Swinger Misconceptions and Truths

Is anyone on this board actually a swinger besides a select few? I and my girlfriend are swingers, and very active ones at that.

I've read a few things on here about swinging and how it is only old people and/or ugly people and nothing could be further from the truth.

A common, but very easily understood, misconception about swinging is that it is because you are overweight/old/ugly. This is false. Really, who wants to be seen running around naked while really out of shape?

I, myself, am just shy of 30, a cycling fiend, and love being in the gym. I weigh a solid and strong 200lbs and was recently contacted by a photographer to be a model for a few of his shoots. The woman in my life, she will also soon be a model. She is slightly older than me but stunningly (as well as youthfully) beautiful with awesome natural 32DD boobs and weighs 115lbs. We also were selected to a Couple Of the Month for an online swinger magazine, soon to happen in the next few months.

We are part of a group that is made up mostly of 30-40 year old, professional, intelligent, and attractive couples. Most of us are successful in our chosen professions and very secure in who we are as human beings and as lovers. We have former cheerleaders, football players, lawyers, small business owners, stock brokers, etc. A few are under 30, but those can be counted on two hands.

1.) Sex is just sex. It doesn't equate love. Have you never had sex with someone you didn't love? Why not take you love of sex and bring your friends in to it?

2.) Sharing is caring. Couples in The Lifestyle are more secure in their relationships and divorce rates are lower because the couples talk about EVERYTHING. There are no secrets, everything is upfront and open. It is very refreshing and alot of fun. Even moreso, the sex afterwards between the bonafide couple is really just....what's the word...staggering.

3.) Swinging means you aren't committed to your spouse/significant other. Nothing could be further from the truth. Being honest and open to your partner in such a way makes you that much more committed.

4.) The Lifestyle is about the experience as a couple. Sure, there are single people in the Lifestyle, but what they experience as compared to what couples experience is vastly different. While I love my girlfriend with every ounce of my being, the fact she introduces me to, and then lets me go bang her hot friends makes me love her even more, plus makes her that much hotter. And she says the same about me.

5.) Another misconception is that you MUST have sex with another couple. This is false. There is a term, soft swap. No penetration, only oral and hands. Most people start out with soft swap, some stay soft swap. It is all in what YOU as a COUPLE are comfortable with.

Some of you may have questions and I hope alot of you do. Please, ask away. Also, please check out the following sites for more info (I'm not affiliated with any site, just trying to educate)

http://www.coupledoingit.com/index.html

Sex is fun! Your friends are fun! Mix the best of both worlds and your life will be much more satisfying. :wave:
 
I think you're preaching to the choir here brotha...most people here share most of these views on sex. Although the key difference is that we're mostly porn nerds so when we ACTUALLY FINALLY HAVE girlfriends...we act like Gollum and the ring of power (The Precious! Mine! Mine! Here precious!)....we basically might not want to share.
 
Okay, well, what about making you OWN porns? Just think, you could have many "rings" but there is only really one. ;) Plus, at the end of the night, you still get to go home with her....
 

RealMenSwallow

Closed Account
I'm just not into that lifestyle. I have nothing at all wrong with it, or the people who do it, but I have never, and I mean never heard anything about overweight and ugly people swinging, that sounds completely opposite from what I see.

I just personally don't find being with many different women, and loving only one of them, as being much fun.
 

RealMenSwallow

Closed Account
No, but I have no interest in trying it either. I just don't think about sex that way. It's all fine and dandy for other people, and if you want to sleep with other women while you're together with someone that's completely acceptable, but I have no interest in trying it, or witnessing it in person.
 

squallumz

knows petras secret: she farted.
actually. these are very well put. and i agree with them all.

swinging is about sharing an experience with someone you love so much and are so secure with and that know and can handle the fact that sex can just be sex, without the love.

sex is an awesome fucking thing. it is completely possible to swap with another couple or share another person in your bed together. you just have to be secure and in love.

very well written. i dont think i couldve wrote it out any better than that.
 
squallumz, thank you SO so much, glad you liked my writing! :nanner:

Swinging leads to ORGY ORGY ORGY !!!!

Why would you think that? Do orgies happen? Of course they do. Are they an every weekend experience, or even a common occurence? Certainly not. There are many couples that we meet up with for Happy Hour during the week that we have no interest in swinging with but that doesn't mean they aren't cool people to hang with.

Also, are you jealous? :tongue:
 
I think that swinging has become a little more accepted just as women having lesbian experiences are much more common place than even 10 years ago. I think a lot of it has developed out of women being curious but not wanting to step out of their relationship. I know that when I was with guy it was me who was curious and swinging was the perfect toe in the water. Now I enjoy myself with both sexes and my life feels a lot fuller because of it. If someone were to ask if I thought that swinging was right for most, I would say no. It really does shine the bright light into dark corners and sometimes those things should be exposed.
 
Sorry I meant to also add that when I was living in PHX the swinging clubs there were terrific and populated with both younger (mid twenties) and older crowds. I bet I was probably one of the youngest but everybody seemed to mix well and get along. As a side note they a one room there which was a 'free for all' room where, once you stepped inside you were fair game for anyone in there to give you a grope, a tickle or lick. I never had the nerve to try it but if you are talking about ORGY'S, that was really something to see.
 

ChefChiTown

The secret ingredient? MY BALLS
Okay, well, what about making you OWN porns? Just think, you could have many "rings" but there is only really one. ;) Plus, at the end of the night, you still get to go home with her....

The only "ring" you need to concern yourself with as a swinger is that off-reddish colored ring that is going to form around the tip of your penis when you catch a random ass STD from some skank whore who's fucked 200 different other swingers.
 
The only "ring" you need to concern yourself with as a swinger is that off-reddish colored ring that is going to form around the tip of your penis when you catch a random ass STD from some skank whore who's fucked 200 different other swingers.

Well as a women who has had her share of sex I would love to know what's the maximum number of people I could sleep with and not be a skank?
 
I'm still curious about this double standard though. I'm going to go looking for thread or start one that addresses how differently men and women feel about their 'number'. Just curious Chi, what would be a number that was 'too' high for you be comfortable with that person?
 

ChefChiTown

The secret ingredient? MY BALLS
I'm still curious about this double standard though. I'm going to go looking for thread or start one that addresses how differently men and women feel about their 'number'. Just curious Chi, what would be a number that was 'too' high for you be comfortable with that person?

How is that a double standard? If a guy has the same exact sex life as a slutty woman, then he is no better.

Like I said, it's not just about the number. Was the girl in a relationship with the guy she had sex with? Why did she have sex with him? Was it for love? Was it for pleasure? Was it for both? Who was the guy? Was he a boyfriend? Was he a close friend? Was he a random guy at a bar? How much does the girl know about this guy? Etc...
 

squallumz

knows petras secret: she farted.
Sorry I meant to also add that when I was living in PHX the swinging clubs there were terrific and populated with both younger (mid twenties) and older crowds. I bet I was probably one of the youngest but everybody seemed to mix well and get along. As a side note they a one room there which was a 'free for all' room where, once you stepped inside you were fair game for anyone in there to give you a grope, a tickle or lick. I never had the nerve to try it but if you are talking about ORGY'S, that was really something to see.

oh really? i work in phx. ive heard tales but didnt know it was true. i want to know more about this for sure. where can you get in contact with these "clubs"?
 
There are swinger clubs in every city in America. One place to find some is on SDC.com or if you search Philly swinger clubs you'd probably find at LEAST 3 or 4.

Chi, that red ring we are supposed to be worried about, that is why we wear protection! The ONLY woman I go bareback with is my girlfriend. Having a condom on, after going bareback for so long, does suck, but in the grand scheme of things, these things being having sex with other women, I'll gladly take it.
 
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