Writing Practice: Descriptive Sex Stories

[Mr. Hobbs]

I like to write. it gives me something to do when I'm awake in the middle of the night and nothings on TV. I'm not sure why, but I decided to start writing a couple of descriptive sex scenes about real life encounters and fantasies I've had with various women in my travels. I thought it would be good practice for writing in general and I came up with these and thought, what better place to try them out than on Freeones. I've enjoyed writing them and hope you enjoy reading them.


Part I: Cooler Fun.

He’d gotten the job three months previous as a cook at the bowling alley at the edge of town. It was a nice little grill with a classic looking bar off to the side of his order window. Various bottles of booze lined some glass shelves in front of a mirror behind the bar. A sliding top cooler sat just below the mirrored wall filled with ice, beer, and wine coolers. Aside from himself there was one other cook and two waitresses that doubled as bartenders. The other cook was a large grubby looking guy, but was an excellent “grill chef” as he called himself. The two waitresses, an older blond and a petite young brunette worked the bar and waited the tables scattered in the bowling alley grill. He would watch them cruising back and forth past his order window serving drinks and delivering meals. He’d try to be discrete, but it was hard not to stare at the enticing shape of the two waitresses.

The older blond was an experienced gal with large tits and a nice large well shaped ass and would often tease him with sexy looks and moved her body in ways that were totally meant to get him turned on. As she picked up orders she would lean forward up to the grill window and her buttoned shirt would drop open for his benefit to the point where he could see those soft curves dropping away from her chest. She would snap him sexy glances from behind the bar and across the room and would flirt with him with longing blue-eyed glances and moves from her buxom body meant entirely for his benefit. He thought how fun she would be in bed and how he would love to caress those ample breasts, slide his penis in between them and fuck her over and over for a night of incredible pleasure. He had fantasized about it many times, but he knew she was off the table. She was a married woman, with a hard working husband who would come in to the grill once in a while. He knew she was just comfortable with her body and her sexuality and knew how to turn a guy on, but it was her husband that was having the fun tonight and everyone knew it. She loved to flirt, but it was just the way she was and you knew that tonight her husband was getting her full attention.

The brunette was a different story. She could turn the charm on for customers to maximize tips, but never made any moves that would indicate she was into him. He would still check her out as she moved behind the bar and out amongst the customers at the tables. There was nothing flirtatious about her, but her body had a sexy way about it. The way her hair hung down around her shoulders, the way her breasts tapered down to the flat belly and how the soft curves of her waste flared out into that incredible ass hidden under a knee length skirt. They had talked on occasion and had some interesting conversations, she would give him hugs and make some fun innuendos, but he’d never seen any real sexual signals from her. So when one slow night the two of them were left to close up the grill, it took him by surprise when she came up behind him and pinched his ass and giggled. “I’ve seen you watching me,” she said in a sexy voice. The unusual advance had taken him aback and he didn’t quite know what to say. She moved in closer to him and put her hand on his arm. “I’ve been watching you too.” She said and looked into his eyes. She stroked his arm and looked him over his arms and chest and said, “If you’re interested, I’d really like to get something going with you, what do you think?” Then she waited for his reply. Her voice was so sexy and her caresses so powerful, he couldn’t think of anything else to say except “I’d really like that.” She reached up and gave him sensual wet kiss on the lips and said, “See you tomorrow night.” She walked around the bar, gave him a long last look with a smile and headed out into the parking lot leaving him standing there exhilarated in the bar.

He couldn’t sleep that night thinking about her longing eyes and tight little body. The next day at work there was a distinct change in her attitude and everyone could see it. She would give him flashing looks and flirt with him all through the day. She had undone an extra button on her shirt and on the “order up!” call she would come over and give him a glimpse of her cleavage underneath. A typical customer wouldn’t have ever noticed, but his co-workers in the bar did. So much so, the blond waitress came up to him and said, “Looks like she’s picked you stud.” And gave him a wink and a smile as she moved back out into the tables. He looked over at the other cook and the guy just gave him a knowing smile and went back to his grill. He knew something was up, but had no idea of what was to come.

So now here he was, looking at himself in the liquor shelf mirror behind the bar, seeing her head bobbing back and forth on his penis. It was almost surreal as he looked down and watched as her lips slid back and forth over his rapidly hardening cock. He had no idea of what brought this on, but he wasn’t complaining. She would gently caress his balls while she was sucking and then look up with those incredible brown eyes to see what effect she was having. He kept his hands clear and just let her do her work, which she was incredibly good at. By now he was hard as a rock and she looked up and said “how do you like that?” The pleasure created by her lips was still filling his whole pelvis and he wanted more than anything to just get inside her right now, but instead he said, “that was incredible, now let me return the favor.”

He bent down as she stood up, unzipping her skirt as he went. The skirt fell to the floor revealing soft legs and light blue lacey underwear before the tails of her shirt fell down draping over her waist line. He slid his hands up her legs, moving the shirt out of the way and then kissed her inner thighs, first one side then the other until he reached her underwear. He could feel and smell the heat coming off her vagina and it turned him on even more. He reached up on both of her hips and pulled her underwear slowly down her legs to reveal her soft delicately shaved pussy. As he did so he looked up at her and she was looking longingly back down at him. He lost sight of her as he gently kissed her clitoris, but he felt her shudder then lean back slightly and make a soft “ohh.” He began by kissing her vagina softly and then began separating her labia with his tongue slowly working is way up to the little mound that he hoped would send her over the edge. He worked her pussy with his tongue and lips digging ever deeper until he could feel and taste her excitement building up. He took a finger and gently slid it into her vagina while he touched her with his tongue and she moaned replies to every little stroke and lick as he gave them to her. He lost track of time as his tongue and fingers worked their way around her pussy. Finally at one point she let out a loud high pitched moan. He didn’t know if he had made her cum or not, but it didn’t matter. Her excitement and the smell and taste of her pussy had him ready to go and he couldn’t resist any longer.

He stood up and backed her up against the cooler below the glass mirror. He looked her in the eyes, then kissed her, and maneuvered his penis in between her legs so the head touched her wet groove and was ready to enter. She didn’t wait for him and grabbed his shaft pushing the tip into her wet pussy. He put his hand under her leg and lifted it so he could enter her easily. As his penis slid into her wet vagina the feeling was incredible. First the tip working in and out, then deeper and deeper as he rocked his hips back and forth until finally he reached balls deep. With each stroke his balls flew up and made a slapping noise and the cooler rocked slightly with each thrust. They looked into each other’s eyes as he thrust in and out of her. He was close to cumming, but didn’t want this to end, so he pulled out, gave a quick hard squeeze to the base of his penis and then grabbed her by the butt and lifted her up onto the cooler top.

She gave a squeal as her naked skin hit the cold lid, but he kept right on. He ripped off her button up shirt and then entered her as best he could right there on the cooler lid. His balls rolled back and forth on the freezing piece of metal as he slid in and out of her vagina. He couldn’t penetrate all the way because of the odd angle and how she was sitting on the cold cooler top, but it didn’t matter. The hot and wet feeling on his penis so contrasted with the cold cooler metal on his balls that it just did not matter at all. The cold on his balls drew them closer to his body creating an incredible feeling as his head slid in and out of her vagina. He held her by the waste as he thrusted and could see the pleasure and pain in her face as they worked it on the bar cooler lid. He looked in the mirror through the bottles of liquor and in the blue mirror light he could see the small tattoo on the small of her back, rocking back and forth to meet his thrusts. He watched her as she arched backwards in pleasure and her dark hair slid further towards that wonderful ass, which by now must be incredibly cold.

He hadn’t removed her bra, a lacy light blue push up number that had made her breast look so round and wonderful. He left the bra on because he liked to watch her breast shake over the top of the lace. He looked now and got even more excited as he thrust inside her and his balls rolled on the cold cold cooler lid. The excitement and thought of those breasts jiggling right in front of his face was too much and he could feel his point of no return. He pulled out, and just in time. Immediately, pulses surged deep within his pelvis and spine and the white eruptions began. He watched as three large spurts roped out and landed in her exposed belly button. Two more and then the white ooze of white lava flowed forth and ran down his member and onto pussy and clitoris and his eyes closed as several more throbbing pulses from the cold cooler hit and filled him with a release of tension. The feeling was incredible as his balls were skin tight and pushing all of their contents out in white beauty.

He opened his eyes to see her smiling at him with her dark brown eyes and her luscious lips slightly parted. He could tell she had enjoyed their little cooler fun tonight as the bar had closed up. She told him, “good job, now get me off this cooler my ass is freezing!” He laughed and lifted her up and set her down on the floor. “It was a little cold wasn’t it?” He said. “Tell you what, let me warm you up” and he grabbed her ass with both hands and drew her in tight to him.

 

[Mr. Hobbs]

Continuing story from the bowling alley at the end of town.

Part II: The Tank Top

He’d finished his shift at the plant and headed home at the end of his day. The sun was low in the sky and mixed with a bunch of clouds that started first to shine in brilliant white and then were slowly changing to their usual oranges and reds and the sun began to go down. By the time he reached his home, the brilliance had disappeared and had been replaced by the cool gray of early evening. He stepped out of the car and heard the bugs starting to buzz in the night air as he walked up to the front door. He looked at the flower beds along the sidewalk and front of the house and saw that his wife had been working in the soil. She must have gotten off early at her job at the bowling alley and was home waiting for him.

His wife of 20 years was the most beautiful thing he’d ever seen and even after all this time never failed to turn him on, even in his darkest of days. At 40 she was still extremely hot. She had gained weight as all people do over time, but still retained her hourglass shape with those large breasts, round ass, and long curly blond hair. Her light colored eyes were the most striking thing about her though and he got excited just thinking about them as he stepped into the house.

His wife was a flirt no doubt and he worried occasionally about her stepping out on him. Somebody richer, cuter, bigger dick, whatever. He would occasionally drop into the grill where she worked just to check on her. Occasionally he’d look through the opening from the lanes and watch her moving around in the grill before he’d go in. She was in constant motion and flirting with the customers and even the two cooks visibly flipping burgers in the kitchen. He would go in, but any doubts he had were swept away when her eyes lit up as he stood in the doorway. “Well look what we have here,” she would say and gave him a wink and with her hand on her hip and a shake she would ask “Table for two?” All he could do was smile. She would drop everything and walk him to a table in a dark corner of the bar. She would take his order and with a smile say “well, honey, what’ll it be, coffee, tea, or me?” He’d say with a smile, “I think I’ll just have coffee” and she’d look hurt and smack him on the shoulder. “Well, there’s no accounting for taste,” and wiggled her way back up to the bar entirely for his benefit.

One time as he was leaving the grill from a visit, she followed him out of the grill. She grabbed him on the way out and drug him into a small locker room behind the shoe checkout counter. She locked the door behind him and pulled him towards a small built in wooden bench in the middle of the room. “I haven’t got much time” she said as she latched on to him and started rubbing his cock. He grabbed her waist, looked into those sexy eyes and started kissing her. The anticipation of being surrounded by her wet pussy and grabbing those huge breasts with her shirt still on made him hard right away and in a blink of an eye he had her skirt up, his pants down, and was running the head of his penis inside her. Even as hard as he was it was difficult and awkward to get inside her standing up leaning against the wall of lockers so he grabbed her by the waist and laid her down on the wooden bench. He laid her back down long ways on the hard wooden surface and pulled her skirt up over her stomach and raised her legs up as he kicked his leg out of one side of his pants, straddled the bench and slid his dick inside her waiting pussy. It was awkward and on the brink of disaster the whole time, but his cock was doing its job. Head sliding in and out along the walls of her increasingly wet vagina, legs and hips in pain from being spread apart over the wooden bench. Finally it was too much and he erupted inside her. He could feel his dick throbbing in the unusual position and it was awesome. Almost as quick as it had begun it ended. They stood up, kissed, and returned their clothing to its proper place. She gave him one last sexy look and a long kiss and then moved to the door. She unlocked it, cracked it slightly to take a peek outside and then with a wink, stepped out into the bowling alley. He waited a minute and then followed. She was already working the tables in the grill when he walked past. She saw him and gave him a glance and then smiled that sexy smile of hers and went back to the bar. She was like that with him, and any fears he had were swept away.

The thought of that quickie in the bowling alley started making him hard as he hung up his cap. “Honey, I’m home.” he said. No answer. He looked around and then moved into the kitchen. She had been here. A bag of frozen vegetables were sitting on the counter and zip lock full of frozen pork ribs were marinating and thawing in the sink. She must be out back firing up the grill he thought. He caught some movement out of his eye and looked out the back window in the dining room. There she was, bent over next to the grill turning the gas on. She was wearing her gardening sweat pants and that plain black tank top with no bra. He watched her perfect round ass in those grey sweats and how her tight tank top was barely able to restrain those unencumbered tits as she turned the valve on the gas bottle. He watched her as she stood up and went around to light the grill. Her hair stood long and blond down to her shoulders and her waist looked magnificent as she put fire to the cooker.

He was already semi-hard as he walked out of the kitchen through the door to the garage and went out the back door that led to the patio. He stood in the doorway for a moment and leaned against the frame. He watched her finish lighting the grill and let her sexy shape start lighting him up. Then she saw him, smiled, and struck a sexy pose for his benefit. Tits up, ass out, and hand on hip, then motioned him to come over with a finger. The smiled at each other and he went over and they hugged and kissed. He couldn’t resist and grabbed her ass pulling her in close and then ran his hand up her back underneath the tank top. Her skin was so soft and her ass so full under his hand. He could feel her breasts pushing up against his chest and saw her cleavage push up and together as he looked at her and held her in close. She was full bodied and buxom and felt good as he wrapped his arms around her and squeezed.

After 20 years, she knew when he was excited and decided to give him a little loving before dinner. She pushed him away gently with an extended arm and stepped back towards the grill looking at him with those sexy eyes. She said, “It’s so hot tonight, I think I’ll just cool off a little,” and reached down for the bottom of her tight tank top. She pulled up the shirt slowly revealing first her belly button, then the round bottoms of her breasts and then in one swift move pulled it up and over her head. He watched as her big natural breasts pushed out beneath the tight tank top as she removed the garment over her head. As the shirt cleared away they dropped back down onto her chest and bounced slightly. They looked magnificent in the cool evening light in the back yard. Her hair which had pulled up with the shirt and as she removed it fell back down over her shoulders partially covering her face. She brushed the hair out of the way and said, “Come over here baby.” He walked over to her and she knelt down in front of him. She touched the bulge in his pants that had grown when she stripped the tight shirt off. “Seems like someone’s happy to see me,” she said as she unzipped his jeans and slid his pants down to the patio then rubbed her hand along his penis still covered up by his briefs. He felt her hand working over the fabric of his underwear hitting the thick seam on the fly and pressing it into his rapidly growing shaft. “Oh, very nice,” she said, as she removed his underwear and watched as his penis sprang forth and presented itself to her. She immediately latched on with her hand and began rubbing the base of his dick. Then she surrounded his head with her lips and began working with her tongue.

The wetness of her mouth sucking his head and her gentle caresses on his shaft and balls made him feel fuzzy all over. A chill swept over him in the cool night air as his sexual excitement grew. Involuntary spasms rippled through his body and his hips started moving back and forth in rhythmic sequence with her strokes and lips. The feelings were intense as she worked his cock and balls from head to base and back again. At one point, he almost came from her tongue flicking on the end of his penis and a well-placed stroke on his shaft, but she could tell he was close and let his penis go. She knew she maxed him out and, to keep him from exploding too soon, took the opportunity to rise up, rub her breasts on his cock and balls and let him cool down briefly before the next thing she had in store for him.

While he retreated from the point of no return, she rose up and grabbed her breast with both hands, squeezed them together, and said “slide in baby.” He leaned forward and slid his penis in between the ample receptacle she created by pushing her breasts up and together. He pushed his penis in from below and fell into a natural impulse to thrust. He watched the head slowing appearing and disappearing as she surrounded him with her ample cleavage. Soft and smooth, it felt so good as his shaft made every pass between those lovely soft mounds. He looked into her eyes and saw she was pleased with how she made him feel. With each push his head appeared and the mouth of his urethra opened wide. Each stroke brought him closer to that wonderful little head spilling its white contents and giving him that incredible release as his body pumped its contents forth. The head expanded and he pushed up as far as he could until his balls touched the soft underside of her breasts and the head extended well above the soft mounds, stretching out and widening. The pleasure of each stroke struck him and his penis seemed to say “oh yeah, let me explode.” A small drop of clear fluid began to appear in the little mouth as it appeared each time above her squeezing softness. The fluid rubbed off on her breasts as he went up and down and made the sensation of the thrust that much more slick and smooth and wonderful.

The sexual intensity finally overcame him and on one final thrust the contraction hit and white thick cum spurt forth onto her breast. Each contraction sent a white stream first onto one breast and then the other. One after another burst forth and sent the spasms of pleasure all through his body like a tidal wave. The intense feeling of pleasure roared through his pelvis and then through his body and made him tingle with intense satisfaction all over. He closed his eyes and laid his head back as the waves swept over him. This was good and nothing could feel better than this. He thrust a few more times, but the head that had been so large and urged him on had finished its speech and was retracting down within the soft confines of supple breasts. He looked down at her as the final waves moved away and left him with that washed over feeling of relaxation all over his body. He reached down and caressed her breast with his hand and touched her nipple while he was still locked in the confines of her pleasure. He looked at her and she looked back and smiled. She stood up and ran a finger across her breast gathering up a glob of thick white cum. She said, “looks like I get a little appetizer before dinner” and slid her finger in her mouth and licked off the salty white liquid with her tongue as he stood there in the rapidly dimming light and the glow of the grill behind them.  

 

[Godagesil]

I have 37 erotic novels to my credit. For a while I posted my stuff on ASSTR but now I sell it. I'd like to give you a few suggestions.

First pick a perspective and stick with it. By that I mean, stick with first person, secon or third, the god perspective. I use that one since I can get inside everyone's head and tell what they are feeling. You can move back and forth to give a view of the "action" from everyone's standpoint.

Sometimes to hook a reader you might want to start right in the middle of a sex scene and then do a flashback or describe a memory that leads you up to the current scene. After all, we read this stuff for the sex, not for long boring descriptions.

Another tip is don't just describe the people or the setting. For instance I see many stories where the guy describes a woman from head to toe even listing her cup size and the height of her high heels. You can do it differently, which will be much more interesting by introducing descriptive elements in the story as you go along. Hair color here when she pushed her hair back....eye color there when she stares at a guy very provocatively. Her bust size when she leans over and her big heavy breasts push out against her blouse and her thick nipples make their presence known through the thin fabric.

Here is a rule to remember. Start a new paragraph each time a character starts a new action. Don't mix them together. The guy may be slamming the shit out of the girl's poon and is talking dirty to her while he does it.

If she says something in response, you start a new paragraph.

Just like dialog, new character speaks, a new paragraph. A different character does something, new paragraph. If you do this it makes it easier for the reader to follow the action. For instance on speaking, you use quotations... "I'm gonna blow a load in you that's gonna scrub your teeth!" Dan grunted. It might not scrub her teeth but she's gonna have a hard time not gagging. Dan smiled. Then you can move to what the character's thinking without having to state it. The reader just knows.

If you are in the middle of action, keep the paragraphs short, cutting back and forth. You don't want to slow down the action with a long long description of what one person is doing. That isn't how sex goes is it? Everyone is usually doing something.

I might have the guy doing or saying something then cut to what the girl is doing or saying. It moves the action along. Sex isn't just in and out, in and out, its thrusting in and pulling out, describe that in detail, how the labia caresses his cock or how his rod pushes in her sphincter with each thrust. There is sucking and chewing. hickies and teeth marks, finger bruises from mauling and kneading hands on breasts.

I've always said if what I'm writing is giving me an erection while I'm typing it, then it is probably going to do the same for the reader. I try to make the words jump off the page.

It might help to get a book on screen writing. Screenplays are nothing but visual. They have to make the reader see the imagery and action that will be on the screen. You can do the same thing, but just don't overdo it with verbal descriptions. Mix them in with the action. You don't want your description to read like a shopping list.

Some of my fans used to call me the picture painter. I'd describe the setting... Diana lay on her back staring at the crack and peeling wall paint while she waited for the John to blow his wad and finish. If the action is taking place in a seedy motel, make them smell the mildew of the leaking window air conditioner or see the cockroach slowly crawling along the sink counter past the girl's well worn cervical diaphram.

You can throw in some description of the smell in the room, sex has a very powerful aroma, not usually noticed by the participants, but if you've ever walked into a room after others have been having sex, you'll know, it's hard to mistake. Don't forget the rumpled sweat and semen stained sheets afterwards or maybe in the middle when the second three gents go to mount her they feel the dampness of the sweat from the previous three.

I like visualize the scene in my head, and then describe the sights, sounds, and smells. You want to describe the aftermath too...

Robyn cupped the big mounds of her breasts with her hands, her fingers toying with her thick erect nipples. She lay sprawled with her legs apart so her husband could watch the congealed slug of Negro spunk that was slowly oozing from the gaping maw of her well-fucked cunt. The thick lips of her labia minora glistened with a layer of cunt butter that the big black pole had churned inside her. "Come take a look at what it looks like when a real man fuck's your wife you pencil dick!"

The sound of his wife's laughter burned in the naked man's ears. The snort dweebish Robert McGuire walked like an automaton over to the bed, the scene of his latest emasculation.

He didn't know it, but there was worse yet to come.

Robyn motioned to her husband. "If you can't be a man, maybe its time you got taught to be something else." She sat up and reached out. Her fingers grabbed his ears and pulled his face into the stinking swamp of her leaking cunt. She slewed his lips from side to side and up and down her slimy trench.

"G-g-g-g-l-l-l-g-g-h!" Bob felt like gagging. He wanted to resist but he couldn't. After watching the big Negro debauch his wife, he felt impotent, powerless. The smell of her reeking quim and the virile Negro's sperm overwhelmed his senses. He knew he shouldn't but he couldn't help himself. He knew it was what she wanted him to do. He'd been turned into a spineless husk. He knew it. Too many years of being brow beaten and humiliated. He started sucking the big Negro's jism from his wife's poon. He didn't even flinch when he felt the Negro's hands prying his buttocks apart and the pressure of the man's black cock against his sphincter.

"You're gonna be turned into a sissy boy, Robert. You're gonna learn to love that big black cock as much as I do," his wife chortled.

"Get ready white boy, I'm gonna make you my bitch, just like I did your wifey."

The sound of Leroy's dark chocolate laugh sent chills up Bob's spine. He barely noticed since the chill melded with the sensation of his big black rod punching through his sphincter and boring deep into his rectum.

I guess we could hope that Bob at least gets a reach-around from Leroy, but I wouldn't count on it.

 

[Mr. Hobbs]

Thanks for the writing pointers. I had some trouble putting together a third story and laid off the midnight writing for a while. For some reason I popped in to check out the forum and found your comments. If I can find the third story draft I may give it a try. Or just start over. Writing is all about writing and then rewriting and then rewriting again Isn’t it?

You mentioned you are selling your stuff now. Do you have any suggestions on how to get started writing this stuff and selling it? Not sure I could pull it off, but it’s worth a try.

And no, I’m pretty sure Bob isn’t getting any deluxe treatment from Leroy tonight. Nice work.

 

[Godagesil]

Try posting some of your stuff to ASSTR and solicit feedback by email. I put my email in a header in the stories. Keep a record of the emails of people who like your work.

https://www.asstr.org/main.html

Since ASSTR does not control distribution, I found people were pirating my work and putting it on their own for pay sites. I had it removed and stopped posting to ASSTR but distributed new chapters directly by email. I even wrote some stories on request, with the fan providing the character, setting and character description. I took it from there. After a few years of doing that I started selling the stuff. I must have had a list of fifty "fans" whom I corresponded with from at least five or six different countries from South America to Europe and Austrailia. ASSTR gave me that distribution. Freeones might do the same thing for you.

When I sent out my work to my fans I sent them as copy protected PDF files to keep them from altering or pirating them. Still, it happens. A fan reported to me that someone on a site like Freeones but catering to Cuckolds was passing my work off as their own. I checked and sure enough there were two of my stories with the titles changed that some clown was taking credit for. I proved it to the moderators and they took them down and banned the plagarist.