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Maybe the script slows down so it can read your LONGEST USERNAME EVER.

Will the skirt come in men's sizes? Or, am I just **** out of luck?

Ahh, language barriers...hilaaaaarious.

Only if there's **** on the tip.

Is there any news about iknowthatGUY.com? I'm thinking about signing up.

Wow, she must've been very pleased with you. I mean, it's not often that 66 year old women can say that someone GOT IT ON with them, you know? Railed them? Yes. Tapped them? Yes. Wrecked them? Yes. Plowed them? Yes. Hell, 66 year old women have even been known to have bumped nasties...

So, I clicked on the link (because I was most definitely curious) and when I was reading the description of the features for the machine, it said the following... STANDARD dildo system? There's a STANDARD dildo system? And, it's not just a standard dildo - it's a standard dildo...

This just in... The pigeon has been traded to the Cleveland Browns for a 3rd round pick and a player to be named later.

That is one of the most ironic statements I have ever read in my entire life. An antitheist - someone who is against the idea of believing in a god (as a whole, or just one specific god) and the organized religions that worship said god(s) - wanting to unite with other antitheists, AKA -...

Whoever told you to give it three months is a fucking moron. There's no timeline when it comes to emotional health. ****, my ex-girlfriend dumped my ass like 8 years ago, but it still hurts. Pain never goes away; you just learn how to deal with it. How long does it take in order for someone...

I'm a HUUUUUGE fan of Greek Mythology, so I'm pretty interested in this series. The only thing is...they miss A LOT of important parts of the stories that they tell. I mean, I know they can't tell the whole entire story of each individual figure in mythology, but they certainly miss a lot of...

I don't think that it's a medical condition, mainly because there is absolutely no medicine that can treat a person with suicidal thoughts and/or desires. There are medications that can put you into a false state of **** induced happiness, but it doesn't cure anything. To me, it's purely an...

I've tried it once. Obviously, I didn't do a good job of it. :( I think that everybody has suicidal thoughts at some point. It's not really a matter of if you have them, just how seriously you take them. I feel that most people tend to brush the thoughts away when they occur, but...

You could say that for just about any profession. I want to make out with you.

You don't happen to have her number, do you?

http://www.cnn.com/2009/WORLD/asiapcf/10/16/australia.baby.train.escape/index.html This is one of the most amazingly miraculous things I've ever seen.

In this case, I agree. I'm usually one of the first people to point fingers at the parents, as I truly believe that parenting (or lack thereof) can directly effect a *****'s personality and they way act in society, but, in this case, I would have to say that the parents aren't to blame; the...

I'm going to be 28. HA, it's my birthday. See what I did there? I made a joke. A bad joke, but a joke none-the-less. Also, I'm going as Ed from Shaun of the Dead. Yup, I got the "I Got Wood" t-shirt already. Now, all I need is a couple of good records that I can carry around...and...

I saw this story earlier and it honestly made me mad. I'm mad for a lot of reasons, but mainly for two things... 1) People actually do this. Seriously, this kind of **** happens aaaaall the tiiiiime. It's really scary to think about all of the horrific **** that people do to one another...

FreeOnes Mods: There...Now You Know HAHAHAHAHAHA, I crack myself up

Oh God, they would both injure eachother within the first 3 minutes of the match. But, that wouldn't really be a BAD thing...

...you do realize that you have a photograph of ANOTHER MAN'S CUM in your avatar, right? The next time you try and make a homosexually-related joke (a BAD one at that), I suggest that you take a look at yourself in the mirror before you start making weak attempts at slander. IF YA...

No, no, no...Batista never, ever, ever gets screwed, ever. The only people getting screwed during Batista matches are the fans, because Batista is a fucking joke and, without a shadow of a doubt, is the worst wrestler to have ever stepped foot into a WWE ring.

Oh yeah...I'd wreck you. And, by "wreck", I mean "play video games with" or "have a **** with". Also, "have anal sex with".

I don't think the Giants are as good as everybody says they are, but they're definitely better than the Broncos, IMO. Obviously, we'll find out when the two teams go head-to-head, but, at the moment, I truly believe that the Giants are a much better team. Other than their 5-0 record, the...

Who is that in your avatar? I want to smear raw pancake batter all over her face and then clean it off of her with my ****. Or, something like that.

:( Aww...

Of course I'm joking. I would never duct tape a girl's mouth to keep her from screaming... ... ... ...I would just gag her with her own underwear!!! :hatsoff:

One of the best teams in the NFL? Eh, I don't think so. Their wins against the Browns and Raiders don't mean a thing; those were pretty much guaranteed victories for them. Just give it 4 or 5 more weeks and then try telling me that they're one of the best teams in the NFL. I believe they...

It might be, MIGHT BE, a burn if it was 1986 and it was still called the WWF. Also, it would help if I was actually a professional wrestler and didn't just have an avatar of one. Oh, and at least I'm not a pathetic clown that's so bad at getting pussy that I have to rely on going to sexaholic...

I would much prefer a Mr. Pibb

I didn't mind the uniforms all that much, but the fucking vertical stripes on the socks made me want to throw up. I just can't wait until the Broncos' luck runs out and they show their true colors. Yes, they're 5-0, but 3 of their games weren't impressive at all... Week 1 - It took a MIRACLE...

What's that one supposed to be? :dunno:

Kelly Madison 1) My next door neighbor, Scott 2) His pregnant wife 3) One of their grandmothers Wifey 1) A shemale blow-up doll that has a puncture wound patched with duct tape 2) Dan Marino 3) A malnourished dog

I'm going to guess that there's a zero percent chance that anybody is going to be clicking on that link.

Because the society we live in makes it seem as if racking up a high number of sexual partners is what makes us a better person, as if we are more respected if we have a bunch of notches on our bedposts. Obviously, that's not how life works, but, unfortunately, people are fucking stupid.

What does the winner of this contest win - you know, besides low self-esteem, constant ridicule and a future full of saggy skin?

You know what the fucking hilarious part about this post is? You're trying to make it seem like the women who were at this meeting were some sort of ugly, unwanted pieces of garbage that weren't nearly good enough for you, but, the reality is... YOU COULDN'T PICK UP A CHICK WHO IS ADDICTED TO...

To answer this question seriously... They're both pretty fucking stupid and they're both pretty fucking dangerous. But, when you're texting and driving, you are blatantly taking your eyes off of the road, which is the single most dangerous thing you can do while driving. At least while...

I start by slowly removing their clothes. I unbutton their shirt, undue their pants and then gently slip them off of their body. Then, I take my sweet time and kiss every single inch of their body, being sure to enjoy each and every goosebump that I bring to life on their sensual skin. I then...

In the words of STDiva... lolwut?

Relationships can't survive unless both parties are willing to make sacrifices. If the porn blog is genuinely upsetting her, I would suggest sacrificing it - for the good of the relationship. Just think of it this way... Would you be happy if your girlfriend had a blog about hot, tan, naked...

HAHAHA, the "N-dash-dash-dash-dash-dash" word? Who wrote this, a 14 year old, puritan boy? Why can't people just be adults and say the word "******" when that's the word that they want to be saying? Jesus-titty-fucking-Christ, it's just a word. An extremely racist word; but a word none-the-less.

The mustache.

http://board.freeones.com/showpost.php?p=3711251&postcount=11 HAHAHAHAHA, I'm gonna scream like that when I beat off tomorrow, just to see how it feels.

Usually, it's because I put duct tape over their mouths, so no one can hear them screaming for help. Er, umm...I mean, they're bored.

Yeah...that sounds healthy.

Whatever it is...it only costs a dollar and it tastes good. Kind of like your ***, WOO HOO!!!

http://board.freeones.com/showpost.php?p=3699761&postcount=607 HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!! I can't rep you yet again, but that made me spit out my Pepsi. But, it was going flat anyway...so, I guess it all worked out for the best.

The "quality" of sex doesn't (well, SHOULDN'T) mean a fucking thing, especially to a relationship. Who cares if your girlfriend is great at giving you blowjobs or if your husband can make you cum 3 times in a row? I don't know about anyone else, but even if my girlfriend was the worst lover in...