Work Stories (POST EM)

[Torre82]

Today's work story:
High of 86 degrees.
working in the sun, half the time.
Take break as scheduled. 12 noon.
Dig holes in ground cuz we're gonna 'elevate' this 1950s trailer and add on to it. 100,000$ project.
Dont ask me how that works or what the plan is, it is above my paygrade.
Dig holes, gonna put in automobile jacks, prop up, put up wooden 1 ft blocks to hold it and fill the holes with concrete and wait?
(I am not a concrete guy but I understand how easy it is to set a tube, fill it and wait for a few days)
(but on that same hand if you're paying a guy with ZERO exp to do a foundation? bruh)

Do everything as asked. Put in the work.
/end times come and said we dont have any work tomorrow cuz we found a beer can in the trash barrel.

... so I guess I got the weekend off cuz someone used my job site's trash can and he's looking at each one of us like... "WAS IT YOU?!?" /EvilVillainVoice.wav
/slight rage and yet I already got my(and my supervisor, since we're on the same crew) weekend lined up with another employer, if they need it

 

[Stephen1956]

Back in the 1960s, our county had a sheriff named Ivan. He was a gruff, no-nonsense fellow. Before he got the job as our Sheriff, Ivan had a job in an auto factory in Saginaw. As a result of working in that auto factory, Ivan lost part of his hearing. In the jail one morning, he was bringing breakfast back to the inmates. Each cell door had a small feed door that allowed meals to be handed to the inmates. One of the women inmates whispered out of the open feed door, "Sheriff, I need a Kotex". Ivan slammed the breakfast tray down on the booking desk and yelled, "you'll eat cornflakes just like everyone else!".

 

[maildude99]

As a mailman, seeing customers come to their doors naked isn't all that rare. But when it happens, it's usually a disappointment. Once, I was on loan as a sub, delivering in an affluent neighborhood. It was early. I had an express. I knocked on the door of this really big Victorian house...the kind of house you'd expect a rich old widow to inhabit. The door opens, and there stands this straggled, septuagenarian Yenta, wearing a bathrobe that was, shall we say, completely not closed. If wrinkled skin, a heavy bush, and saggy breast thingies is your speed, then this would've been a boon. But to a semi-norm like me, it was an agonizing five minutes. Because the gal just wouldn't acknowledge she was flashing me with her paleolithic ladyparts. And she took her sweet 'ole time fumbling around with the envelope, trying to shake off her hangover long enough to fucking sign it. Once the ordeal was over, I walked to the next address...without a boner, and with a mental scar that prevented a valid erection for weeks after.

 

[Torre82]

/be me, at AIT (job training) in the army after 9/11
/new to Fort Sam Houston, maybe 2 days in, fresh AF and have no idea what to expect
Basic training only gives you about 4 hours (often interrupted) of sleep per day and even if you are 20 years old and 'invincible', you are tired AF for 2 months STRAIGHT
so just coming off basic, then the plane ride, then finding my way in a weird city to a military base at 2 am, THEN my first day is running on no sleep and jet lagged..
(yeah I'm not feeling this. wtf did I sign up for)

So day 2, right? Now I'm TOO TIRED TO SLEEP so I take a walk around the barracks cuz I was used to absolute quiet when I was rest so all these assjacks playing spades until dawn is... new. "New". Let's put it that way.

SO. I walk around to the other side and some guys are drinkin' up a storm, laughing and playing cards. They ask me if I want a shot.
They ask 'Whiskey or vodka?'

So at some point later, JUST LIKE WHAT HAPPENS WITH YOUNG MEN BEING STUPID... I look at the time and realize we got formation in less than 2 hours and I'm fucking SLOSHED.
... but sloshed means I hit the pillow and poof. Out like a light.

.... but the crew of jokers was still doing the thing and thought they'd just pull an all nighter.
I didnt know that until 15 minutes later, when I was 14 minutes into sleep.
"WHY IS SOLDIER MEDIC NAKED?!?!" ~ Drill Sergeant SCREAMING at a naked, extremely drunk dude running around in the barracks

So. We all boot up. Go out to the grounds and 'push'(ups) until formation.

Yeah, I can laugh about it, now. But back then it was just days.. DAYS of sleepless nights and med classes during the day.

 

[Mr. Daystar]

I drove a truck for 33 years, and I have seen my share of accidents, road rage, and just plain stupidity, but one thing recently sticks in my brain. As I was making my exit from the company, and they were including me in the interviews, and as senior driver, I gave the road tests. Most of the applicants were new drivers, hoping to avoid 5 or 10 years running the road, before getting a local, home everyday job. Many were disqualified, because their license had a restriction keeping them in a truck with an automatic transmission, and some you could just tell, didn't really want to do the other work involved, like forklift operation, and helping out on the dock after they did their runs. This one kid comes in, nice kid, in his 20's, has a baby mama, and wants to be around for his kid. A guy that probably would have done a great job. We go out to the rig, he does a pre-trip for me, climbs in, and tells me he's really nervous, and explains he hasn't driven a lot of manual trucks. We're in a new Freightliner, with an empty 45 foot trailer, and empty we weigh about 30k pounds. I have a standard route I take, and before we get through a quarter of it, he stalls the tractor THIRTEEN times, trying to let the clutch out. Everytime he does it, he gets more nervous, and I try to help him as much as I can from the passenger seat, but he's just not getting it. We didn't even do the whole route. We get back, he backs it in just fine. He made all of the turns fine, he drove fine, and although his shifting was a little off, it's normal for a new truck to be a little more tight in the gears, and a new tractor takes a day or two to get used to. We get back, I explain to the bosses, and tell them, I can work with him a few days, and get him up to speed. They saw no. They hire another young kid, that said all the things they wanted to hear, and did only slightly better on the road test, in that he never stalled the truck. After they hire him, they tell me they want me to work with him a couple of Saturdays, just like I would have done with the other kid. The guy they hired lasted two weeks max, before he became the slackard problem child, and finally just no showed. I wasted 3 Saturdays on a useless twit, that I could have put into a guy that REALLY wanted to work.

 

[The Yak]

In April of 2010, at 24 years old, I was working third shift security at a local mall. My shift ran from 10 pm to 7 am. One of the tenants that was not inside the mall itself but was on property was a sports bar. One night I received a call from them advising that they had a drunk and disorderly individual in their establishment who was being loud and throwing things. They, and every other normal person in the bar I would presume, had already called the police but they contacted me also for reasons about which I have never been entirely clear. In any event, it was my job to pretend to care so I responded to this call. Parked the car, donned the campaign hat we were forced to wear because it gave management something to laugh at us about and entered the sports bar.

I heard the assailant yelling nonsense as soon as I walked in followed by a crash of broken glass which was itself followed by a few of the women in the bar making nervous yelps. Not quite screams but they were vocalizing their discomfort with the situation. I look back on this situation and I think the only reason I kept going instead of staying in the entryway of the restaurant was because I was a stupid 24 year old. I was never an Alpha Male type but everybody is stupid at that age. I walked into the dining area wearing my stupid uniform and stupid hat, "armed" only with the stupid radio they gave us which transmitted one of every ten messages in such quality as to be understood by the receiving party. As soon as the drunk guy sees me he begins gesturing toward one of the employees and shouts "ARREST HIM!! ARREST HIM!!". He, perhaps due to the intoxicating effects of the alcohol, thought I had actual authority and this was in my favor. I realize that this is my card to play, ask everyone to calm down and direct the drunk and belligerent individual to take a seat and tell me what happened. He sits and I sit across from him in such a way as to give me a view of the door for when the police arrive.

He begins recounting, in a reasonably calm and non-destructive way, a tale of not receiving the number of wings he had ordered despite being charged for that number of wings. In reality, I could not have cared less what the original issue was as I was only attempting to occupy him with something other than destruction until the police arrived. My plan would have worked perfectly except the employee who allegedly did not provide the requisite number of wings kept interrupting with his side of the story, which only served to agitate the drunk person further. I asked the employee twice to stop interrupting and told him that I would get his side of things once our inebriated friend had given his account. I wanted to say: "Look you stupid bastard, I do not actually give a fuck what happened and I couldn't do a damn thing about it if I did. I am just trying to run out the clock until the men with guns arrive." Employee continues to interrupt, drunk person becomes angry and lunges. They briefly scuffle, employee is able to get some separation between them and everyone in the building then turns and looks at me presumably with the expectation that I will arrest the individual for attacking their friend. I shrug because I am just some guy in a stupid hat.

I have officially run out of ideas at this point so we spent the next interminable minutes basically back at square one with drunk guy and employee spitting invective and profanity at one another while everyone there regarded me with contempt for lack of action. Eventually, two of Raleigh's finest show up, arrest drunk person and I left the bar to return to my regular duties which involved walking around an empty mall all night and looking at the pictures of women who were banned from the mall for shoplifting and deciding which of them was most attractive.

I think about this event from time to time because those people seemed to genuinely expect me to have been helpful in that situation. They learned the valuable lesson that a person making $9/hr is likely not going to go above and beyond for their job and risk personal injury or legal liability. Though they may have been annoyed or angry with me that night, I like to think that they are now better people who will not again place undue reliance on an dejected alcoholic who just wants to finish his shift and go home.

 

[Mr. Daystar]

I think if it would have been me, I would have pulled a cop aside, and asked him to at least yell at the employee, who helped make your life harder.

 

[Bluejaye]

Two stories involving the same manager.
Came within an inch of being fired because I wouldn't carry boxes for the poor wee women at work. Told them to put it in writing that women weren't to carry boxes (part of the task they were doing). Never happened of course, he wasn't quite that stupid as to put discrimination like that down on paper. Was pretty frosty at work for quite a while after that.

This one I do like. Same guy came out of a meeting one Friday afternoon to ask me why no completed work was sent out to the client the night before. Gave me a bit of a chewing out about it. I printed off the previous days stats and interrupted the same meeting (manager/account manager meeting) and with great pleasure showed him in front of all of them that no work for that client had been completed, so there was nothing to be sent. The half arsed apology was quite nice.


That the type of work story meet your criteria?

 

[tvstrip]

I spent most of my summers as a student working in hospitality, i.e. restaurant and hotels.
So many bonkers stories, both of crazy customers and moronic management.

Two that stand out from those hotels days:

1) Customers who complained that the view from their room was horrible due to the bad weather, and wanted to be compensated because they paid more for a higher floor room. I'm thinking: "How were you expecting me to fix this? Did you think the weather was my fault, or that I have some switch that can make it sunny?"

2) We had a room (7th floor) which just had the bay window replaced. The "glue" was still settling and it was possible with enough force it could pop out. But instead of closing off the room for the night, management told us to sell the room with the warning to "not lean against the window". I refused to sell the room as I didn't not want to be associated with a guest death the next morning. But one of my coworkers did sell it. (Luckily nothing happened)

 

[Torre82]

So I'm working at Qdoba, this one time.

It isnt the job I chose, it's the first to call back. /sigh, pulls up a keyboard and sips a beer

So I'm living downtown Indianapolis. The place I'm after is near the hospitals, which is a 45 minute walk. Should I take the bus? I suppose. But I'm working off calories, saving money and... best of all.. avoiding the absolute clusterfuck that CAN be mass-transit. Some days are fine. Others are not. And it would only take me 'THERE'. I get off too late to take the bus back, so why set still for 15 minutes, drive slowly for 10, stop a block away and walk back.. unless the weather dictates I should?

Anyway, so this place was a cluster from the moment I applied. Two under-18s that were 'besties' working the front and cashiering. (TEEHEE)
I knew the GM but I didnt know that until 2 days later when he got BACK from vacation. The assistant manager was fine and friendly and great.. and forthcoming.

At the end of the interview, she told me she was ACTUALLY under investigation by the company and would probably not be there, in a while.

So whatevs. I need the cash cuz downtown living is cheap enough to be covered by a good 40 hr week, but just barely and with food banks all over the damn place, it's actually pretty easy to be homeless. But also very not, if ya know what I mean.

So I get on, I dont get the prep position, I dont get the dish position, I dont get cashiering or supervisor. I get the 'everything' position. Like within 3 days I do. It's... wow.
So I'm on big grill, little grill, meat prep, veg prep, cheese mix, dish, END OF NIGHT CLOSING and whatever else needs done. (Cuz we got those 2 kids working up front and calling off for concerts, sicknesses they dont actually have, etc)

So I make it to that third day, I dread coming in. I pull in another day, then maybe 2 more? Maybe another week. It mightve been nearly 2 weeks cuz I got a paycheck at a bi-weekly. SO.

dish guy gets hired, then violated by probation 2 days later. One of the girls up front quits so her friend is now bored and has no motivation.

Manager uses up his allotted 40 just helping day shift. Nice lady that the company hates and even the GM told me she's under investigation is helping on nights but has to run front, back office and at least soak the dish so I can get to it by .. /sighs, 30 minutes AFTER we close. That doesnt include floors, scrubbing grill, floors out front, taking out ALL trash..

So. All that said, I reach the end of the first week (or so) and they tell me to come in for a morning shift for 'training' cuz the asst mgr has just been 'wingin' it by checking on me every 20 minutes to see if I'm half-assing it okay enough to pass inspection if corporate comes in.

I dont do mornings. A surefire way to get me halfway to quitting is to ask me to work when the sun is up. Not to mention I'm 45 minutes THERE, and after a full 10 hours of bullshit.. I'm more of 1 hr 15 minutes walk back. After 1am in a major city.

So I pull a late night, walk my ass home, get my 2 hours of decompression and vodka in, sleep for 4 and I'm back out walking in the summer sunshine. Hoo-fucking-ray.
I get there and my 'trainer' is not there for another 2 hours. THEN... there is this... let's call 'im a MORNING PERSON, there. Those holy fuck I had coffee pots and cocaine and I love me some dammit sunshine people.
(fuck them)

So they also dont listen to my 'I know' and treat me like I dont have 10 years of kitchen experience and I didnt just successfully half-ass my way and an entire kitchen through a week at a major qdoba location near COLLEGES AND HOSPITALS FOR FUCK'S SAKE.

This would all be fine except then he takes off early after 3 hours talking "AT ME" and not to me, and I'm back to where I began and it's just ME and the ASST MGR.
Again. Alone. As if it was night shift.

I apologize to her, switch into my civvies, clock out and walk home.

Plot twist: I got a job while walking back home. Cuz I told them what a shitshow my last job was and made them laugh. SO... bright side, right?

 

[MissWalters]

This past Thursday I handled an envelope which was addressed to the company I work for. When I opened it up and pulled out the paper inside, it was filled with glitter.

I was glitter bombed.

The majority of it ended up on my desk, but a good amount ended up in my lap and then in the floor. There was no return address on the envelope and nothing but a folded up piece of paper with the glitter in it.

 

[tvstrip]

This past Thursday I handled an envelope which was addressed to the company I work for. When I opened it up and pulled out the paper inside, it was filled with glitter.

I was glitter bombed.

The majority of it ended up on my desk, but a good amount ended up in my lap and then in the floor. There was no return address on the envelope and nothing but a folded up piece of paper with the glitter in it.

I can see how Mark Rober got the idea for his videos

 

[Stephen1956]

When I worked for our county humane society I had a call to go to a trailer park in the Northern part of the county. As I was talking with the single mom there she asked me if I knew of any place where she could find food for herself and her toddler. I told her about a local church that could help her. I did not get very far down the highway, after leaving her trailer, before I had to pull over to the shoulder of the road because the tears running down my face were blocking my vision.

 

[Stephen1956]

This past Thursday I handled an envelope which was addressed to the company I work for. When I opened it up and pulled out the paper inside, it was filled with glitter.

I was glitter bombed.

The majority of it ended up on my desk, but a good amount ended up in my lap and then in the floor. There was no return address on the envelope and nothing but a folded up piece of paper with the glitter in it.

My wife's friend, Toni, enjoys filling her greeting cards she sends to us with glitter. We open her cards and all these tiny shapes of stars and flowers pour out. Toni never learned how to drive a car, so she needs help getting groceries. I took her to a grocery store on her 68th birthday. Once inside the grocery store, I let her wander over to the produce section, then I went to the service counter. I asked the manager if he could announce over the public address system a happy birthday greeting to Toni. Just as I caught up to her, the overhead speakers announced "Happy birthday, Toni". She gave me a look I'll always remember.