A funny thing happened at the cemetery...

...A ****** funeral broke out.


My twin ****** and I decided to pay a visit (NOT our respects) to our ******'s grave, since I haven't been since his funeral in 1995 and my ****** hasn't been there in two or so years.

We got there, and were wandering around a bit, since she couldn't remember exactly where the bastard man is buried. After a few minutes, a ****** showed up. OK, no biggie; it IS a public cemetery. After more wandering, we noticed that the ****** was staring at us. We ignored them, and continued on with our search.

After a while my ****** called Mommy and told her that we couldn't find the bastard's grave, the ****** approached us...

"Liz? Becky?" "Yes?" "I am sooooooooooo glad you could make it here!" We didn't immediately recognize the lady, and yet she knows us. It was our oldest ******, whom we haven't seen since 1995. "Did you see the obituary?" At this point, we both thought she was talking about the old man, and thought she had totally lost it. I guess some of our confusion showed, because she looked horrified and said, "You don't know, do you?" "Know what?" "Dave died last Monday. His funeral is at 1 o'clock."

Yes, friends, my ****** and myself accidentally crashed our own *******'s funeral.

Obviously, we had lost touch with that side of the ******. After the old man's funeral, our oldest ****** and her two brothers (they were Chuck's **** from his first marriage) didn't seem interested in keeping in touch with us. We invited them all to our high school graduation, but they never replied, so we decided that if they didn't want us in their lives, then we didn't want them.

It was indescribably awkward. We haven't seen or heard from these people in over 12 years, and we unintentionally ended up at a ****** funeral.

We were actually planning on also visiting our grandfather's grave in another town the same day, but (luckily?) we had to head home instead. We talked it over, and decided it was probably a good thing...who knows what would have happened there.
 
You're lucky you weren't going to a massage parlor, or even worse, that certain men's room at Minneapolis International Airport!
 
I love it! You show up at your *******'s funeral, whom you did not know was dead, while searching aimlessly for your ******'s grave, of which you could not find.

A heartwarming story of the modern ******. Love it :glugglug: :thumbsup:
 
I usually don't find a lot funny at the cemetary, and this is no exception. Way too few hours and too many questions to ask about how this whole mess came about?
 
Honey, your ****** sometimes seems STRANGE to me. Not so much your immediate ******, but the others. You folks are so wacky.
 
I'm not sure if I made this clear enough--of my seven older ********, 6 of them are half-********. The seventh is my twin ******.

We never were close with Chuck's ******** from his first marriage. We certainly lost touch with them after his funeral...but we'd tried for a few years afterwards.

Yeah, uh, that's quite hilarious alright. Nothing quite like the death of a sibling to make your day, is there?

I guess you'd have to know me to understand why it's funny.


were you the only one's not dressed for a funeral? sandals, jeans and hella colourful tees amid black clothes by any chance?

Nah, at least half of the mourners were dressed casually. Hell, his widow was wearing an AC/DC t-shirt.
 

Facetious

Moderated
Art Bell / George Noory / Coast to Coast AM
Files For Sure !

How do we figure out odds on this thing . . . anybody ?


Thrilling Story ! That's f'ed up of them for not showing at your grad !

Their loss ! ;)

I'm the baby of seven !
 

ChefChiTown

The secret ingredient? MY BALLS
Nah, at least half of the mourners were dressed casually. Hell, his widow was wearing an AC/DC t-shirt.

A) :1orglaugh + :rolleyes: + :confused: = the current look on my face
B) It wasn't a "Highway To Hell" t-shirt was it? Because that would be awesomely hilarious
 
For Those About to Rot (We Salute You)
 
I guess you won't be telling us why your ****** was such a bad man? You've made me curious....

I know why, but I'll ask her if she wants answer it herself. I would like her to provide a little info on the situation with her ******, because some of her story makes her come off as being insensitive.
 
Art Bell / George Noory / Coast to Coast AM
Files For Sure !

I used to listen to Art Bell. That was a great show.


DC? really? did she crack a **** halfway through?

She might've. I was busy thinking how awkward it all was.


It wasn't a "Highway To Hell" t-shirt was it? Because that would be awesomely hilarious

I don't remember, but it wouldn't surprise me. :1orglaugh

I guess you won't be telling us why your ****** was such a bad man? You've made me curious....

He hated women, he was an alcoholic (and a MEAN one), one of my earliest memories of him was of him throwing a steak ***** at my mommy...there's more, but that should give people a bit of an idea.
 
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