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I've never used my Illuminati card at Taco Bell. Did you know if you enter your Illuminati membership number in the Uber app it gives you one free week of rides?

I use my Illuminati card to get discounts at Jiffy Lube and Century Theaters.

QFT. Snowflakes keep trying but he will still be POTUS as long as he wants.

The Man is doing exactly what we hired him to do. And he's doing it well. If a million nutcases lose their **** because he tweets something stupid, it's exactly what he's calculated. He is playing all the dipshits out there like a fucking Stradivarius. He managed to get Lil' Kim to the table...

I was just thinking about bone spurs and some retard's obsession. During the Viet Nam war a man couldn't just go to the draft board and say "I have bone spurs, so please don't draft me." That's not how it worked. A potential draftee would be screened by doctors and the doctors would advise...

Pretty weak, mang. You didn't include Hanoi Jane or Slick Willy. But kudos for including Meathead.

I adore him? No. He's definitely not my first choice, but he is my president and I wish the bullshit on the periphery would go away so the man could do his job. His biggest saving grace is that he isn't Hilldawg or Obama.

After you've finished chugging on a cock, do you normally eat a breath mint?

Not all departments issue tasers to street level cops. Shooting to wound is impractical in that it requires more time to aim and react than it does to neutralize a threat. Wounding a threat with a leg or arm or shoulder shot sounds great but if the bullet goes through and through it may injure...

Not all departments issue tasers to street level cops. Shooting to wound is impractical in that it requires more time to aim and react than it does to neutralize a threat. Wounding a threat with a leg or arm or shoulder shot sounds great but if the bullet goes through and through it may injure...

That fat fuck is the biggest cootie I ever saw. It's a fucking shame he qualifies for a pension on our dime. Time for an Article V Constitutional Convention!

After starting this thread, Ani sent me a PM to apologize. This is my response: This is one of the many reasons I loathe Arizona. Here's a feel good ending for you from Seattle. This is how things should go down. https://www.youtube.com/watch?time_continue=257&v=4G-0jrcqz-g

Why is this not in the Sports subforum? Last I checked, that douchebag isn't a religious or political figure. And it sure would pair nicely with the thread about him getting arrested for soliciting a prostitute.

I never had anything but skepticism for Moore from the start of this **** show. Mo Brooks was the logical choice primarily because Steve Bannon backed Moore. Bannon is not some mastermind or political savant. He was only affiliated with the Trump campaign a short while before the election. He...

Needs tits.

https://twitchy.com/dougp-3137/2017/12/12/wow-these-texts-were-actually-sent-by-fbi-agents-working-on-the-mueller-probe/ Mueller needs to recuse or be fired and the FBI needs to clean house.

Calm down, Pepe.

I tells ya, mang. This week has given me such a schadenboner that I may skip leg day, brah. I think I'll just hit the trampoline. I may just do a little twirl, too. Just watching the spectacle gives me such a euphoric release.

DJ Sour Milk or MC Yeast Infection? Yeah, it's real. I snapped this while heading East on Flamingo. DJs are getting really lazy or dumb when coming up with their names.

I took a moderately sized Zeabfowl earlier. The cleanup was awful. Like trying to get peanut butter out of shag cartpet.

Calm down with that ****, Himmler.

https://twitchy.com/brettt-3136/2017/12/07/rachel-dolezals-2018-wall-calendar-is-a-real-thing-packed-with-dozens-of-black-history-facts/ Somebody went to Glamour Shots and created a calendar choc full o' black history trivia. Every day my soul dies a little from reading **** like this on the...

is that same day ending with an announcement that the DOJ has opened an investigation into Planned Parenthood's ******* activities. It pales in comparison to last November 8th, but it still gives me a chub...

Really? Counter it with a fact. Go ahead. I'll wait. The man's accomplished more in 11 months than Obama did in eight years.

The fuck I do. "Palestine" historically refers to the land of Israel. The Romans called the Jews living there Palestinians in order to dehumanize them and separate them from their heritage. "Palestinians" today are of Syrian, Lebanese, Egyptian and Jordanian heritage. Those squatting fucks...

'Am yisrael chai. For more than twenty years American Presidents have made this promise and finally we have one with guts enough to finally follow through. Jerusalem is the eternal Capitol of Israel and should be recognized as such. Fuck "Palestine." That whole Taylor ***** Act gives me a...

✔️No TPP ✔️3% GDP ✔️Historic DOW highs ✔️Consumer confidence �� ✔️Jewish capital of Jerusalem ✔️Border arrests at 45-year low ✔️Lowest cap for refugees since 1980 ✔️UN no longer decides who we let into US ✔️ Conservative majority in SCOTUS ✔️Tidal wave of appointed judges ✔️Hillary...

And so? What exactly is he obstructing? And what proof is there of corruption? If there was anything on him Mueller would've moved on it by now.

Collusion isn't a crime anyway. Conspiracy is but that's neither here nor there. He hasn't done anything remotely prosecuteable and every time that fool Al Green attempts to impeach, it strengthens President Trump's position.

Thank you, Meester.

Elena Kagan, a Stompy Foot appointee, voted in favor of the travel ban.

President Trump is renowned for his typos. But yeah, lets focus on that.

And the Supremes just voted 7-2 in favor of President Trump's travel ban. Winning.

No ****. I often wondered why there was no misery index through all of Stompy Foot's tenure. Eight years of stagnant economy and he did nothing to help it. Or rather, he did everything he could to tank the economy. Every decision he made was counter-intuitive to growth.

He was a rabble rouser in the House but he turned Milquetoast in the Senate. He's about as useless as Dean Heller.

NEVER shop at Wal-Mart. Especially considering that they had Hilldawg on their board of directors for a while. That, and the fact that they **** small business. Fuck 'em. As to the t-shirt, mind your own fucked up country.

Noted Anthropomorphic Hippopotamus, Michael Moore has been accused by 15 women of harassment. Four of them were minors at the time.

Thank you all for your l condolence and indulgence in a decidedly un-freeones like thread. I really appreciated the support and uncharacteristic sympathy emanating from this forum. I am glad that every conversation I've had with my *** over the last ten + years has always ended with "I love...

I never thought of *** as a badass except for that one time. He was just ***. They took him off life support a couple hours ago and he ****** away with my brothers and ****** at his side. Grant unto him eternal rest, Oh Lord. So long, ***. We hardly knew ye.

I'm pretty sure Butthurt is not an impeachable offense. Let me check the Constitution. Nope. Nothing about butthurt there. Sorry snowflakes.

My *** was involved in a traffic accident earlier today in Florida. He suffered a few broken vertebrae; spinal injuries; brain injuries; they had to drain his lungs. My ******* Sam called to let me know that my ****** has no brain activity and it won't be long until he expires. Despite many...

Some arty farty French place here serves them bacon wrapped daters and they plate it with a ramekin of warm maple syrup. I cannot get my head around an attempt to make bacon better than it already is. And cornbread puddin' is super easy if you cheat a little and use Marie Calendar's mix.

Hot dog down a hallway. Deep fried turkey. Cornbread pudding. Bacon-wrapped dates. Take a date; slit it down the side; insert almonds, pecans, walnuts, whatever; wrap with bacon; insert toothpick and bake at 425 degrees on a rack over a baking sheetfor 15-20 minutes, flip it over a couple...

My ****** is a massage therapist and worked in Aspen. About twenty years ago Charlie Rose grabbed her ass and made lewd suggestions to her. True story.

This year I am thankful for the electoral college and the fact that a large portion of one generation of Americans has been coddled and taught that everyone is a winner for so long that they completely lose their **** every time something doesn't turn out the way they want it. Basically the same...

Still waiting for your explanation of why no private plane can travel about 30k feet to test air quality.

Hey everybody! Commander Potatoe is back!!! Finally something to be thankful for. I mean, aside from my grateful attitude about the electoral college; that a Clinton will never occupy the WH; Charles Manson is dead; GDP is on the rise; taxes will soon come down; ******* years of Trump/Pence; the...

Hey Commander Potatoe! Did you notice that when you're not bumping your shitty, stupid threads, no one else is adding anything to them and they fade into obscurity until the next time you bump them? What color is the sky on your planet?

But BC, he added 10 trillion to the debt in a classy way, is what I believe you should have stated. Otherwise, you just look races, mang. He was classy as fuck boning dudes and getting boned by dudes in Chicago's bathhouses, too.

Yurtle McConnell should still call for Menendez to step down; With as much conviction as he did for Roy Moore. And as publicly, too.