a newspaper reporter. We were so scared someone would recognize us. But as several people told us - if you run into someone you know...well, they're there for the same reason you are! Made us...

Here's one good story: first time I went down on a girl was a swinger party. She smelled and tasted GREAT (I worried about it, just like you guys worry!). Afterwards I told her she smelled like warm fresh bread (it was a compliment!) She thought I meant she was yeasty! Yuck!

Hubby and I have been swingers since before we got married and it's how I got started in the wonderful world o' porn. So how many guys 'n girls here are swingers? If so, for how long and what are your thoughts? If you're not, would you if you had the chance? Not sure what swinging is like? I...

Ouch. And I don't even have testicles and ouch.