Politically correct terms for the board

[BNF]

Due to the climate of political correctness now pervading America...

Kentuckians, Tennesseans and West Virginians will no longer be referred to as "HILLBILLIES."...... You must now refer to them as APPALACHIAN-AMERICANS.

And furthermore ...
HOW TO SPEAK ABOUT WOMEN AND BE POLITICALLY CORRECT:



1 She is not a "BABE" or a "CHICK" - She is a "BREASTED AMERICAN."
2 She is not "EASY" - She is "HORIZONTALLY ACCESSIBLE."
3. She is not a "DUMB BLONDE" - She is a "LIGHT-HAIRED DETOUR OFF THE INFORMATION SUPERHIGHWAY."
4. She has not "BEEN AROUND" - She is a "PREVIOUSLY-ENJOYED COMPANION."
5 . She does not "NAG" you - She becomes "VERBALLY REPETITIVE."
6. She is not a "TWO-BIT HOOKER" - She is a "LOW COST PROVIDER."

HOW TO SPEAK ABOUT MEN AND BE POLITICALLY CORRECT:

1. He does not have a "**** GUT" - He has developed a "LIQUID GRAIN STORAGE FACILITY."
2 . He is not a "BAD DANCER" - He is "OVERLY CAUCASIAN."
3. He does not "GET LOST ALL THE TIME" - He "INVESTIGATES ALTERNATIVE DESTINATIONS."
4. He is not "BALDING" - He is in "FOLLICLE REGRESSION."
5. He does not act like a "TOTAL ASS" - He develops a case of RECTAL-CRANIAL INVERSION."
6. It's! Not his "CRACK" you see hanging out of his pants - It's "REAR CLEAVAGE"

 

[Aegis]

:rofl:

I really like this one: "LIGHT-HAIRED DETOUR OFF THE INFORMATION SUPERHIGHWAY." :thumbsup:

 

[DrMotorcity]

So this is now known as the "Ones" message board?

:eek:

Bob Dylan needs to write a song about all of this.

I think I'm going to conduct a Poll. I mean a non-Germanic person of Eastern European descent.

:uohs:

 

[Vanilla Bear]

:rofl:
I absolutely second Aegis statement!
Some really good stuff.
:thumbsup:

 

[pussy+dickdenice]

HOW TO SPEAK ABOUT WOMEN AND BE POLITICALLY CORRECT:

1 She is not a "BABE" or a "CHICK" - She is a "BREASTED AMERICAN."
2 She is not "EASY" - She is "HORIZONTALLY ACCESSIBLE."
3. She is not a "DUMB BLONDE" - She is a "LIGHT-HAIRED DETOUR OFF THE INFORMATION SUPERHIGHWAY."
4. She has not "BEEN AROUND" - She is a "PREVIOUSLY-ENJOYED COMPANION."
5 . She does not "NAG" you - She becomes "VERBALLY REPETITIVE."
6. She is not a "TWO-BIT HOOKER" - She is a "LOW COST PROVIDER."

HOW TO SPEAK ABOUT MEN AND BE POLITICALLY CORRECT:

1. He does not have a "**** GUT" - He has developed a "LIQUID GRAIN STORAGE FACILITY."
2 . He is not a "BAD DANCER" - He is "OVERLY CAUCASIAN."
3. He does not "GET LOST ALL THE TIME" - He "INVESTIGATES ALTERNATIVE DESTINATIONS."
4. He is not "BALDING" - He is in "FOLLICLE REGRESSION."
5. He does not act like a "TOTAL ASS" - He develops a case of RECTAL-CRANIAL INVERSION."
6. It's! Not his "CRACK" you see hanging out of his pants - It's "REAR CLEAVAGE"

Its a great candidate for "share a joke thread." :hatsoff: Super

 

[dire_need]

Due to the climate of political correctness now pervading America...

Very funny and, sadly, all too true. FreeOnes is my refuge of choice from that politically correct nonsense. Thanks for the shits and giggles. Cheers!

 

[Vanilla Bear]

2 . He is not a "BAD DANCER" - He is "OVERLY CAUCASIAN."

Im not sure if that is really politically correct!

 

[AFA]

When I log on from now on, will I have to press #1 for English? :jester:

 

[Monkey_28]

Due to the climate of political correctness now pervading America...

Kentuckians, Tennesseans and West Virginians will no longer be referred to as "HILLBILLIES."...... You must now refer to them as APPALACHIAN-AMERICANS.

And furthermore ...
HOW TO SPEAK ABOUT WOMEN AND BE POLITICALLY CORRECT:
1 She is not a "BABE" or a "CHICK" - She is a "BREASTED AMERICAN."
2 She is not "EASY" - She is "HORIZONTALLY ACCESSIBLE."
3. She is not a "DUMB BLONDE" - She is a "LIGHT-HAIRED DETOUR OFF THE INFORMATION SUPERHIGHWAY."
4. She has not "BEEN AROUND" - She is a "PREVIOUSLY-ENJOYED COMPANION."
5 . She does not "NAG" you - She becomes "VERBALLY REPETITIVE."
6. She is not a "TWO-BIT HOOKER" - She is a "LOW COST PROVIDER."

HOW TO SPEAK ABOUT MEN AND BE POLITICALLY CORRECT:

1. He does not have a "**** GUT" - He has developed a "LIQUID GRAIN STORAGE FACILITY."
2 . He is not a "BAD DANCER" - He is "OVERLY CAUCASIAN."
3. He does not "GET LOST ALL THE TIME" - He "INVESTIGATES ALTERNATIVE DESTINATIONS."
4. He is not "BALDING" - He is in "FOLLICLE REGRESSION."
5. He does not act like a "TOTAL ASS" - He develops a case of RECTAL-CRANIAL INVERSION."
6. It's! Not his "CRACK" you see hanging out of his pants - It's "REAR CLEAVAGE"

:rofl: That is some good stuff there, i like the **** gut one

 

[tunsty]

As you can see from this fairly inaccurate simulation, it's not going to make life easy, being politically correct.



Man: Hey you BREASTED AMERICAN, I've heard that you're HORIZONTALLY ACCESSIBLE and you've PREVIOUSLY-ENJOYED COMPANIONS.

Woman: Hey, I ain't no LOW COST PROVIDER, how about you take that FOLLICLE REGRESSION ass, your REAR CLEAVAGE and your GRAIN STORAGE FACILITY and get out of my face......you RECTAL-CRANIAL INVERSION.

Man: You LIGHT-HAIRED DETOUR OFF THE INFORMATION SUPERHIGHWAY's are all the same ...VERBALLY REPETITIVE, VERBALLY REPETITIVE, VERBALLY REPETITIVE.

 

[member006]

When I log on from now on, will I have to press #1 for English? :jester:

OMG, get out of my head AFA. lol

Great post BNF. :thumbsup:

LL

 

[squallumz]

pure gold!

 

[Imagine]

It has been brought to management's attention that some individuals throughout the company have been using foul language during the course of normal conversation with other employees. Due to complaints received from some employees who are more easily offended, this type of language will no longer be tolerated.

Nonetheless, we do realize the critical importance of individuals being able to properly express their feelings when communicating with fellow employees.

Therefore, a list of code phrase replacements has been compiled so proper exchange of ideas and information can continue in an effective manner without risk of offending our more sensitive co-workers.

Old phrase - New phrase
No fucking way! - I'm certain that's not feasible.
You've got to be shitting me. - Really?
Tell someone who gives a fuck. - Perhaps you should check with...
It's not my fucking problem. - I wasn't involved with that project.
What the fuck? - Interesting.
Fuck it, it won't work. - I am not sure I can implement this.
Why the fuck didn't you tell me that sooner? - I'll try to schedule that.
When the fuck do you expect me to do this? - Perhaps I can work late.
Who the fuck cares? - Are you sure this is a problem?
He's got his head up his ass. - He's not familiar with the problem.
Eat ****! - Excuse me?
Eat **** and die, motherfucker. - Excuse me, Sir?
What the fuck do they want from my life? - They weren't happy with it?
Fuck it, I'm on salary. - I don't think you understand.
Who the hell died and made you the boss? - You want me to take care of this.
I really don't give a ****. - I don't think it will be a problem.
He's a fucking prick. - He's somewhat insensitive.
She's a ball-breaking bitch. - She's an aggressive go-getter.
You don't know what the fuck you're doing. - I think you could use more training.
This place is all fucked up. - We're a little disorganized.

 

[member006]

:rofl2: *right click save* I must mail to everyone at on the job. :thumbsup:

My boss once gave me a beautiful silver bracelet he brought back from a trip to Puru. I thanked him and said it was a lovely way to show he was happy with my work. He laughed and said it was because I knew to much. The same reason I get a great bonus at Christmas.

Reminded me of the third from the bottom. lol

LL

 

[squallumz]

:rofl2: *right click save* I must mail to everyone at on the job. :thumbsup:

My boss once gave me a beautiful silver bracelet he brought back from a trip to Puru. I thanked him and said it was a lovely way to show he was happy with my work. He laughed and said it was because I knew to much. The same reason I get a great bonus at Christmas.

Reminded me of the third from the bottom. lol

LL

im also going to post it, ima stick it on the mirror.

 

[Iamforever]

When I log on from now on, will I have to press #1 for English? :jester:

exactly what i was thinking. :rofl:


funny ****, oops i mean stuff, bnf. :thumbsup:

 

[Perilypos]

Excellent post, BNF, thank you! :thumbsup:

 

[D-rock]

Does this mean I will have to start referring to some people as "intellectually challenged"?

 

[sp00ner77]

HOW TO SPEAK ABOUT MEN AND BE POLITICALLY CORRECT:

...
2 . He is not a "BAD DANCER" - He is "OVERLY CAUCASIAN."
5. He does not act like a "TOTAL ASS" - He develops a case of RECTAL-CRANIAL INVERSION."

Guilty on both counts. :rofl:

Good stuff. :thumbsup:

 

[jdb67]

Following is the winning entry from an annual contest calling for the most appropriate definition of a contemporary term. This year's term:

Political Correctness.


"Political Correctness is a doctrine fostered by a delusional,
illogical liberal minority, and rabidly promoted by an unscrupulous
mainstream media, which holds forth the proposition that it is entirely
possible to pick up a turd by the clean end."