Things that make the world Awesome!
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A lawyer married a woman who had previously divorced five husbands. On their wedding night, she told her new husband, “Please be gentle, I’m still a virgin.” “What?” said the puzzled *****. “How can that be if you’ve been married five times?”
“Well, Husband 1 was a sales representative; he kept telling me how great it was going to be.
Husband 2 was an engineer; he understood the basic process but wanted three years to research, implement, and design a new state-of-the-art method.
Husband 3 was in marketing; although he had a nice product, he was never sure how to position it.
Husband 4 was a psychologist; all he ever did was talk about it.
Husband 5 was a stamp collector; all he ever did was… God! I miss him!
But now that I’ve married you, I’m really excited!" “Good,” said the lawyer, “but why?” “You’re a lawyer!” she replies. “This time I know I’m going to get screwed.”
Husband 2 was an engineer; he understood the basic process but wanted three years to research, implement, and design a new state-of-the-art method.
Husband 3 was in marketing; although he had a nice product, he was never sure how to position it.
Husband 4 was a psychologist; all he ever did was talk about it.
Husband 5 was a stamp collector; all he ever did was… God! I miss him!
But now that I’ve married you, I’m really excited!" “Good,” said the lawyer, “but why?” “You’re a lawyer!” she replies. “This time I know I’m going to get screwed.”
maildude99
Closed Account
Mr. Daystar
In a bell tower, watching you through cross hairs.
It works out for a lot of numbers. It is a little bit of a mind fuck, isn't it?
In middle ages, many women of wealth had male "tongue" slaves that would "serve" them whenever their husbands were away. The idea of only sitting on a man's face would allow them to experience some pleasure but remain faithful to their husbands.
In ancient Persia, "queening chairs" were crafted to cradle the man's head and neck for support in case he was called to service many women, or if the woman involved needed longer servicing than usual.
Women would sit on the chair and drape their dress over it. There was a hole they'd sit over where the man's face would to be.
Little Red Wagon Repairman
Girls Can't Wrestle
Hey fellas, I just got a new coffee maker. From Amazon. It's a Cuisinart. ******** coffee right now. It's good, super hot temperature with mega maga bold flavor. Was $99.95 but I was able to get them down in price to $69.95.
Black Friday deal?
The timers are a great feature - have it set up with your alarm clock, and you'll have a brew literally ready when you **** up.
Little Red Wagon Repairman
Girls Can't Wrestle
Was either a Black Friday Sale or the discount was given by my powers of negotiation and bluffing ability as a shrewd businessman.
The only timer I use is when I put the coffee in, I go to the back of the house to make a number two, then when my two is done so is the coffee.
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