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...make it the law that no one who is either anally retentive or has a beard is allowed to be in charge of anything more important than a sweet shop. Oh, it's cold here, looks like Summer is over: I'll have to...

...it takes too damn long to make my own coffee. So: if I look over my right shoulder, I can see...

...was 4:36 pm. If I look over my left shoulder right now, I can see...

...that they were baggier round the bum and halfway up my chest!* Never again, I thought, but then... *This is true. Did it as a joke and the lady I worked with spotted I was wearing them less than one minute after I walked in to the office.

...only howl at the Moon because it keeps my dog company. I wore my boyfriend's y-fronts yesterday for a joke, but discovered...

...sparkling clean? No? then try...

The Smiths... Music To Slash Your Wrists By How Soon is Now BBH? Ask Last Night I Dreamt Somebody Loved Me Another Manchester group... HBTY IOL S MTTTM

...zits. It's not that I find you repulsive, it's just...

...laughing when you dropped your trousers. I don't mean to be rude, but isn't that...

...butt Ay Cannes all weighs youse may spell chequer! I thought to myself, the ceiling looks dirty...

...swing your partner and dosey-doe! I learn something new every time...

:rolleyes: Ye Gods, Holdol, you're almost as aged a hippy as I am! Badfinger Come and Get It Baby Blue Day After Day NMW - I don't know! I'll post my question in a bit ... OK - I was bopping around the house to one of their records (WLAE) this morning before work and doing the hand...

...I realised I was really freaking out the guy sat next to me on the bus! Candy is dandy but...

S-l-o-w update, but just found another Melissa vid: http://boobsvids.com/scoreland/4/ Not very good quality. x x x Jo

...stark raving mad, which makes me...

...any nut? Worth a try! Speaking of things worth trying, recently I...

...he tickled my toes. Somewhere, there's a man who...

...but his feet did smell, so the townsfolk said: "Go, go Jonny go, go!" There's nothing better in the morning than...

...walks. A bird in the hand is worth...

...schizophrenics feel right at home. My voices tell me to...

...lovin' makes me grin all day! I love Dr Death's morphing sig but...

...no, but that purple shirt clashes terribly with those **** stains. My advice is to...

...HELL HAS DR DEATH BEEN SMOKING?" My wacky baccy dreams always include...

...bumped into some American tourists, who...

You know this movie... Mrs. Tarantino: Are you the police? Elwood: No, ma'am. We're musicians. Elwood: And we would especially like to welcome all the representatives of Illinois's *************** community that have chosen to join us here in the Palace Hotel Ballroom at this time...

The Doobie Brothers, Without You Only knew that one coz our pub landlord does! Hiya Holdol, back from the hols... Try: The folks in town said with prejudiced eyes: that boy's not right.

...no, it was me, the old Freeones Mouse! Normally, I wouldn't ***** of...

...worth it. I **** Fridays...

16, about a week after my birthday Minimum age of consent in the UK. In my (20-year-old) boyfriend's car: I was very nervous and didn't enjoy it, being terrified of being caught and besides he was crap. He accused me of not being a virgin because I didn't *****, but I'd been horseriding...

..the possibility that I hadn't had enough to *****. It's late and I'm ***** so it's time...

There are some very obvious fake-black-cock videos around at the moment - try this: http://www.angiesclips.com/insanecock/3-884/indexMsMvs_MvKtt_MvMnc.html Semi-hard dildo with what looks like fake balls, maybe hollowed out to take the real cock and balls. I've only seen black ones of these...

Montrealman goes all country on us... Neil Diamond Forever in Blue Jeans The ultimate in-front-of-fire makeout song. Ahem... Try: Er war superstar Er war populaer Er war so exaltiert Because er hatte flair Er war ein virtuose War ein rockidol Und alles rief, come on...

...I was searching for treasure in his pants! Sitting here browsing Freeones reminds me of...

It's the all-conquering Bryan Adams- Into the Fire Hi guys, back from my hols - try this: I hear you calling and it’s needles and pins I want to hurt you just to hear you screaming my name Don’t want to touch you but you’re under my skin I want to taste you but your lips are venomous

...my boyfriend might sell me for scrap. If you fancy someone, you should...

...I've discovered that if a man eats garlic before you blow him...

...which really clutters up my e-mails. To get my whites really white, I ...

Holdol, you're a smoothy... :lovecoupl Guns n Roses, Don't Cry I'm going on holiday for a while and won't have access to the internet - so someone else please post a lyric and carry on this fun game! Love x x x Jo

...can rely on money being left unattended. I feel like...

Jimmy Hendrix Freedom Right on! This songs always makes me cry: But I know i'm on a losing streak as I pass down by your street And if you want a show, just let me know and I'll sing in your ear again

...flirt like crazy with the nice man in the policeman's uniform. Oh dear, I seem to have...

It's The Mystic's ***** by Loreena McKennit (have I spelt that right?) But the film is a saddening bore Cause I wrote it ten times or more It's about to be writ again As I ask her to focus on sailors fighting on the dance floor Oh man - look at those cavemen go!

...released my hostages. I'm thinking of setting up a...

...married in a same-sex ceremony last week, while Mickey Mouse...

...ran out of juice at the wrong moment, damn him! But then I found...

Bump again... someone might know!

Yup! Can't think of yours, though x x x Jo

Join the club. Big clue: Irish Love n Cuddles x x x Jo

Had to phone a friend on this one - if no-one answers in the next day or so, I will x x x Jo

Not much chance, I know, but B-U-M-P How many times can I bump before getting my bum chewed off?