So I didn't finish the essay on time

I forgot about it after school got out. Anyway, I thought I would post it anyway for your amusement.

If I were Hugh Hefner for one day, the playworld would tremble, or possibly vibrate, at my fingertips. The sky around the mansion would rain bras of irresistible allure as playmates knocked on wood and “Come on Eileen” played in the background. I'd call up Chuck Norris and Vin Diesal, and we'd go on a campaign to raise std awareness via roundhouse kicks and exploding vehicles. I'd declare the gov't unconstitutional and proclaim prostitution legal. I'd genetically engineer cat-girl ninja strippers to aid in my conquest of the planet. I'd invent sexbots. I'd hoist the black flag and amass hordes of booty. I'd get an affro. I'd bake a cake. I'd let the pandas borrow my porn collection. I'd go on a date with the hot girl I met at the crazy place. I'd spray a bottle of ********* on whoever was standing next to me when the mood hit, and then I'd ***** a ****.
 

Premium Content

This thread contains exclusive content for our premium community members.

What you're missing:
  • Full discussion and replies
  • Community interaction and voting
Already have an account?
✨ Unlock exclusive discussions and premium features
Premium Benefits:
Exclusive content • Priority support • Advanced features • Full thread access
Top