* Discretely fill your pockets with sugar packets, napkins, salt shakers, silverware, floral arrangements, etc.
* Hold a debate. Take both sides.
* Undress your date verbally.
* When ordering, inquire whether the restaurant has any live food.
* Without asking, eat off of your date's plate. Eat more from their plate than they do.
* Chew with your mouth open, talk with your mouth full and spray crumbs. If a crumb lands anywhere near your date, pick up the crumb, put it in your mouth and say, "I'm all about conservation."
* Eat everything on your plate within 30 seconds of it being placed in front of you.
* Excuse yourself to use the restroom. Go back to the head waiter and ask for another table in a different part of the restaurant.
* Order another meal. When your date finally finds you, ask: "What took you so long in the bathroom?"
* Drool.
* Stand up every five minutes, circle your table with your arms outstretched, and make airplane sounds.
* Sacrifice French fries to a Pagan god.
* Stare at your date's neck and grind your teeth audibly.
* Twitch spastically. If your date asks about it, pretend you don't know what he's talking about.
* Hum. Loudly. In monotone.
* Order a bucket of lard.
* Upon entering the restaurant, ask for a seat away from the windows, with a good view of all exits, and where your back will be facing a wall. Act nervous.
* Lick your plate. Offer to lick your date's.
* Ask for crayons to color the placemat. You'll need to be extra persuasive in fancier restaurants with linen tablecloths.
* Howl and whistle at women's legs, especially if you're female.
* Recite your dating history. Improvise. Include pets and relatives.
* Recite dirty limericks to the people at the table next to you.
* Ask the people at neighboring tables for food.
* Beg your date to tattoo your name on her derriere. Keep bringing the subject up periodically throughout the meal.
:glugglug:
ಠ_ಠ
* Hold a debate. Take both sides.
* Undress your date verbally.
* When ordering, inquire whether the restaurant has any live food.
* Without asking, eat off of your date's plate. Eat more from their plate than they do.
* Chew with your mouth open, talk with your mouth full and spray crumbs. If a crumb lands anywhere near your date, pick up the crumb, put it in your mouth and say, "I'm all about conservation."
* Eat everything on your plate within 30 seconds of it being placed in front of you.
* Excuse yourself to use the restroom. Go back to the head waiter and ask for another table in a different part of the restaurant.
* Order another meal. When your date finally finds you, ask: "What took you so long in the bathroom?"
* Drool.
* Stand up every five minutes, circle your table with your arms outstretched, and make airplane sounds.
* Sacrifice French fries to a Pagan god.
* Stare at your date's neck and grind your teeth audibly.
* Twitch spastically. If your date asks about it, pretend you don't know what he's talking about.
* Hum. Loudly. In monotone.
* Order a bucket of lard.
* Upon entering the restaurant, ask for a seat away from the windows, with a good view of all exits, and where your back will be facing a wall. Act nervous.
* Lick your plate. Offer to lick your date's.
* Ask for crayons to color the placemat. You'll need to be extra persuasive in fancier restaurants with linen tablecloths.
* Howl and whistle at women's legs, especially if you're female.
* Recite your dating history. Improvise. Include pets and relatives.
* Recite dirty limericks to the people at the table next to you.
* Ask the people at neighboring tables for food.
* Beg your date to tattoo your name on her derriere. Keep bringing the subject up periodically throughout the meal.
:glugglug:
ಠ_ಠ