TOP 30 VIN DIESEL FACTS
1. When Vin Diesel drinks ***, his asparagus smells funny
2. If you rearrange the letters in Vin Diesel it reveals his credo: "I End Lives"
3. There is no "I" in team. There are two "I's" in Vin Diesel. Fuck you, team.
4. There is no theory of evolution, just a list of creatures Vin Diesel allows to live.
5. In an average living room there are 1,242 objects Vin Diesel could use to **** you, including the room itself.
6. When Vin Diesel goes to donate *****, he declines the syringe, and instead requests a hand *** and a bucket.
7. When Vin Diesel was born, the nurse said, "Holy crap! That's Vin Diesel!" Then she had sex with him. At that point, she was the third girl he had ***** with.
8. Vin Diesel once walked down the street with a massive erection. There were no survivors.
9. Vin Diesel coined the phrase, "I could eat a *****" after he ate every last unicorn in existence.
10. Crop circles are Vin's way of telling the world that sometimes corn needs to lie the fuck down.
11. Vin diesel has always been able to find Waldo, except for one time. He found himself stuck on the last page of Where's Waldo Now?, not being able to find the Waldo without a shoe. He threw the book down and screamed "This is BULLSHIT! There all wearing shoes!" He then proceeded to eat the book and exclaim, "IF I CAN"T FIND WALDO THEN, NO ONE CAN!" The book he ate belonged to a ***** that he had borrowed it from. The ***** began to cry and Vin ate him for good measure. The incident has since been refereed to as Christmas.
12. Vin Diesel has two speeds: walk and ****.
13. When Vin Diesel jumps into a body of water, he doesn't get wet. The water gets Vin instead.
14. Vin Diesel is the only man to ever beat a brick wall in a game of tennis.
15. The eternal conundrum :what happens when an unstoppable ***** meets an immovable object was finally solved when Vin Diesel punched himself in the face.
16. Vin Diesel once beat Super Mario Bros. 3 without even touching his Nintendo controller. He just yelled at his TV in between bites of his "fillet of *****" sandwich, and the game bet itself out of fear.
17.Vin Diesel can set ant's on fire with a magnifying glass. At night.
18. Vin Diesel is the reason why Waldo is hiding.
19. In fine print on the last page of The Guinness Book of World Recordsit notes that all world records are held by Vin Diesel, and that those listed are simply the closest anyone has ever come to matching him.
20. Vin Diesel is not lactose intolerant, he just refuses to put up with lactose's ****.
21. Vin Diesel can divide by zero.
22. Vin Diesel was the hunter who shot Bambi's ******. He then wore her carcass like it was a coat while he made his rounds at the local ********'s hospital.
23. You are what you eat. That is why Vin Diesels Diet consists entirely of bricks, steel, and the tears of small ********.
24. If you were to lock Vin Diesel in a room with a guitar, a year later you would have the greatest album ever, it would sweep the Grammy's. When asked why he doesn't do this Vin replied " Because Grammy's are for queers." He then ate a ***** to show the seriousness of his response.
25. Vin Diesel played Russian roulette with a fully loaded *** and won.
26. Vin Diesel doesn't believe in condoms. Instead he sticks his penis in a girl, and uses that girl as a condom while fucking another.
27. Vin Diesel once ate the entire cake at a bachelor party before anyone could tell him there was a stripper in it.
28. To attain inner peace, Vin Diesel eats Buddhists.
29. It takes 14 puppeteers to make Vin Diesel to smile, but only 2 to make him destroy an orphanage.
30. Magnetic compasses do not point to wards true North - they point in the direction of Vin Diesel. He just likes to sit on a lawn chair and shout "Jackets are for pussies!" at the Arctic Researchers.
